Why doesnt he love me anymore??

Question

I've been with my man for 11 months now.Two months ago he even asked me to marry him! But recently he's been too tired to do anything. . . . .he doesnt even come home for dinner!He usually arives in at night when i'm in bed!! It cant be an affair if he asked me to marry him. . . . can it?

Answer 1

OK. First off. Don't worry about the people that say he is probably cheating. They are not in your home or in your bedroom.

The question isn't really 'Is he cheating?' The question is 'would you exist in a relationship where you have to wonder about that?'

One of marriages many faces is trust. If you are asking a board of strangers if your fiance is cheating on you. There is a trust problem. I'm not saying you are to blame, because obviously something happened to cause you to feel this way.

Here's the solution. Don't play into the drama. Instead ask him exactly what you asked us. Say 'You asked me to marry you, and almost to the day you have stopped coming around. Are you scared? Do you feel we rushed things? Are you cheating on me?'

If the answer is yes to any of those 3, it will probably hurt, but as others say it's better find out sooner rather then later.

If it's something other than the 3, then well...you have an answer.

Marriage isn't just a sign of commitment. It's not just a 'you're the one' ring.

It's a celebration of already getting it right. Once the ring is on, very little should change. My ultimate advice, which I know you will not take is, wait 1 year.

Why would it be that big of a deal. If it's marriage worthy and you love each other now, you'll love each other in a year. You'll just know each other better (and you'll pass the 2 year mark which is where the majority of all break ups happen.)

Answer 2

You need to talk with him about this. Only he knows the answer and only he can change it. Being that this relationship is young and committed to marriage you need to start learning how to keep open communication within your relationship. Your fiance should be your best friend and your lover. You would tell everything to your best girlfriend so your fiance should be no different. Start working on open communication now as it will help your relationship to grow stronger. There is nothing better than being able to talk to your husband about anything. Marriage is a partnership in which two people who love eachother work together. You must work together in every aspect of life. If you don't tell your fiance your feelings you are setting yourself up for a huge let down as he can't read your mind. Imagine if you were to have some personal female problem (yeast infection) and rather than tell your fiance/husband because of your embarrassment you just avoid sex and keep it on the down low until it clears up. Well he will only see that you are avoiding sex and he will question why. Wouldn't you rather him talk with you about his concern versus going online and asking complete strangers if they think your cheating. These strangers would only be presuming and their comments would only make him more paranoid. I hope you understand what I'm telling you because relationships that lack communication usually end up in divorce. And yes, lack of communication allows for a cheating spouse. People cheat because they love the person they are with but that person is not fulfilling their needs. Instead of talking about it with their spouse they take matters in their own hands and cheat. Don't let this happen to you because you fear your fiance won't like what you have to say. Claim your responsibility in this relationship and speak up. You will appreciate it down the road. Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 3

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore, It could just be that he is working late...I would ask him what's going on...But only you know if you fiancee is honest with you and if you trust what he tells you. Do you have any suspicion other than him coming home latet that he is having an affair? Has he in the past with previous girlfriends? There's always that possibility, but just be aware and cautious. Best of luck

Answer 4

You need to find time where you two are not busy and sat down with him. And talk about your feelings. He may be going thru alot at work, and doing overtime and is just tired. But if you two are going to be married then you need to open the lines of communcation NOW. Don't wait, cause this is very important. If he is unwilling to communicate, I would suggest rethinking the relationship. Not to be a complete downer, but I don't think you want to be with someone who is unwilling to acknowledge your feelings.

Answer 5

sure it could just because he ask u to marry him, doesn't mean he isn't cheating. just ask him why he is not home, ask him to be honest with u. u may or may not get the real reason why he is not home. is this a new pattern of behavior unlike what it was, could he be at work? u need to find out before u put any trust in him why he is never home.

Answer 6

Maybe things are getting slow in your relationship. Try spicing it up a little. Don't keep the same routine all the time. If things are really bothering you, then you have to talk to him about it. You shouldn't be left worrying about things like that.

Answer 7

yes it can be. TONS of married men have affairs. and you aren't even married yet. if he is acting like this now, get out before it is too late.

Answer 8

h*** naw it aint no affair (well not wit that info it aint) u should consider the possiblity that hes working to git a ring or something special for u to express the fact that hell always have u no matter the consequence to him (like gitting no sleep at all)

Answer 9

Honey, even MARRIED men have affairs, let alone YET TO BE-married men.

Answer 10

Chill. He's probably having a rough patch at work and needs to do OT.