if I would change, not saying I'm perfect but I'm not anal like he is. Also he always thinks someone (me included) is trying to get him. Should I stay?
2007-03-16 08:34:13 · 2 answers · asked by Tamm 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is your husband and you married him for better or for worse so you should stay and try to talk to him and even go to councelling together so you can solve all your problems
2007-03-18 02:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Should I stay?"
That's what you should have asked yourself before you walked down the aisle.
You used a lot of loaded words in your post -- things like "very controlling," "problematic," and "anal." Now, there are some situations where being controlling can be very dangerous in a relationship. However, it's all based on your perspective, honestly.
You may consider him asking you to make him dinner to be "controlling," but from your post, there's no way to know if this is what you mean, or if he's chaining you to the stove and only letting you sleep two hours a night.
You may consider him calling you twice a day "anal," whereas other women may find that endearing. Is it that, or does he pick out what you wear in the morning or never let you take a shower that's longer than five minutes?
Many of these things can be worked out through open, honest communication. And whereas a "problematic past" shouldn't be an excuse for mistreating your spouse, you do realize that you married him, baggage and all.
If you feel at all threatened physically, get out immediately and find someplace to stay while he gets help. Otherwise, look for a counselor or pastor in your area to be a mediator and help you talk through these expectation issues.
Good luck!
2007-03-17 11:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋