I wasn't sure whether not to put this under psychology or the LGBT section, so I opted to put it here because I thought someone else might have an experienced answer. And please, no one start ranting about how I'm going to hell. I've already agreed to take Lucifer out to dinner every sunday when I go down there. No need to remind me.
Okay, so here's the deal. I'm bi. I like guys and girls. But when I think about actually hooking up with girl, I get scared. I don't know why. It's like it's "wrong" somehow to me, even though I know it isn't. But what I can't understand is why I think it's so wrong. Maybe in the back of my mind I'm holding out for a guy first or something. I don't know. Maybe I'm really just gay but haven't figured it out yet...I'm really confused here...Any help or ideas are appreciated.
Oh, and before anyone asks: Lucifer is the name of satan, and I was being sarcastic.
2007-03-16 09:59:24 · 17 answers · asked by ∞.DS.∞ 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, and b4 I forget: When I was little, I was all straight, then I went bi around age...11, I think. So I'm sure I'm into both...Well, partly sure anyway...
2007-03-16 10:23:35 · update #1
Oh, and I'm a guy, not a girl. Sorry, should have said that to begin with...
2007-03-16 10:51:53 · update #2
You know, it's all good. Give yourself time. I think it's more about the soul of the person than their equipment. Maybe if you look at it that way, you won't have to be scared.
But a lot of people grow up with the whole religious thing or with so much preaching about "if you get a girl pregnant..." I don't know what trips have been put on you so I don't know why you're scared of girls.
I DO know you'll figure this out and do know how frustrating it is to be in the place where you're in limbo not knowing why.
For now, just be with people who make you comfortable, who accept you and respect you.
Oh - and I've heard Lucifer is into BBQ just in case you're working on the menu!
2007-03-16 10:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow this sounds like what I was going through for a while.
I dont know how to expain how I got over it. Did you just recently tell people you are Bi? because that might have something to do with it. That's what my problem was. You may be waiting for a guy first, as I have found with a lot of my Bi friends that are girls, they prefer one sex to the other. I prefer guys, but I still like girls. Sometimes the possiblity of dating a certain one freaks me out. But I dont worry about it. The other thing is it may directly relate to the fact that you want to get married eventually right? So you may just prefer guys to girls. I sound like I'm going on and on. So I'll stop. I really hope this helped, because I know first hand that the confusion really sucks.
2007-03-16 10:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by jesssikahhh_x3 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Dear DS...you need to relax and stop worrying about all this crap. You are going to do what feels good to you...forget about labels, forget about all the ignorant hell-fire and damnation stuff here. This is your life, no one elses. You could well be bi, but...consider that with women, you may have no experience and therefore suffer from performance anxiety..a very real issue. Just take it slowly, as it comes, and see what happens. IN time, you will settle into whatever you are gracefully. IT is no big deal to anyone whether you are straight, bi, or gay...just be yourself and enjoy the hell out of life. Don't be one of those who, on their death bed, is full of "I wish I had...." INstead, be one who thinks, "wow!~ this has been some trip!" Good luck
2007-03-16 10:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ha ha, nice bit about Lucifer.
Maybe you're just nervous, or maybe you were raised to think that it was wrong. If you want to be with a girl, if you are attracted to someone in particular, only you can make the choice as to whether or not to go down that road. If it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe you just aren't ready, or aren't into girls. Either way, it's not wrong, you just have to figure out whether or not it's right for you.
Good Luck!!
2007-03-16 10:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by jjspike 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you feel guilty when you hook up w/ the girls, because you think you will cheat on them when you hook up w/guys, you probably feel like you are only giving them 50%, because you're bi, perhaps many bi-people feel the same way, it not easy, but that's life, try to make the best out of it.
2007-03-16 10:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by @!# 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
None of us who "live" here are going to preach to you, so be cool.
I'm thinking you're more gay than bi. Gals are pretty and nice and fun to be with (and have a lot more fashions to choose from!), and they feel nice to hold and dance with. But when it comes to sex, I'm only comfortable with guys. I wish it were otherwise, but it's not, as I've learned. I thought being afraid of intercourse was just from being a virgin and lack of experience, but that wasn't it: it just wasn't/isn't for me. Maybe the truth is, it isn't for you either.
And after the villagers with their torches and pitchforks get through with me, save me a place at the table next to Old Scratch.....
2007-03-16 10:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Trust your gut!
If you don't feel comfortable asking out a girl, even though she is attractive, then you have probably a good reason for it, even though you might not know the reason yet on an intellectual level.
2007-03-16 10:18:07 · answer #7 · answered by LGM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are attracted to women because women are beautiful creatures but not sexually attracted to them. Maybe you're more nervous about either not getting a hard on or not satisfying her. You either could be gay......... or not..... just try and have sex with a woman. If you cant get a hard on, just eat her out. If you can get a hard on, try not to concentrate to hard on it so you dont loose it.
Good Luck and report back! :)
2007-03-16 10:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i honestly think ur gay! i mean if u feel uncomfortable wit the idea of being wit a girl and not a guy.. then hello.. thats the gay alarm not the bi alarm.
2007-03-16 10:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by aj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is it possible that you are gay (since you enjoy thise hookups) but hooking up with girls only because you believe you are bi, or should be straight?
in a nutshell....are you changing your desired behavior to fit into a mold of bisexuality of heterosexuality?
2007-03-16 18:52:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋