My parents have been fighting for years, i has gotten really bad the past 4 or 5 months. This has happened before and they got over it, but not for long. My dad is being a complete jerk to me. Everytime i do one little thing wrong he yells at me although he has never hit me it still hurts. My mom wants to get a divorce and i want them to get a divorce also i think it would be better for the whole family. My dad doesnt want the divorce and he is doing everything he can to get us to stay. My mom wants to talk to him tonight about how he has been acting toward me and her but i dont know if i want to. i dont know what im going to say...i could speak from my heart but i find it really hard to talk to my dad. i used to consider him my best friend but now he yells at me daily and isnt home when he is in a good mood.
I really dont know what to do. things are horrible here, there are arguements daily and then my mom gets hurt (not phyisicly). I almost want them to get a divorce. what do i do?
2007-03-16 07:47:06 · 16 answers · asked by Rissa! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also 13 and my mom has been telling me everything that is going on between them. She trusts me. My dad doesnt know that she is telling me this stuff. and he doesnt want her to tell me but he thinks this is in my best intrest.
2007-03-16 08:00:26 · update #1
Talk to him from your heart. It may be that he knows he is losing the both for you and doesn't know what to do. So gets get mad at himself but takes it out on you and your mom. So PLEASE talk to him before it is to late. Because my father passed away 6 years ago and there are a lot of things that I wished that I could have told him.
2007-03-16 08:03:50 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have they been to marriage counseling? Have y'all been to counseling as well? Is your dad having more stress at work, maybe with a new boss or a new project? Maybe you need to go to your dad and tell him, "Dad, do you remember how we used to talk all the time? We don't talk anymore and I think we need to." Do it on neutral ground. The park or the zoo or something. Tell him how all the fighting is bothering you and your family real bad. Tell him you know that what goes on between him and your mom is their business, but some of the attitude is affecting the rest of you. Tell him you miss having him as your best friend. And if he does talk, be there to listen.
2007-03-16 15:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by sassynsweet1221 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How could he not appreciate your honesty. If I were you, I'd print out what you have shared here, and give it to your dad. You are tired of talking and tired of being yelled at. Unless your father is seriously deranged, he should understand that.
I hope that your mom is financially capable of taking care of you and her without his help, because money may be the motivation behind him refusing divorce, or at least separation.
Also, your dad cannot stop you and your mom from moving out, so the ball is in your mom's court, if she is financially capable of leaving.
Good Luck!
2007-03-16 14:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by Aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you say that! why would you want your dad to be out of the picture? maybe there is more going on that you don't know about and it has nothing to do with your dad at all like why is he so upset all the time why is he arguing with your moms all the time did something happen between them that you know nothing about? you need to stay out of it and try to stay out of your dads way for a while cant you go stay with a friend or relative for a while while your parents work this out?
2007-03-16 14:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by notyochic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree you all need to sit down & talk. it sounds like your an only child. and since your a child, your additional details in the question make me wonder if your mom should be sharing everything that is going on, with you. keeping you informed is fine, but this is their situation, you will always be their child and the split isnt your fault at all. your mom needs to communicate with you and you need to share your feelings with her. but she shouldnt be putting you inthe situation of knowing too much and then pretending to your dad that she hasnt todl you. this is unfair to you, gets confusing, and sooner or later something is going to slip out. even if they divorce you will always belong to both and will have to learn that if it isn't amicable in the end, your relations with your mom stay separate from those with your dad. its tough, i know.
2007-03-16 19:31:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is basically a decision the two of them need to make. You, as a third party, even though you are the child, should not get in the middle of their problems. The best thing you can do is suggest that they seek counseling to try to work out their problems.
2007-03-16 14:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by don n 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of all go to Jesus in prayer. Tell you dad how you feel, this argueing is hurting you. Tell your mom she has no authority from God to end the marraige, if she even cares.
Sounds like a time apart can be the right answer for now, not for dating other people!
your parents need to realise they took vows and need to be commited, or they will teach you to only run away from your problems in life and that's not right.
2007-03-16 15:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly think that all three of you need to sit down and have a very serious conversation with all of you there. That way all the feelings get out in the open and you can hear first hand what is all said and in which way it was mean. Talking does wonders.
2007-03-16 15:02:26 · answer #8 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know your feelings coz i tried it ,listen 2 me u cant decide from your self whats going on with ur dad and divorce is not the good issue will solve ur problem ,try to talk to your dad and tell him what you are really feelings and tell him that i always want to marry a guy treat me good so if he see u treating me bad he will do the same ,iam your daughter and one day will come i will leave the home so let us be a happy family coz i dreamt of it..beileve me these words will let him wake his feelings up..good luck
2007-03-16 14:53:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your mom should leave this guy before she ends up hurt badly and before you end up getting hurt.violent men never change...even if you have to get a restraining order on him you will all be better off without the anger.if you and your mom feel you are in danger then she doesnt need him to approve the divorce.it will hurt because he was your dad but its better than being abused everyday. i have seen stupid women stay with men like that and it never ends good.
2007-03-16 14:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by emmabugg 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋