have u ever felt that u wanted 2 end your life? cos i want 2 end it now!!?

Question

recently i'm passing from a lot of hard times. At home, everytime i'm hearing shouting and fights. I just came from a fight with my parents. It's because they want to decide everything for me(i'm 14 soon 15!!). It's only about a stupid piano thingg....but we really fight bad!! It's nbot the first time that someone fights....i found a message from my father to my motther on her mobile and it read something like " You know that you don't want me anymore....". I'm feeling so sad...i don't want that because of me my family will shatter or something. I love my family and don't wont that something wrong happenes. I don't want to give my parents something to worry a lot because i don't wont that they have.............an attack of somthing. I love them with all my heart....but i don't know why we are fighting a lot. everytime i do something....i get a shout....and almost everytime i'm doing the right thing...it's because of my older sister....she wants everyone(especially me) to be her slave.

at school i try to look happy of everything.....i feel safe because i hide my troubles and everything....no-one suspects that i'm passing from a bad crisis.....

i don't wanna talk to a counsellor cos i feel ashamed......

Answer 1

Hello there,

Sweetheart first i must tell you that you have touched my heart. I have 2 children who are now adults. and i must tell you i know exactly what u are feeling and talking about. However the problem is not u. It lies with your parents. You are probably feeling so boxed in you want to scream. And sometimes counselors can make things a little worse...

You hurting yourself is not the answer..... You are a child of God and you must go to Him (GOD) and talk to him.... he knows exactly what u are going thru... But i must let you know that you matter.... Your feelings are important and you are not anyone's slave.....Sometimes parents get so caught up in their own problems that they tend to forget what it is doing to the children. or they just arent listening at that time because of the distraction..... You will get thru this.....trust me...do you have a church that u belong to? You really need the attention that God can give to you..... Please if you need to talk i am here to listen for you..... I care about you even though i dont know you.... But you are important to GOD.....

GOD BLESS...

Theresa .

Answer 2

WELL, YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO END IT ALL, if you did you wouldn't be asking for help.when I was your age I sometime felt the same way, I thought I was grown up and shouldn't be treated as a child.I refused to do the piano thing also,(it wasn't macho enough) now that I'm 50 I wish I done it, I do really like piano music. You'll deal with it. The big sister thing, every guy go's through this.Sisters turn into women, women want to be waited on (even if they say they don't) it's the old birds and bees thing. some even out grow it in time and some don;t.Don't worry in 2 or 3 years she;ll be married and it will be some other guys problem.
Now as for the big problem, there;s nothing you can do about your folks.Sometimes people just can;t seem to get along.They may holler at you but it;s more than likely that they;re upset over what;s happening between them.They will work it out one way or the other.If they do go in different directions it won't be your fault, but they will still be your mom and dad. lets hope they work it out and keep it together'
As for you, well ten years from now when your out on your own and enjoying life these days want even matter.Believe me I've been there. You can try to talk to them and tell them you're worried about them and that you saw the message. Maybe they will stop and think about their kids and quit worrying so much about their problems. May work, may not, but you have tried.

Answer 3

On May 11, 2006 my beautiful cousin committed suicide. He left a note that was very much like your question. There are so many things I wish I could say to him now. Like how much we love him and how nothing will EVER be the same without him there. I would tell him how guilty I feel for not seeing how much he needed us to reach out to him. He had so much love and he didn't reach out to us when he was hurting.
All 15 year olds fight with their parents - some a little more and some a little less. But this time in your life WILL pass. Take a deep breath, my friend. Please. There is no shame in talking to someone about your fears, your problems, your sadness. Your life is going to get better, and you will look back and wonder why you were so willing to end it too soon.

Answer 4

You are not alone. Life is not easy and at times can be really painful and difficult. Many people think about suicide, few do it. Those that do are quitters. Be tough, buck up, and remember these things......

1) Life goes faster as you get older. This drama with your parents will end in 2-3 years as you become an adult. Hang in there, you do not have far to go before this dilema is over. Once you are an adult and have freedom, you will have better control of your life. You are almost there!

2) Always know that whenever someone loses their temper, they have lost control and have exposed themselves as being emotionally weak. Make it a competition in your mind not to allow yourself to lose control of your temper or your emotions. If your parents are losing it more than you, you win. You are the better person. At the same time, do what you can not to provke them to anger. Though sometimes you have to understand you can not control the tempers of others.

3) It is not a sign of weakness to seek help or counseling, it is a sign of strength. Knowing that you can't do everything on your own, shows superior intellect and wisdom. Encourage others to do the same.

4) When there are problems at home.....avoid home. Take up activities after school (sports, music, etc), join organizations that require a lot of your time and involvement, get a job ASAP. Stay away and let your parents scream at each other and not you.

5) When you finally get that job, save your money and move out on your own ASAP. Once out, go to college or start a career and move on with your life!

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel and yes I have felt like that before for multiply reasons, but you need to stop pointing fingers and looking for people to blame, especially yourself.

You are not to blame about whats happening between your parents, otherwise your name would have been in that message that you read. Whats going on between them is between them.

You just seemed really stressed. You should try to just find some time to reflect. Take a step back and look at the situation as a whole, the big picture. Now just sit there and thing of ways that you can solve the issue with problems having to deal with YOU, not your sister or your parents.

Death is not a solution. If it was really your time to go then it would have already happened, not because you chose it to happen but because of something else that you cant control. Don't make that mistake.

I hope things will work out for you.

Answer 6

First of all, your parents problems with each other is not your fault or your doing. As you can see, things are going really bad for your mom and dad and for not its best for you to just roll with the punches and wait it out.
Seriously. If you want to totally and completely DESTROY your family and RUIN THEIR LIVES FOREVER suicide is the way to do it. You say you don't want to do this and that's great. You are having problems because you are almost 15, but everyone else in the family is having problems too. Is a piano worth all this? No. Just be quiet and let your family do what they want to do. Get some really good friends outside the house. If it gets really bad you can talk to the school counselor and have somebody to give you some good feedback
Remember: you and your family are allowed to have problems and issues. Be sure you have a support system for YOU. Friends, counselors, Mom and Dad on certain things, even your sister on certain things.
Hang on there!
You will be OK!!
Eddie

Answer 7

Suicide is really the selfish way out. You need to go to both of your parents and talk with them together. Tell them how you fell and demand an answer. Yes even 14 year olds can demand an answer from their parents. If they care anything at all, they will talk with you. Tell them how it is affecting you, let them know how you feel, then if you still have a place to live, then you did good. Do you have grandparents? If so, tell them and see what they can do. You might be surprised what will happen if you are the one to open the lines of communication up between you and your parents. Good luck to you and remember, your just 15 and you do have the rest of your life ahead of you whether you realize it or not right now. Think about it.

Answer 8

I know sometimes life sucks. But "life" is a gift. Right now your life is troubled. But it is never bad enough to take your own life. Maybe you feel like you need to escape and there is no where to go. Believe me when I tell you I've been there. If you believe in God talk to Him. He'll hear you. Or talk to someone you trust. an aunt or a teacher. Anyone.Me.Us.There are a lot of people who care. Reach out to someone. Write down your feelings and thoughts on paper. Sometimes that helps. This bad time in your life will pass. You have so much to give as a human being. Even though it may not seem like it now, you have a purpose for being on this earth. Don't give up. Reach down deep inside yourself and fight for your life. This message is coming from someone who really cares.

Answer 9

I've gone through a lot in my 29 years on this earth. It is my honor to be able to try and help you with this b/c when I was your age I didn't have the Internet to turn to and was too embarrassed to seek help. A very good college friend of mine took his own life just under 3 years ago b/c he didn't think there was any hope for him to be happy. I had just recently lost my father when this happened and felt that my life was hopeless, that the people that cared most about me were leaving me. The fact of the matter is, and I'm not being religious or preaching but just stating my opinion, God tests only the ones he believes are truly strong enough to survive. What you're going through now will only make you a better person in the long run. I hope that you get this message and that you figure out that you're worth the time. Life can be very difficult, especially at your age, but don't give in. I have never been happier, but if I had given in at any time during my life when I felt things hopeless, I wouldn't be enjoying it now. Also I urge you to seek help from a professional if you can, but only if you're ready. It took me a long time to accept myself, but I'm glad I did and I believe that anyone can be happy, once they allow them self to be. I sincerely hope this helps and don't give up.

Answer 10

Bless your heart you are having a terrible day. You say you don't want to cause trouble for your family. However, if you commit suicide you almost assure it's destruction. Familys seem to blow apart after a child's suicide the pain of two parents is almost too much for one house. So, it would seem that you need to find another way to cope with these situations. You need to talk to the counselor at school and make them aware of your problems. Sometimes just talking to someone with a cooler head will help you refocus and get a better grip on the situation. Also, if your parents are having problems between them it has nothing to do with your behavior. They won't stay together for your or separate because of you, you are not responsible for keeping your family together. With regard to your sister you would be very unusual if she were not an extreme annoyance at your age. However, even she is not the sole cause of your unhappiness., Please talk to someone refocus your priorities and give yourself a chance to be a kid and have some fun.

Answer 11

It sounds like you are going through a very hard time right now and don't know where to turn. I'm sorry that you feel this. I want to let you know that it's okay to feel upset but it's important that you talk to someone that you trust. I know that you said you feel ashamed but there is nothing to ashamed about, everyone fights and everyone feels bad that's okay but again when you begin to have thoughts about killing yourself or feeling really bad about what is happening talking to someone like your school counselor could help. One of the things you mentioned is that you don't want your parents to feel bad or break up because of you. I want you to know that it is not your fault that your parents are not getting along right now. Speaking about your parents, how do you think they would feel if you killed yourself? I really do hope that you think about getting up hun. Good luck with everything and even though I know that you can't see it right now because you are upset but I promise that one day you will feel better if you just hold on.