Why isnt a man being raped a big deal , but a women getsraped it is?

Question

Well let me start of with i am 22 years old i was raped by to 2 men at the age of 20, It started off i was a party and i was drinking but not to much these 2 guys came up to me and started talking to me, we just sit there and laugh away, i had only drunk 2 drink and i beging to start feeling weird, it was told i should go lay down, so i was walked upstairs and went to lay down, and then i pass out i then woke up i believe a couple hours later and i was naked on the floor with rope around my neck black eye bruised up and feeling well very differant, i knew something had happended i noticed i was bleeding from behind and all i could do is sit there and cry, later that night i was home still crying and crying i tried to take my life that night, but talked my self out of it I did nothing wrong, the next day i took my self to the hospital later to find out i was drugged the night b4, i was led to believe no serious crime was done cause i had lil info so i figured what the point of saying

something, i then just tried to forget about it was hard but i still get memories from that night just lil glimpses of what happened to me. i use to blame myself for what happened, they did more then rape me they too my virginity and really messed me up i the head. Why is it that guy raped really aint talked about?

I believe Men go mentally what a Women does when they get raped

My friends tell me i should do something all i have are hospital records and pictures. But i figured all they would say is he is gay he probally liked it, it messed me up so bad mentally and physical. I loss my self control just be being violated and not knowing what I should do.

Answer 1

well i think that if anyone gets raped it's something soooo serious but i guess people don't see guys getting raped like something so serious maybe because it's mostly girls that get raped and also because i think guys have way more trouble talking about such things because many men have way to much pride and to say they got raped wouldn't be so cool feel me. But i feel really bad about what happen to you. I never got raped before but i could have gotten raped many times by someone close to me but it just never got to that point. and i thank God. but yea for some reason i'm very sensitive when it comes to stories about people getting rapped. i hear songs and listen to people tell me stories about such things or even see a movie and it hurts me so much to hear about people getting rapped especially little children. it feels like it was done to me but i guess God gave me that sensitivity so that i can talk to people and try to help them cope. but idk. You need Jesus in your life thats the only that ur gonna be able to cope and be renewed and restore from the past. God can free you from all things cause he did it to me. if you wanna talk email me my address is [e-mail]. God Bless you.

Answer 2

What a stupid conversation. First off, it doesn't matter the sex of the rapist...rape is rape. And yes, women can rape men, it might be more difficult for the average woman to forcibly engage in intercourse with the average man given the appr. 50 lb. weight advantage of the average man, but the standard deviation of human sexual dimorphism does overlap, especially when the male is not fully developed and the female is. Besides, physical coercion is only one of the methods a rapist can use to coerce a person into sexual intercourse against his or her will. The concept that rape is ONLY rape when a man uses physical strength and violence to assault a woman sexually, such as with a home intruder, has been debunked, and, ironically, this debunking was championed by the very same women's rights activists that now assert that male rape is not as serious of an issue because the use of physical violence is not as prevalent, unless of course if the rapist is another man in which case they could care less. Secondly, do you think a person who is raped be that a man or woman would take ANY comfort in knowing that their sex is raped more or less than the other?

Answer 3

this is a big deal and it is wrong. you were violated and the people who did it should be found and charged. please get some help do not committ suidice, that is not the answer. you need serious councelling and maybe some treatment for depression. there are medications for that. it would help to call a rape crisis center they can give you some really good information. if you ever see these two men again call the police and prosecute.
i hope you filed a police report. if not go talk to someone in the police dept. the hospital should have tried to collect some evidence from you. there is usually a sex crimes unit who may have other men that this has happened to. i don't ever drink anything i do not see poured by the bartender.

Answer 4

A male being raped isn't discussed as frequently because it happens less often than to females, and many have the idea that a guy can't actually be raped (because they don't understand how it can happen).

I'm sorry to hear your story, and it's an ugly double standard that had you been female, the law would've been all over that issue but as a guy, they treat you like "bummer" but don't take any real action or at least consider it the serious crime it is, whether or not anyone is ever caught/convicted for it.

I hope your emotional healing is progressing.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry about what you went through. It's really brave and commendable that you have come forward with your story. The reason why people don't think a man being raped is a big deal is because of the double-standard society placed on us. The woman is seen as a weak individual who can't take care of herself and when she's victimized, people are quick to offer sympathy. The man is seen as a strong individual who can hold his own. When he's victimized, people are quick to label him as gay and asking for it. That's why a number of men who are raped don't come forward to report it because the stigma is worse for them than it is for women. If more men came forward with their stories, the stigma and double-standard will be broken.

I hope you're seeing a counselor for this and hope that you know that THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. I wish you the best in all you do. Many blessings.

Answer 6

Well I have to say I believe it is a big deal but it doesn't happen as often and therefore people don't care as much. Also alot of people think if a man was raped it was by a woman and he should have been able to defend himself. I'm sorry you went through this and I hope you know now its not your fault. Its rather disgusting that a peson could do this to another person. As a woman I for one stand up and agree, why isn't it a big deal?

Answer 7

It's terrible what happened to you and I think it's as bad as the same thing happening to a woman. Being drugged makes it even worse. I would suggest talking to a psychologist about it. Many people have seen the benefits of psychology in similar situations. Above all you must know that you did nothing wrong and this is not your fault by any means. Have you talked to your family and friends about it? I think you could use their support. If you haven't done it yet please do it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Take care and keep your chin up. You are very young and life has a lot of good things to offer you :-)

Answer 8

Rape is serious no matter which gender it happens to. It takes away your control, your pride, even your identity sometimes. I think it might even be a little more difficult for a man because it takes away their "manliness" to a certain extent. You should definitely seek counseling to get you through this. Noone deserves to go through something like this alone. You never know, you may end up speaking about men who have been raped in order to help other people. Fight for new laws that will take man rape more seriously.

Answer 9

WHO led you to believe that no serious crime was committed?! that person needs to be reported to his or her authority. rape is a damn serious crime, no matter the victim. also, victims are often unable to give information about the event. although that might make an arrest difficult, that doesn't mean you shouldn't have been taken seriously. did you file a report with the police?

i'm sorry for what happened to you. please talk to someone who can help you.

Answer 10

I really feel for you it is very wrong for a man to get raped. Esepiically by another man, you really should of put presser on the police to pursue you case. what they did to you was illegal, both of them boys should be lock up don't let them bet you down you are better a person then them because you didn't let them take your life, and god sees all, and he did see what they did two you. be strong and keep your head high.