How can you tell if your friend is actually a true or phony friend?

Question

How can you tell if your friend is actually a true or phony friend?
I have a friend and known him for about 6 years.
Now, I'm not so sure if he is actually a real friend or someone who's trying to use me..... Every time when he comes to find me, he wants me to either give him a ride or when his other friends aren't around. I have this feeling that he's trying to use me or manipulate me. I'm also interested in finding some new friends... but somehow it always seems like the new friends I've made aren't actually true friends, but phony friends who wants to use me....
Can anyone tell me how I can find out if he is a true friend or a phony friend? How hard is it to actually find a true friend? What are your ways of finding a real friend?
Suggestions and advice will be appreciated
Serious and mature answers please... if not then don't even bother to post.

What is the best way to find a new real best friend?
Is there any specific way to find out if he is a true friend?

Answer 1

Trust your instincts...unless he proves otherwise. Think about what you enjoy doing and join a club that enjoys doing the same thing(s). It's hard to find good friends so just try and be a good friend and you'll attract good friends. Don't hold on to less then what you want in a person ... force them to be better to you by being better to yourself.

Answer 2

I believe that a true friend is someone that is there for you no matter what. If the only time you're good enough is when they want something or their other friends aren't around they are a phony friend. Yes you are being used. To find out if they are a true friend I guess you could try not doing what they want. If they get mad and go away they are using you and that's not a friend. I try to be there for them when they need me. But not just for rides or money. I know it isn't any fun to be used it makes you feel really insecure. You have to look for people that enjoy your company and doing things together. That to me is a real friend. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

I have been in a position similar to yours. A person I care very much about would treat me the same as you have described. It must be considered that we had been friends for a year or so, then 'were together' as the term goes, for about a year. I still care very much about this person, despite the fact that we have grown very much apart. But, a true friend is with you thick and thin. They do not treat you as a temporary source of entertainment, talking to you only when they desire or when other friends are not around. But just because you are not the person's best friend, doesn't mean they do not value you. I can not say whether this person is using you or not, I am not aware of the circumstances of your lives, but, if you are truly serious about finding true friends, consider yourself. Be honest, and respectful, be kind, and outgoing. Trust and respect for no reason other than the simple truth is that they, too, are other people. But true friends are often those who are waiting for us to notice them, always there to help you when you fall, always the ones who will tell you things like 'hey, stupid, wake up! You can't throw yourself into this mess!' A true friend will come along, if he/she is not already there, waiting. Be you, a good person. Much luck I wish thee, traveler, and should ever our paths cross again, The Lost Ranger will lend an ear and tell you his tales. May the Stars light your path....

Answer 4

Don't give them a ride and don't make an effort to do anything with them and see what happens. Do they still invite you places without you being their ride? Do they still call? Do they still visit? Another way is to actually tell them what you told us. See what they say. Are they apologetic? Do they get mad at you? It seems to me that you are mature. So if they get mad at you, is that someone you really want to have a relationship with? Someone you can't talk to without them getting mad, at you? Mature people can handle differences, they don't avoid them.

Friends are hard to come by. Its not that there aren't good people out there, its just that as you get older you have less time. People have kids, work, etc. etc. etc. Seriously though like Dan Akroyd said in a movie, "The best way to make friends is show interest in them."

Where to meet people and/or where to meet people of common interests. You could join some sort of organization, the list is endless. What do you like to do? I could direct you better if I knew that.

Answer 5

I am a loner, always have been. I do have 2 close friends though.One way you can tell if they are a true friend is by the way they speak to you. Also, if they are a true friend they listen to you and the advice they give you should be legal. If they are always asking you for things and never reciprocate then you know they are using you. Try this, tell them something that is suppose to be a secret and see if you hear it from someone else. if you do, then they are not your friend. just make up something, don't tell them a real secret.

Answer 6

Im afraid your not going to find a whole lot of "true" friends in this world that arnt related to you. As Ive gotten older (39) I find that the truest friends Ive ever had (and as goofy as this sounds NOW to you, you'll realize I was right later) are my parents, brother and certain cousins and my husband. You need to be best friends with your spouse above and beyond all. Don't worry about it so much, people who arnt related to you will more than likely use you.

Answer 7

it is hard or nearly impossible to find a perfect friend ( as no one is perfect) ,but you can find a friend who really cares for you and who is really ready to help not expecting you to reward him. how can you find the right one? .. it is not so hard there must be someone who is suitable for you.
Do not bother if that person who always wants a ride if he is a friend or not just continue loving him and help as much as you can no matter what he really is..........?

Answer 8

A true friend will always be there for you in the good and bad time!

Answer 9

if u talk to them alot give them kinda a quiz about u dont tell them its a quiz. but like during your conversation say. wanna go to dinner at my favorite restaurant if they dont know give them some more questions and if they dont know kick them 2 the curb

Answer 10

be with him or her for 12 months and you will find out on your own....Caring,honest, helps in good and bad time, makes you share feelings, shares his/her feeing and YOU have GEM for you.

Its 1 in 10000 whom you can freind with as freinds are virtually hard to find!