lately i've been feeling as though my fiance has been taking advantage of what i do for her, i want her to be happy, but it seems that i'm the only one who is putting forth the most effort...any advice?
2007-03-16 07:48:11 · 21 answers · asked by Chris P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
COMMUNICATE.
I have been married now for 5 years and the most important aspect of a relationship, and the one that will sustain you through whatever crap life dishes out, is the art of good communication.
Approach her with a good attitude and let her know that you have some concerns about the give and take in your relationship. Explain that you want your upcoming marriage to be a 50/50 partnership and ask her what that means to her.
If you go in with your guns drawn, your going to start a fight...and that's not prodcutive. Just let her know that working on things before they become an issue is a good practice to begin b4 the nuptials.....
Good Luck.....
add some more info to your question to get more direct answers...or IM me of you need more help.
2007-03-16 07:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your fiancee is really taking advantage of you, it is best that you talk to her and tell her how you feel. At this stage, it is imperative that you communicate with your other half and do not avoid confrontation. The engagement period is like an orientation before married life. Communicate effectively and there shouldn't be any arguments. Avoid raising your voice or bringing up the past. Focus on the key point and you won't go wrong.
2007-03-16 07:53:51 · answer #2 · answered by MimiUdang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships that are based upon obligation and expectation fail. There must be mutually beneficial interaction...giving and receiving. Unfortunately in most relationships there are the Givers and there the Receivers. The continual givers get to where you are at: Fed up because their needs are being neglected. This is actually healthy on your behalf. You must before this gets way out of hand, and becomes a habit, sit down and talk with your partner and come up with a solution that is mutually beneficial for both of you.
2007-03-16 07:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better to find out now than when the ring is on the finger, things will not get better and chances are they will only get worse as far as putting forth effort. I suggest you sit down and have a little chit chat with fiance. Remember it is a two way street both have to give in order to receive. Some of us give a lot and get little in return others give little and get a lot. find your happy medium.
2007-03-16 07:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by mellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her a healthy relationship takes effort on both sides- tell her what you are feeling and how you are seeing things.
Remind her that a relationship is based on a giving and receiving, and your doing the giving but you are not receiving.
Remember now she is your fiance- what will happen if she becomes your wife- You have to fix your problems now because later it will be worst.
2007-03-16 07:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by Taz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is a very common thing in long term relationships, someone always feels that they do more, put forth more effort, pay more of the bills, ect. The best thing to do is to talk to her about it. If you dont the resentment is only going to build and you may end up saying or doing something that you regret.
2007-03-16 07:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
An engagement is like a test drive for marriage. You want to be very sure that you are right for each other before stepping up to the altar together. Marriages that last are about giving 100% for your spouse, not 50% or 75%. It sounds like you may have different ideas about expectations in marriage, or that she is unaware of your expectations of what marriage is about. I would suggest pre-marital counseling, preferrably church-based, to provide both of you with a common foundation to build on. When you approach her about the counseling, suggest that you want to go to counseling to insure that you build a stronger relationship and learn to love each other more completely.
2007-03-16 08:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by Eddie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy I am with you. It wasn't that way before I was married. But ever since the ring went on. The entire household would come crashing down without my income an help around the house.
2007-03-16 07:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah dont get involved by marriage to someone you are even kinda second guessing it is way fricking billion times more complicated to undue that document then what it takes to create it. If you want her to be happy prepare yourself or anticipate that whatever makes her happy is something you will do. She may just be telling you that is the attention she expects dont assume anything listen closely when she is silent....communicating shhh listen ....good luck !!! S'gape
2007-03-16 07:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get this "Not talking about things."
You need to talk with her... say "hey sweetie, lately I've been feeling like ........ then whatever you have to say."
She may surprise you and say... "Thanks for bringing it to my attention!" If she does and she works to change, and you guys can do this cleanly and lovingly, you've got a good thing going, if not... and she's like "To heck with you.." maybe things aren't worth the effort.
2007-03-16 11:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋