My wife and I have VERY different SEX DRIVES?????

Question

We are in our 20'sso my sex drive is pretty high and
MY wives sex drive is VERY low always has been alittle low but now it is even worse. We havent had sex in over 2 months and she is more concerned about who is sleeping with who on Grey's Anatomy then she is sleeping with me????
She never initiates, rarely accepts my advances.
The truth is she just has never been a very sexual person
(except for when we dated in High School)
I am very frustrated...especially since my wife is
SO DAMN HOT and I see her nakes at least 2-3x a day.
Anyone else in the same boat

Answer 1

This is totally normal. Just wait until she turns 35. You will not be able to keep up with her. I went throught the same thing and now I want my husband more than he wants me. I am also more in love with him than ever. Hang in there, it is just hormones.

Answer 2

listen, i hear ya man. My husband is never in the mood, and one time we didn't have sex for 3 months. i tried everything and i'm pretty hot myself. lol he was 29 and i was 28, this was last year. anyway, no, you're not alone, and i will share with you that in my opinion people can tell you whatever you need to know, but they never tell you the facts. the fact is that there is nothing you can do. i even thought about divorce or messing around, and then we faught after a while, all the time. i was thinking everything, maybe he doesn't love me anymore, or maybe there's someone else, or maybe i turn him off, but he just says it's not me. so what the hell is it? anyway i figure that had to be my peek cuz i was ready to climb the wall with headaches every day. but then i had to make a decision my sister told me. I should either except it and move on, or get divorced. I thought about that for a very long time. i decided that even if i found someone else they could never be as special to me and share as many funny jokes and stuff as we have. no one could take his place. he's everything to me. so i figured i would just be happy and settle for the fact that i actually got him in the first place. i mean i was thinking, is it even possible to love someone as much as i love him, and is it really worth it to live without him, because of sex. so it got a little better later, and that is what saved us. i mean at least i get it, and from the person i promised to love through everything bad and good in life. ya know. i figured we owe it to ourselves to work through this mild stone. plus we are still young, so he should warm up later, i'll give him some time but if it didn't pick up, i would be out! ya know. not going to wast my happiness and youth and stuff on someone who has decided he doesn't want it. right?

Answer 3

2 months is a long time, not to have sex, especially in your twenties. Womens usually peak in their 30's.Men , when their 19. Is she depressed? Ask her.
Sometimes women with kids, work and taking care of most of the household choirs leave them feeling overwhelmed and sex is the last thing on their minds. However I don't think being in your 20's - once every 2 months will suffice-Let her know how you feel as soon as possible!

Answer 4

First of all STOP TALKING ABOUT IT with her. Talking is just making you look whiny and pouty and desparate, none of which are going to turn her on.

Secondly, do NOT try to romance her into sex. She's not an idiot. If you start with the long massage, to kissing, to sex, pretty soon (if not immediately) she's going to avoid ANY physical contact. Now physical contact could be good, but NOT if you do it hoping it leads to sex.

If you are going to try to initiate sex, try to do it with as much confidence as you can muster. If (when - yeah, I've been in your boat) she rejects, do NOT take it personally, do NOT pout. Just go on with your life.

I'd suggest if anything you need to spend more time on yourself, not on her. Stop thinking you can make her life perfect and then the barriers to sex will be gone. You know deep down there ARE NOT any barriers to sex. She just doesn't want you. Spending time on her won't make her want you, spending time on yourself might. Get in shape, pursue outside interests, flirt with other women. Be a catch, not her servant.

Ultimately, you may have to have the _serious_ talk. The talk about sex where you are not a grovelling weakling begging for sex, but where you are an assertive man, and tell her she either figures out a way to be involved enthusiastically in regular sex with you, or your marriage is over, because you can easily find someone else who will.

Answer 5

You need to fling the lines of communication open and discuss this. In your 20"s ? Holy crap you may spend the next 60 years together if sex isnt working now it will only get worse. Be more romantic with her. Really tease the heck out of her. Make sure you know what she likes and make an effort to find out. If you show her your really working at it she will almost have to keep up with you.

Answer 6

Yep, except my wife is 35-supposedly around a woman's sexual peak. When we do have sex it's good to great. I wish I had an answer for you bro.....we fight about it every two months or so. Or relationship is very good otherwise but this is killing me-I need it once a day or more.

Answer 7

If you asked my husband how he felt about our sex life, he'd probably answer with the same feelings that your having. Until very recently, that is how it has been for us.

My husband was terrible at initiating sex. He'd kinda just pull it out, and assume that I'd be so turned on I'd take off my clothes and throw myself at him.

You need to be patient, and make her feel as hot as you think she is. For me, it took his mother calling me "selfish b*tch..ect" and him sticking up for me. Put yourself in a situation to make you look good. Better yet, put yourself in a situation where you are her knight in shining armor.

For a little while, sex needs to be about how and what she likes to get her back on track. Sometimes we all need a little reminder as to why we are with who we are with. Sounds bad, but it is true.

Answer 8

I'm in pretty much the same boat - only I don't think my wife's hot anymore. I think I did at one time, but when I think of her now, pretty much all I see is a mechanical head saying, "NO!", treating me like a freak of nature for being interested in having sex with my wife, and rolling over to go to sleep.
I'm sure she has lots of other nice qualities, but when you're down to sex twice a year (YEP, that's right brotha - it gets worse) your mind can become numb, and less capable of seeing them.

Answer 9

Take a lover on the side. Get with some NSA sex my friend. In some cases, I feel it is justified for a man or woman to get their sex outside of marriage. You just need to know how to separate sex and love. Take the emotion out of the fling and get your freak on.

Answer 10

Something is going on with her! Either self image or depression? Talk to her. Give her other attention and see where that takes you. Medication can also have a great deal to do with your sex drive. (If she is on anything)