Is there financial help for a mother wanting to leave an abusive relationship?

Question

I am currently in a relationship that there is a lot of emotional abuise and I am at the end of my rope. I have 3 children, the youngest is 4. I am a stay at home mom, and feel trapped. I dont have the money to leave and start a new life, all my family is in another state and my well, I dont know what to call him, the @$$ threatens me telling me I can't take my 4 year old, the two other children are from a previous marriage. I am tired of being depressed and sad all the time, it is NOT good for my kids to see me like this and for them to think this is how LIFE is suppose to be. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. I dont know what to do. Thanks for your time and God Bless!

Answer 1

I worked at a DV shelter here are a few things you NEED to do:

Get the number of you local Domestic Violence Hotline and call and see if you qualify for shelter, if they are full they will get you to another shelter in another county if you want to wait, if not they will ask you to call back everyday to see if someone has left.

You need to have an escape plan, like when you will leave and if you can't drive yourself you need to arrange a ride. You need to have some emergency money like $10 will do, enough if you have to take a bus or cab.

Get copies of all important papers, records, like birth certificates for you and your kids, social security cards, recent copies of bank statements, stuff like that.

You can take your kids with you, all shelters welcome children and will make sure that they are bused to school from shelter. Most shelters have child therapists on site to help the kids deal with any issues. And they also have playrooms and volunteers who stay with kids so you can see the therapist/advocate.

Don't worry about taking all your clothes with you, most shelters have lots of clothes in all sizes and they will let you pick out items for you and your children.

Most shelters are "community-living" situations. All chores are shared, there are communal bathrooms and showers. There will group and private therapy sessions and on the day you go in to shelter they will help to devise an exit plan, i.e. where you will go and what community assistance you need To be linked to. In my experience if you need govt assistance i.e. welfare, food stamps and housing, women in shelter are given emergency attention.

Most shelters have 28-day stays but if you are waiting on housing and you need a few extra days most shelters will accommodate you.

I hope this is helpful, be brave and God Bless you and your children.

Just remember - THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN

Answer 2

I think the only thing holding you back is $$. If at all possible ask a friend or family member to help you get an apartment and that you will pay them back, and leave his sorry ***. Then you need to get a job, and put your 4 yr old in nursery school. Soon that child will be going to school and you can go to work and raise all 3 of your children. You can leave him if you really want to, and for your own sanity and your childrens. People like him like to have that control, they know how to use it. Noone should have to live this way. Best Wishes.

Answer 3

Call your family. Maybe someone can come get you or send you some money for a plane ticket for you and the kids. Or go to your local police station. They ALWAYS know where you can go. Sometimes it's a shelter. Sometimes it's just a place where they can set you and the kids up in a home, help you find work, and daycare for the kids. Good luck. You really do need to get out of that situation.

Answer 4

some good advice here. Talk to your family like a few other here have said. move back home with someone. file for divorce there. the ball will be in your court. he has to prove that you are an unfit mother witch is very hard to do. you do not have to tell him where you or the children live thats not his right trust me I know.if its that bad do it. the kids don't need to see a relationship as such. because when you file in an other state and he does not show that will screw him he will end up with what in Wi is called resonible request visitation. he asks you say no and he has nothing more to say about it.

Answer 5

Usually a battered woman's shelter will help you make a fresh start. I'm not really sure what the guidelines are but you could always check on them by calling. Plus government assistance can help you with rent controlled housing, food stamps, and things like that. Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 6

well my dear..
i dont have alot to offer u only some advice..
for one i would call freinds and family..tell them whats going on..try to rally enough money to get to where ur family is. your going to really need them if u leave. Try calling the local law inforcement..talk to someone there..they can tell you the proper people to call and point u in the right direction..and NO u dont even have to give your name. I was going to ask if u tried speaking with him..but im sure you have!
YOU need to get out somehow..bc staying will kill your spirit..
make a plan..take ur time..and follow through..
contact me if u wish..i may have some other idea's..

Answer 7

Contact the local police department, I don't know if it's the same everywhere, but where i live they have people called victim's advocates that can help rush living assistance and housing assistance for woman in this situation.

Answer 8

Contact your family and have them figure out a way to get you and ALL of the children out of there.

Answer 9

If you want a divorce, or to split up, and you want to keep your four year old, it hurts me to say this, but you will need a job, and a roof over your head.

Do whatever you have to do to get your own place.


Good Luck!

Answer 10

Call Family Crisis Center and they will help you........