Is he cheating?

Question

In May 2006 I caught my husband (who I was not married to then) flirting online with his ex who lives in another country. He also got a text message one Saturday from someone in another state asking, "How's your Saturday, Handsome?" He was talking on the phone with that girl for over an hour one night, too. I told him to stop it and he worked hard to make it up to me. We just got married a month ago and now he has weird contacts in his phone like "Gurgleb" which is a NJ number. I don't know anyone there and I'm afraid I have made a huge mistake. Do you think he's doing the same thing as before? How do I find out for sure? He told me that he was doing it the first time because I said it was ok (when we were first dating and not serious, I said he could flirt with other girls. But that was before we were serious and he should know better now). I don't think he's done anything physical b/c they're all long distance. I really need some help on this. :(

Answer 1

Im real sorry to say this , but it doesent matter if he is having physical contact or not , he is already untrue , he is hiding ..or trying to hide things {other women} from you ...and he is emotionaly betraying you, it could be because it has become an addiction with the telephone..and the ways to communicate it has to offer, or it could be worse and it is one certain woman he has an addiction to. In any case I feel he has committed a terrible crime , and that is marrying you when you are obviously not the only woman he is interested in ....You deserve a real marrige with a man who truly loves you, .........I don't know about the law where you are but it may be possible to not even have to divorce, talk to a lawer and ask him about an ANNULLMENT, it will make you not a divorced women it can Nullifie {spelling?} the whole deal and erase it and you will be single, as in never married. OH and in answer to your question how do you find out ..hon ..you already know the answer .YOU HAVE A GUT FEELING ...go with it will never ever lie to you ...GO WITH YOUR GUT... my heart goes out to you and at the same time im glad you found out so early ..i was not so lucky and i allowed myself to waste away ....hoping i was wrong while knowing i was right ....I wish you the best life you can possibly have ....and the love you deserve!!...and I have a strong feeling your going to get it!!!!
ps. Im much older now but i have a wonderful happy life !!WITHOUT that man!

Peace

Answer 2

Well, like every guy asks define cheating? If you feel that him flirting with other women, no matter ho far away is cheating, then he is dear. Yet, you created this problem when you allowed him to do it in the past; then rewarded him for it later in the relationship for staying and marring him while he still was doing it. I know people mess up, but it is obvious that this problem is really bothering you. I can never understand why people stay in relationships that are troubled. What you really need to ask yourself is if you trust him? If not; then you have your answer. The most important thing is to talk to him and tell him how you feel, Tell him that this type of behavior in no longer acceptable and decide what you are going to do if he does it again, A note about me though; if I'm unhappy, or feeling like the women is disrespecting me I talk to then or just say bye. I don;t have time for BS. Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

Had the same problem with my ex husband. I think no matter how much you try to trust him you will never be able to. there will always be a doubt in the back of you mind about his faithfulness. Sometimes it is just better to walk away, there are plenty of people out there who are not like this. Be firm and stand up for yourself. Dont worry about the divorce, i was only married for six months before I left my husband. It hurt but I am so much happier now, and you never know, he may learn from the experience. Mine did.

Answer 4

In my opinion it is just a matter of time before he finds a local woman to cheat on you with. I also know from experience that the behaviors he is and was showing won't stop. You just have to ask yourself when is enough enough? You would be so much happier if you cut your ties and find someone who will treat you with love,honesty, faithfulness, and respect. I have dated cheaters and married a great guy who is faithful, and it really is worth the wait. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I am really surprised that you married him. I would not have taken the answer that he cheated b/c you said it was ok!!! If he really cared about you, he wouldn't have cheated even though you said it was ok. That is ridiculous. You need to get to the bottom of this and get out if he is cheating again! Good luck girl and be more cautious next time.

Answer 6

Get an annulment and leave this joker behind.
Get a grip, and have enough self worth to not put up with any of this.
It is ridiculous that you ever told him it was okay and then expected him to change after you got married. You gave him permission to do this.

Answer 7

Unless it is his sister, hon, u got a cheater. Ugave him the oppurtunity when u said he could flirt. what was wrong wih u fool. u loved him not wanted to be his fool. he used that ginst u. just let him know that was then and this is now marriage means all foolishness stops.

Answer 8

You have a serious problem on your hands.

You need to tell your husband that this kind of sneaky behavior is not acceptable to you. You should have told him more clearly prior to your wedding.

You expect your husband to be yours and yours alone. This is not unreasonable. Tell him this is what you expect and you will not put up with anything less.

If he keeps it up, you need to up your game a little and be a little more clear on what he stands to lose.

Then do it, if needed.

btw don't get pregnant.

Answer 9

Call the number and see who answers. Ask him about this person. Let him know that your permission for him to flirt was officially revoked when he said "I do." It ended there, because he promised to be with you and no others. Tell him not to do this to you anymore. You are his wife, you deserve to be respected as such.

Good luck!!

Answer 10

I would go through his phone and phone those strange numbers and then if it was other women i would throw the phone at his head and file for a divorce well perhaps I have some issues but thats me.