Saved myself for marriage. Been married to the same person for eight years. Turns out, she hates sex. (Although she really seemed to enjoy it BEFORE we got married - with other guys before me, and then really testing my wishes to wait).
Says it's painful. What can you do? I'm not going to force myself onto the one I love. So...it's a bi-annual event now (on good years). -And even then, she's angry afterwards. "There! Are you happy now?" attitude.
Is married sex supposed to suck this much?
2007-03-16 06:42:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NoNoNo!! She probably needs to go to the dr to make sure everything is okay. Have her do that. It should help. You should be happy. Good luck.
2007-03-16 06:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by Katie 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I second dan k. Very nicely replied. Another probable reason is that she is never getting orgasm. A lot of women in fact never get orgasm in their whole life, she might be one of them. Possibly she is getting fed up with sex with the feeling that she is getting used as a sex machine, as she sees that the men is getting orgasm, while she's not, and for years. That can make one frustrated.
Another important question to be asked here, how long do you last. Is it a two minutes affair, or you can hold for a considerably longer time before you ejaculate. Do you do enough foreplay?
Then, this woman probably is a hot tempered one, and probably a lot of time you guys are just having hot verbal fights in your couple life. May be you are quite a naive person. I also agree with Kailey that she might be having some sort of depression. She is probably a bit selfish as well.
You might consider looking around, depending on how other things apart from sex is working between you and your partner.
2007-03-17 04:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by www.vedicearth.com 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my experience ( i used to work in the area) has show me that many women who slept around a lot before getting one partner, have sex problems later on with that one "final"partner. I think psychologically and physically it messes up a lot of women. In that sense many men are the opposite, since having several women before being married seems to improve the sex life for him after he settles down with one women ( it might be because sex for most men is a lot less emotional than is for women)
I really think the pain excuse might be just that a excuse. I would really suggest to you you guys go to counseling. Maybe she had a bad experience before with one of her former boyfriends that left a scar on her (it would explain her anger). If that does not work, it might be time for you to look for greener pastures. I hope you had a prenup when you got married.
2007-03-16 14:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by malk e 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two concerns about your question.
1. If it is truly painful for her, she needs to see a doctor right away! She could have a serious medical issue.
2. She should be willing to sexually satisfy you in other ways if she doesn't want to have intercourse.
The fact that she gets angry with you after sex, makes me think she is being very selfish and uncaring. Does she not care about taking care of your sexual desires at all? You need to suggest counseling to her. It seems like you have bigger problems than just lack of sex. Like, lack of respect, lack of emotion, lack of committment....etc..... She may be depressed! You really should talk to her about getting counseling with you. If she refuses, then you may still want to consider going by yourself, just so you can figure out how to deal with this. Good luck to you! Do know that this isn't normal! She should want to have sex with you and this isn't how sex after marriage should be!!!
2007-03-16 14:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her about things, i mean there are days that i dont feel like havin sex and i have that attitude, but is she on any anti depressent, cause i took zoloft for a while and while i was on it, i didnt wanna have sex or anything like that, so maybe that could be th deal, or maybe you guys can go to a counselor. Talk about your sex life, find out maybe what she is into or what bugs her things like that maybe you just have to tap into her intrests a little more and things will get better......
2007-03-16 13:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married sex can be absolutely wonderful. You both have to be open to it though. My husband and I still have a very active sex life after 10 years of marriage.
2007-03-16 13:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's painful to her then 1. you aren't being tender enough when making love, 2 you could be too big for her and it hurts or 3 she has a medical condition that need to be checked out.
I would guess she has a medical problem. Without arguing see if you can get her to see her doctor.
2007-03-16 13:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NOO it's not. it's def not as good as hot dating sex but it isn't suppose to suck either. I'd say you two need to talk and maybe some counseling to see if there is more to it than just that.
2007-03-16 14:07:25 · answer #8 · answered by T C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it truly hurts her, she needs to see a doctor because something is WRONG!
I love sex.
2007-03-16 13:51:02 · answer #9 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it is indeed painful, she needs to see a doctor. Encourage her to do that.
2007-03-16 14:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋