i've noticed from my school days to todays college days... that my classmates/collegues...sometimes come upto me and tell me they r afraid/scared of me..., thats been really common... why and how do i infulence people this way... when i dont intend to...
infact i am a quiet girl and used to be reserve though now i've learnt being ambivert...
(19/f)
2007-03-16 06:16:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i used to be reserve... and i would prefer some sensible answers... if you know pyschology
2007-03-16 06:32:37 · update #1
You must be projecting a persona that makes people uneasy.
This persona may be manifested when you exhibit unexpected body language or facial expressions in response to a query or stare.
For example, in response to a query about lunch, you may stare at someone with a frown. The person seeing your response may be frightened by it. However, you might have just been thinking about where you would like to eat and frowning because you couldn't think of a nice place.
Try to monitor your body language for the next couple of days. You may be able to detect some mannerisms which could be misinterpreted.
2007-03-16 07:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see that you are disturbed at the response you are getting from your friends - for no apparent reasons - and this is a welcome sign to me because it tells me that you are indeed a sensitive person attune with your environment.
Most of us go through life without being in touch with our environment - even after we get a feed-back!
87% of all communication is in NOT what you say but how you say it (tone of your responses) and in your body language. What you actually say is only 13% registered. For e.g you can say "Hi" in 10 different ways and each way of saying that, sends out particular signals and is open to interpretation to the person listening. Its the TONE - is it warm and friendly - or is it gruff?
Also, how we perceive ourselves (quiet, introverted, etc) is not always how others (friends / strangers) perceive us. Obviously, in your case, it is this difference in perception that has surprised you. I believe that for success in life - personally and professionally; if we can find congruency between how we perceive ourselves and how my friends/others perceive me - we would be better people. We need to understand the reason why we are perceived as being "frightening" or aloof or snooty, etc The reasons and corrections are ALWAYS within us! As someone earlier has suggested, perhaps you need to find a friend who will give you true in-puts on various aspects of your persona that appear to trigger negative vibes among your friends - it may be something unconscious - a mannerism, style of talking, facial and hand gestures, your dress sense - ANYTHING!
Hope your friends find your true you soon! :)
2007-03-16 22:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by sukumenon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appearance and inner qualities may not match sometimes.
Look at Jack Fruit. It has lot of sharp edges from outside, but it is so sweet and good to taste. There is no Rose which has no thorn.
Your physical appearance is not begot by your choice. It is natural. People perceiving you as a rude one cannot be stopped by any of your deliberate actions. Be natural. Do not have any anxiety when you talk to some one or vice versa.
Why do you torture yourself that you carry a rough image. Remove your self doubt and approach anyone with confidence. You talk to anyone honestly and with kindness.
Once your friends know your true self, they will be your best ambassadors. The mouth to mouth information that you are a good and nice girl to move with, will win you greater appreciation and a large group of friends. Love yourself. Love your smile and love your confidence. You will win.
2007-03-16 19:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by marsh man 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you have a single friend to whom you can share what you think on issues, or matters surrounding you and the people around you related with it? If no, may be this is an answer, if yes then think of your attitude and reserved nature that may be make - you or others - to feel a comfortable company.
2007-03-16 19:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-12-02 02:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever impact we see in others for us has been created by us only.Please take interest in others emotionality and let others know that you are confident one caring for others.
thank you.
2007-03-16 06:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by dsireurco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well may be ur reserved nature it self scared them
2007-03-16 06:21:54 · answer #7 · answered by mots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋