Was I the rebound?

Question

I have asked a similar question earlier but taking in all of the answers just posed more questions. He was the first to say I love you. He knew I had been hurt before and he said he would wait as long as I needed for me to feel comfortable. He suggested that we move in together. We were making plans for the future as far as trips we were going to go on.
I talked to a mutal friend of ours who has known my ex for some time. He told me to just be strong that my ex would come around he is just going through some tough times right now. I am not the type to think so irrationally but to live with my ex and see how we talked and got along I am puzzled as to why the sudden breakup and if it has nothing to do with another woman ( knowning his views on cheating) and everything to do with that he got scared since he was freshout of a divorce? I am open to any and all suggestions. I know that it is difficult to fully judge being that you have never met or seen us together but I am open. Thnx

Answer 1

This i feel is a harsh thing to say at this point to you , but hon??
If a man ...any MAN....short...tall.....shy....brave....ANY MAN wants... really wants ...a certain woman... NOTHING ..will keep him away.....at first, if he is sure you don't want him he will leave you alone ....but if he wanted you nothing could keep him from your side. you will get the real love you want and deserve ....as long as you don't allow yourself to be already taken ......by the wrong man!!!....live long loving and laughing!!!!!!!!!!

Peace

Answer 2

Rebound is a guy or gal who has a bad experience and drops back on their reserve. Usually someone they meet soon after the disaster oo someone you have known for some time and know well enough to seek comfort with. Then the comfort turns to love and you feel guilty. But nature has wone. You just courted and married someone who is not in your (playboy or playgirl) dreams, but you are on the rebound. What you have just done is to cement the genes that keep us faithful to what we really believe in. You have given up pure excitement and chosen love, deep love if you give it time. Good news: Rebounds often work out better in practice than the "passion" of the other loves we had and lost. The "love" we rebound from is often an insane, stupid lust doomed from the beginning. What we rebound back to is a practical and satisfying love with someone we have always known was right for us or someone we just met who rings the bell and holds us close. Instinct wins every time. If you have to think about it then it isn't love. If you're on the rebound then you probably got or are one of the couple concerned. Work it through. It is probably the best thing you ever dreamed of. Give it time. You will also find your rebound partner is unusually open to talking about lots of things, things you would never talk about to even your closest friends. Thats why you rebounded there. You're home and you don't know it yet. But your body and mind do. Relax and enjoy it. Go with the flow. Signed : jealous!

Answer 3

I would definitely say that he got scared because of his recent divorce. Something probably reminded him way too much of his ex and he couldnt handle it. This happens way too often when someone just out of a divorce gets involved with someone and is no way ready for a serious relationship. Way too often they jump for the first available person in hopes to escape the memories of their ill fated marriage. Any little thing sets them off and they run at the first sign of familiarility. So chances are you just got involved with the wrong guy at the wrong time, but most definitely no way your fault. Just learn from this and move on to someone more suitable for you. Good luck

Answer 4

Yes, it's impossible to say for certain - but I'm guessing that you were what one would call a "rebound". Some people are more prone to "jump into" new relationships and get involved from the get-go, only to change their mind some time later. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. Met a guy who was going through divorce (his wife left him after a 15-year marriage); we hit it off; he was the first one to say "I love you", he took me on trips, he kept talking about the future and other things we could do together, he introduced me to his friends. Then one day (just as I was starting to lower my guard) he broke it off by apologizing profusely and saying that he didn't feel we were compatible. It was very upsetting to me as I really liked this guy; but I realized that in dating him I took a risk of being this "rebound" that everyone is talking about (I was the first person he dated after splitting up with his wife). It was the risk I was willing to take, I lost, I moved on. My advice - in this situation, don't waste your time hoping that he will "come back". He broke it off for a reason, and it is likely that these reasons will keep him from "coming back". I know how you feel. After that guy broke up with me, my friends were convinced that he would miss me, and would realize what he had lost - we seemed to be really good together, to everyone. But, it did not happen. He never "came back", nor did I ever contact him. It took a lot for me to move on, but I did; I put every ounce of effort into it. It can be very unsettling and puzzing when someone breaks up with you "out of the blue"; but everyone has their reasons, and much of the time they won't share the "true" reasons with you. Please try to treat it as a lesson learned, and don't hang on to the past. You will meet someone eventually who really IS ready for a relationship. Don't let bad experiences drag you down. Good luck.

Answer 5

you were not a rebound. it's just that he jumped into this relationship with the hope to "build" a new and better relationship but of course he was not as ready as he thought he was and that's why he decided to back up before doing something that might have hurt you. seems like he was willing to try but got scared because things were going way too fast.
he was a jerk for breaking up. why didnt he take more time for himself after his divorce? just be strong. if he comes around great, but if not, dont feel used, before I bet he gave you some good memories.

Answer 6

well,just be there for him,but dont push.i think all anyone really wants is someone who beleaves in them and will stand by them nomatter what.i went through a simular situation except i'm the guy who broke it off with the girl,she did what i started my answer with,we dated other people(i was also fresh out of a ten year marriage)but we still talked to each other.we have now been married two years,just knowing that she was always there to help,a should to cry on if i ever needed,etc,etc. but dont be taken advantage of either........good luck,but amke yourself happy also,nothing is worth being miserable over. i know its a celsha but things do happen for a reason.

Answer 7

i never imagined my ex would cheat on me either, as i knew his views on cheaters, and betrayal's, had it done to him many times, but cheat he did, so never think the reason he broke up with u was not due to cheating. hie views on cheating may have only been if he was cheated on, not if he were the cheater. if a man loves u nothing, but nothing would keep the away from u, and the last thing they would do would be to breakup and leave unless there were another person in his life.

Answer 8

he got scared since he was freshout of a divorce. Do you doubt that he knew what I love you meant? I dont

Answer 9

You might want to check out this website "So you've been dumped". You will find many people who are in the same situation as you and others that have been there, done that.

http://www.soyouvebeendumped.com