How can I pass as a straight man, without everyone assuming I'm gay?

Question

I'm a female to male transsexual. Looks wise, I pass VERY well as a guy. The problem though, is that everyone assumes I'm a GAY man. Well, I'm 27 and I've liked GIRLS for as long as I can remember. I mean I guess I can KIND OF see it. I'm only 5'1", a little chubby, and my voice is not that deep (still deeper than a girl's, but in a tenor range). I dress "casual prep", and I take pride in how I look. I'm also very cultured, as I like symphonies, musicals, theatre, plays, philosophy, art, ect. Apparently this comes off as "gay man" to everyone. It's frustrating because now girls all think I'm gay and just want to be my "good friend", when *I* would like to be more. How do I change my "image"?

Answer 1

You already gave yourself the answer. You see when we talk about the sexes we talk about stereotypes. If you see a man who is too clean and groomed and wears sharp looking clothes then you think one of two things. He is either gay or he is meterosexual. The diference is the manerism at that point. That is body language. Which ever the case nobody will confuse him with a regular guy.

So, what is the stereotypical look of a man. Well, he would look a bit brutish. He can be well dress but not too well dressed. A man (stereotype speaking) would ware the same shirt various times. So his clothes will look a bit worned out. A bit dirty. He may have nips and cuts in his hands. A regular gy shaves but he doesn't do a facial. Man are usually quiet for the most part. They tend to keep conversations to withing the group. Also, men tend to stand next to each other when talking not facing each other like woman do. Also, men are usually not overly happy. They tend to have adarker outlook in life. Gay men are just too darn happy al the time.

Lets say you go shopping with a girl. Ahah, mistake #1 men don't like shopping. Unles is hardware. That is tools, computers, tv. etc etc. So, when men are dragged by their girlfriends or wifes to the clothing store they look the part. They look like somebody who is forced to be there. Anyways, lets say you made it to the store. The girl then asks, how do I look on this dress. You say, "Oh my God you look absolutely fabulous!!!' WRONG!!! very very gay. Keep your comments simple. A regular men wil say "It looks nice" or "I'm not sure" or "No not that one". You se no show just simpledirect to the point information transfer.

Wel, long story short keep thing simple. Men think functionally. I'll buy a pair of shoes for work. Work means al types of jobs. So good hardy shoes will do. Fancy stuff is gay unless is a very special ocasion. Again, steretypicaly seaking right!. A men will groom butnot to perfection. I may have matching shirt and pants but I may wear the shirt on the outside. I comb my hair but is not like if I went to the stylist. Simple, and fnctional.

Not to promote my blog ut I made anentry that speak about how man think. I called it Man OS. Ignore the other entries. The man OS will be usefull to you.

Answer 2

Okay your problem as I see it is that you want people, and by people I mean women, who only know you casually to see you as a straight man. You may need to diversify your interests in order to get these women to see you differently. One thing that might help is if you can be seen in the presence of other straight men on a casual basis. Go to a bar after work with some guy friends who are straight. Do you have a local sports team in your area? You could start going to their games with some guy friends. You will be associated as straight by not just your activities but also by who you associate with. I hope that helps.

Answer 3

The "casual prep" has got to go. If not gay, you're at least a geek. Jeans, flanel shirts & T-shirts. Don't talk about the cultured stuff you like (it's another gay-give away). Get to like some kind of sports and don't drink fru-fru drinks (beer, whiskey, etc.) I know, it doesn't sound very enlightening, but why do you think nerds have trouble meeting women? Same thing. Women like men to be masculine first and cultured/well-groomed second.

Answer 4

if the general public is ignorant enough to lable you simply because of your likes and the way you dress, they are the ones who need to change. i am now, and always have been, male. but i like a lot of the same things you do. including females. i am also 98% straight. i have two wonderful boys. so.. the next time someone says you're gay without getting to know you, just scratch yourself, blow a snotrocket, and give them a dirty look.

Answer 5

Please educate me on this if I'm wrong.(I am not trying to be a stinker) It seems like the fact that you long for female companionship made you resentful of your birth gender, and so maybe you felt that becoming a male would put you in better standing with a already harsh society. I wish you could have stuck with what God gave you & find sombody who loves and wants you just the way you are!!! Please stop worrying what others think its not good for you!!

Good luck & God Bless

P.S. I like you just the way you are, but please don't lie to potential love matches cause thats not fair!♥

Answer 6

there are pills to take that make your voice deeper, most people assume a man is guy as soon as they here there voice. if you have a deep voice noone will question, they will think you have to be a tough man or MANLY MAN bc of your hard voice

Answer 7

if you are being confused for a gay man rather than a girl who looks like a guy. those people are idiots. first of all a dead give away is that men have adams apples. you don't. those people are stupid morons who think you are a gay man. as far as your image. i think maybe keeping something femanine about you . maybe wear girls perfume..and dress as a guy.. thats only one suggestion. and if people actually keep confusing you for a gay guy tell them to check out your adams apple. lol

Answer 8

you might have to go with the "macho" status qou. Watching wrestling, race cars, lifting weights... but that will mean having to change who you are - again. No pun intended.

I know you worked had at being a guy and all, but the truth is, you were born a female and you like females... you are in fact GAY.....

Answer 9

well the fact that you were originally a female and are so short this makes it hard..

...anyway.... wear an NFL jersey and a fake beard... and carry a beer around. You might have better luck..

Alternatively, go back to being a butch dyke!

Answer 10

Go to the gym and bulk up a little, and go to sports bars.