When I am hurt by someone, I take it very personally. Even if the person apologizes and might actually truly be sorry, I have a hard time "letting it go". I won't talk about it or argue about it, but I'll keep it in my heart. Any advice on how I can free my mind and soul of such negative feelings? How does one learn to truly forgive? I've tried prayer, but maybe I haven't tried hard enough.
2007-03-16 09:13:36 · 4 answers · asked by JOURNEY 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Good question.... There are only two things I know about this.
1) The truly enlightened do not carry around such pettiness.
and
2) I ain't that enlightened yet.
Here's a little story I think of when I consider this subject though....
--Obessessed
Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.
As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!"
"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."--
2007-03-16 09:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by Shaman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I find it helpful, if I manage somehow to shift my focus away from my own feelings to the needs and situation of the person that hurt me.
If I pray, it helps not to focus on the grudge I'm bearing and my troubles to forgive, but try to pray about what that person might need and want. Sometimes that even resulted in me wanting to help that person out or doing something nice for them. And then I know, I really have forgiven.
Another approach that helps me, is trying to relate to that person who hurt you in a way not related with that grudge. For example, if a colleague annoys me at work, but I happen to meet him/her later at a party, where we can happily agree on the quality of a certain food - I find it much easier to forgive the former discord or the snappy comment.
2007-03-16 16:45:33 · answer #2 · answered by LGM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That "hurt" that you feel could be a defense mechanism for lack of trust in the one that hurt you. Time will heal, just try to keep your grudge to yourself and work on it if you really know you should be the forgiving one. Soon enough you will find that the "grudge" moves on.
2007-03-16 16:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by Denise D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let it go. chill. if u are friends with that person maybe they are truely sorry. but of course keep it in the back of your mind so that if it happens again you really do have a reason to be mad at them.
2007-03-16 16:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋