Why do black women get jealous when a black man dates a caucasion woman?

Question

As you can see from my avatar, that I am an AA female. However, I have noticed that several females in my race get very jealous of interacial relationship. For example, I have a friend from Slovakia and she is dating a Black Man. All the other black girls are very jealous of the couple, when I think it is beautiful that these two have come together. This particular guy is not the stereotypical black man who wears his pants sagging and talks slang. He is really nice. It upsets me to see other black females being rude to this couple even though they know if he was availible.. they would not go for him because he is not the "stereotypical black man". It seems to me that some black females don't want to see anyone else happy.

Please do not say that I am one who hates their own race bc it is untrue. I have just seen these problems within my race for the longest and wonder why this continues to go on. I don't have a lot of black friend bc they see me as being too white!

I have also noticed that within the black culture there is the crab in the barrel saying. You know, where once an African American becomes successful other african americans will try to pull him down.. (hence crab barrels metaphor) I am very proud to be an African American, but I notice that I do not fit in with my culture when it comes to music and behavior, so therefore I am automatically labeled as being an Uncle Tom. I have even had people tell me that there is no way that I will every marry a black man bc of my behavior.

To Melville.. NO I AM NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.. I AM SECURE WITH MYSELF AND ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP. I HAVE THE RIGHT AS A HUMAN BEING TO GET OPINIONS FROM OTHERS IF I CHOOSE. LIKE THEY SAY.. IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE.. THEN KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

TO CHOCO DREAM: NO I AM NOT MAKING GENERALIZATIONS ABOUT OUT PEOPLE. I HAVE DEALT WITH THIS ISSUE AND BEEN AROUND IT FOR SEVERAL YEARS. NO, I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL BLACK FEMALES FEEL THIS WAY, BUT I DO KNOW HOW THINGS ARE TYPICALLY VIEWED. I AM FROM THE SOUTH, AND I GO TO A COLLEGE THAT IS ABOUT HALF AND HALF WHEN IT COMES TO BOTH CAUCASION AND BLACK, AND THE MINUTE THAT A BLACK MAN DATES OR BEFRIENDS FEMALES OF A DIFF. RACE, ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. I AM NOT SAYING THAT STATISTICALLY, I AM CORRECT, BUT I HAVE SEEN AND EXPERIENCED IT FOR MYSELF. I ALSO HAVE SEEN WHITE GIRLS GET PATRONIZED BC OF THEIR DECISION, AND WHEN IT ALL BOILS DOWNS IT IS JEALOUSY. ARE ALL BLACK WOMEN JEALOUS WHEN A BLACK GUY DATES A WHITE GIRL.. OF COURSE NOT, BUT THE MAJORITY DOES. ALSO, MY ARGUMENT WITH THE CRABS IN THE BARREL IS RELEVANT TO THIS DAY. OUR PEOPLE NEVER WANT TO BUILD EACH OTHER UP, AND THAT IS RELEVANT BC LOOK WHO IS BELOW THE POVERTY LINE. SO, YOU NEED TO CHECK YOURSELF!

Answer 1

Based on the situation that you described, one thing appears to be self-evident to me. Some black women get jealous when a black man dates a caucasian woman because they feel like another white woman- regardless of how good or nice she is, is stealing another one of the "few good black men". You're right, he isnt the stereotypical black male because truthfully, if he was, she wouldnt be dating him.

I personally dont think anything when I see interracial couples. I think its great that people could look past skin. The thing is, when most people date, they date for fun, for looks, and some personality, but not everyone dates someone they would marry. But when it comes time to look for someone to get serious, everyone scrambles to find a "good person" and leave all the immature types that they dated behind. Hence the issue of them not liking him if he was available.

There are a lot of problems that should be resolved within our race but it begins with you. Just show more love than hate and you'll be rewarded- trust me.

Answer 2

In this country, the selection of Black men these women would be proud to call their husband is decreasing. More and more black men are either in jail, homosexual or dead. It's natural for people to want to be with someone they're more comfortable with. You mentioned something that Black women need to understand. You suggested that if this Black man was single, he wouldn't have gotten the time of day because he doesn't come off like the gangsta rappers. Black men are going to look for a WOMAN who's going to be in their corner, good, bad or ugly. If that woman happens to be of another persuasion who's not nagging him to keep up with the Jones or calling some man into the home with a gun (the police), he's going for her. Now compound THAT with the fact many Black men are leaving the churches and flocking to the masjids, becoming Muslims. Most times, they're marrying Muslim women (Who may or may not be Black). I'm not saying people should settle, that's a bad mistake, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Hope this helped and not too wordy ;]

Answer 3

Im sorry but I have to agree with the black women who dislike it. For a long time in the black community, we have viewed the white woman as a sacred being. For example back during the slave days a black man could be killed for even looking at a white woman because white men thought that their women were superior and the black man saw her as off limits. But now that its more acceptable to interracially date, black men are taking advantage of this and dating white women (the ones who were out of reach). Black women get upset by this because seeing an interracial couple especially a black man with a white woman condones that old steretype or stigma that white women are better than their own.

So yeah, people say that its beautiful to intermix and all that kumbya ya ****, but theres a history behind it that is not so pleasant.

Answer 4

It could be that as black women we feel its a slap in the face and a rejection of the woman that had you and is a blatant in your face I prefer this to you and I will do for her what I will never do for you. Don't worry sense black woman want a man to do for her what black men won't she has decided that she will receive love from whomever loves her whether they are of another race makes no difference. But some black women want black men only and they see any deflection as a sign of betrayal. It will happen until the world stops turning I think every race has a problem with their people going to another race but it is especially hard with blacks having the history that they have here in the good ole USA.

Answer 5

What ? There are so many things wrong with what you just said/typed. You're making so many generalizations about your own people, it's beyond sad. "Several females in my race get jealous". Of what? Of interracial relationships? How you reached that conclusion, I don't even want to know, but I highly doubt that's the case. They may be ignorant, but I jealous, probably not.

And what was that about the stereotypical black man, "sagging his pants" and talking slang? What are you trying to say? I don't know where you live, but where I'm from, only teenagers sag their pants (teens of all races, btw). And everyone speaks some kind of slang; not just black men.

And yet again...how do you know what these females would do if he was available? Maybe they would go for him, maybe not. But you're saying black women only go for the stereotypical black man. The black man who, from what you say, only sags his pants and talks slang? Wow...

"It seems to me that some black females don't want to see anyone else happy." ---That statement there...Im not even going to go there. Needless to say, you need to check yourself.

Answer 6

They get just as mad when they see me with my husband who is white. A lot of them think I think i'm better because i've got a white man. The black men really give me dirty looks. It's all brainwashing and lack of self-esteem and it's not just the blacks. White women look at me too when they see me with my husband because he's not some dumpy white dude. The man is fine. White guys have turned out to the the most accepting of our relationship. Wonder why??

Answer 7

first off i will not say anything aganist you becasue i dont ahve a reason to. for me personally, i dont get jealous of a black man with a white woman, but it just gets to me a little when i see mixed couples together, because people were killed for things like that. have you ever seen the picture of emmet till? a 14 yr old boy who was severly beat because he so called looked at a white woman. i think black is beautiful and i could never date anything else. i dont feel that other black women are jaelous of white women, i think they just feel why cant he date a black woman?

Answer 8

The ones that do are ignorant or immature; enough said

And all that stuff about "being too white", welp, I'm pretty much the same as you and I have never had that problem

Answer 9

girl, i hear you. but please don't think that all black women feel jealous about interracial relationships, b/c we don't. i myself am in an interracial relationship, and i personally don't care if i see my black brothers date outside their race. (unless they do it out of hatred for black women... then that's just mean). i love my black brothers, and i know there are plenty of good black men out there, but stuff works out the way it works out, right?

hopefully one day, we'll ALL wake up and realize that we are members of the HUMAN race. furthermore, i hope black women will wake up and realize they are short-changing themselves if they limit their sights only to black men. i hate to say this, but there aren't that many eligible black men to go around, so why fight over them or get angry when they date white women? move on!

and don't worry about people thinking you "act too white," girl. mature people will see you for the beautiful black woman that you are.

Answer 10

WHy do WHite WOmn get jealous When they see a WHite male with a Black WOmen, Why Salma Hayek being pregnant with the Frenchmen was such a hush topic!maybe your the one with the problem!!!