I have been married for 7 years next month and I have a 5 year old son. About 2 years ago my husband filed for divorce behind my back because we weren't getting along like we should. We decided to make it work and move on. I just found out this week that I am pregnant and I really want this baby. He on the other hand does not want another child. He keeps telling me that our relationship isn't as stable as it should be to bring a baby into the world. He said that everything seems to be going good between us and now this his tearing us apart. I am totally against abortions and I feel that if I keep my baby; I am going to lose him because he is so against me having it. I don't know why we can't continue to grow as a family with this baby. I gave up everything and moved to a different state to marry and be with him. I have absolutely no family here for support. Am I being unrealistic? I really need some advice and not any smart comments because I'm not doing well emotionally! thank you
2007-03-16 08:48:06 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I personally believe you should never kill unborn babies no matter what. Killing unborn humans is totally unacceptable to me.
2007-03-16 08:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 8⤋
You moved out of state to get married, wasn't that 7 years ago? I am sure you have made friends throughout the years. A support system does not only have to be with family, nor does it have to be big. Sometimes one good person is all you need.
In your situation I would not recommed abortion. There is nothing wrong if this is what you choose to do, but it has to be done for the right reasons. If you want the baby and your husband doesn't and threatens to leave if you do, then your husband is not worth keeping. My neighbor went through this and ended up aborting it, also hopeing to strengthen the relationship.Well here she is one year later saving her money so she can leave by summer with her daughter and son. She is miserable at the thought of what she let him talk her into. She had a very hard time even looking at my baby (we would have been pregnant together). Dealing with abortion can be hard by itself, but when coupled with the fact that you want the baby, it's impossible.
There would be support for you if needed it. Either look to see who is available in your life presently (you may be surprised). Join a church, synagog, etc. whatever your religious affiliation. Join a support group such as Parents Without Partners, etc. You will soon find yourself with a huge support group. The most important thing however is to do what you think and feel is right. Because no matter what you do and who is around you cannot run away from your own guilt. Do not confuse an idealistic situation with the realistic one.
2007-03-16 09:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this is not a situation in which abortion should be an option. The only time you should consider it is if the pregnancy will endanger your life, it was a rape or if the baby is going to die anyway.
Right now, if he doesn't want the child, look into putting the baby up for adoption. You always have the choice to change your mind then. Talk to him about this. He is being incredibly selfish right now. He's a grown man and should know that having unprotected sex is going to lead to a baby sooner or later, and asking you to get rid of it which will more than likely leave you feeling guilty forever and ever is just plain wrong.
If you two are having problems this bad, get into some marriage counseling. Get some help. Don't take it out on the little life inside of you.
2007-03-16 09:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is not the answer...He is being very selfish right now and not looking into your feelings...u are stressed and emotional now,how do u think u will feel once u abort your baby? I highly suggest u keep this baby no matter what this guy tells you. You and his relationship is not promised and u could break up tomorrow for another reason,and then u would have aborted your baby for a man that isnt even around anymore.Your baby is promised to you forever and will love u unconditionally unlike this man u claim to be in love with. If u want this baby,keep this baby..I know girls who highly regret aborting and have not been able to have more children and whom are sooo depressed now. With my first pregnancy everyone including my mom told me to get an abortion because they did not like my babys father..u think i listened to them? hell no!! this was my baby,my body and my life and noone was going to tell me what to do with it..your body is your temple and no man can make u do something u dont want to do...
Bringing a baby into this world has nothing to do with you and him getting along..why would u abort your unborn baby because u arent getting along right now? he is being itiotic...that is not a reason at all. If this guy is telling u to abort his own child growing within your womb chances are he does not love you like u think he does. I would never terminate my pregnancy because of a selfish guy. U can get him for child support after this baby is born if anything...U dont need this from him and u need the love of this baby...your son im sure would love to have a little brother or sister...please think about this and dont make a selfish mistake for a man...let us know how everything goes...
good luck!
2007-03-16 09:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel as though you never know what has been placed into your womb. Could be the next cure for cancer or the cure for aids. This baby is a gift from God and even though your husband does not see it yet he will realize it too. God does not make any mistakes nor should we try to make things fit our agenda. This is life you are carrying that did not ask to come here. If you lose him find, you lost him along time ago and the baby is not the reason why. If you need time, call up some family and ask to come and stay for awhile just so you can get you mind together. Take your other child too. I know you probably feel scared and confused but don't fret. Keep him or her and realize that this baby is a reflection of how much God loves you cause he has placed one of his precious little ones in your care. Eat well, rest, and pray. Let go and Let God.
2007-03-16 08:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by Shawnese D 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, an no one shuld have to make this decision. You have to do what YOU want to do. If you don't want to have an abortion, it will probably wreck your relationship if you do because you will have been forced into an action involving your body that you did not agree with. I really think that he needs to take responsibility for the child he helped you create, and he needs to support you in this time. If he can do this, the two of you will probably be closer than ever by the time your baby is born! If not...you have to ask yourself how much he cares, anyway. If he would leave you for having the baby you both created and you want so badly, what kind of husband is he? Maybe you could ask him if he wishes your first child had been aborted too...of course he'll say no...and explain to him that this isn't a "problem" that you need to get rid of; it is another wonderful child like the one you already have who will enrich both of your lives and strengthen your relationship.
Just don't do anything YOU'RE not comfortable with. It's YOUR body, not his...and ultimately your decsion. If you are forced into a decision you aren't comfortable with, you will resent him and regret the decision for the rest of your life. My heart goes out to you. I really do wish you all the luck and happiness in the world...and I hope you make the best decision for YOU and that he will find the decency and love within himself to support you.
2007-03-16 09:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by grayhare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will regret an abortion for the rest of your life. If I were you, I would resent a man who wanted me to kill our child... ESPECIALLY if we were married for 7 years, and had another child together. I would tell him that you are not going to have an abortion and if the marriage doesn't survive, then it wouldn't have anyway. Kids don't tear people apart...people being selfish tears people apart. I understand that you may feel a little weak, but there are better solutions to your problem than killing your baby. Picture how much you will regret and resent not only him but yourself if you kill this baby.
If he ends things because you choose to have the baby, then move home with your family and be where people love and support you.
I'm sorry you are going through this, but now that you are pregnant, it isn't about you or him, it's about what is best for your children.
good luck!
2007-03-16 08:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by katiebug 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your husband is being so inconsiderate - I really believe you should not have an abortion - I have no problem with abortion in the right circumstances, but even in those situations when the woman really doesn't want the baby she is seriously emotionally scarred... if you do want the baby, you may never get over it. If your husband can't accept a child because of the state your relationship is in, he has to get his priorities straight. I hope he comes around, but if not, maybe you'd be best to move back to your family for additional help.
Good luck, let me know how things turn out!
brutusscopperbean@yahoo.ca
2007-03-16 08:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all abortion should be out of the question no matter what your husband says that baby is your flesh and blood who needs you. Besides have you ever seen an abortion on an ultra sound not a pretty picture very emotional, they say the baby can't feel anything but they are wrong it shows the little tiny fetus trying to get away while they rip their arm off their leg off whatever it's pure torture I don't think people really understand that abortion is murder and the people who do are sick trust me if you have and abortion you will somehow somewhere regret it. That's your little baby inside you look at the son you already have could you ever imagine your life without him or even the thought of ripping him piece by piece out of you. There is a real live baby inside of you no matter how little he/she is the baby's looks facial features are all ready going to be. Please don't
2007-03-16 09:16:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your situation, even if it would be easier, could you really go through with an abortion? I think you would regret it for the rest of your life and that if would probably do a lot more harm than good. You are not being unrealistic - if he didn't want any more children, he should have gotten fixed. This is his child also, if he does leave, I would move back home to family and go through with the divorce. If he filed behind your back once - I wouldn't belive another word he says. Take care of your self and your children - that is what is most important. Good Luck!
2007-03-16 08:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by mel m 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
.I really dont think you should give up a baby that will love you unconditionally for a man that is basically giving you an ultimatum. I would boot my husband out the door before having an abortion. You will regret it forever and you will also have bad feelings towards your husband after doing something like that. Please just keep your baby. The baby is honestly worth alot more than a husband that you have almost lost anyways. I see how you dont understand how or why he is thinking the way he does, because sometimes I just dont get my husbands way of thinking either, and I love my husband so much, but if he said any of that to me.......I wouldnt care. I would keep my child.
2007-03-16 08:56:20 · answer #11 · answered by Blondi 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋