My husband and I fight all the time about going to visit my family. He thinks we should only see them once or twice a year. If it were up to me I would visit them once a month. My mom even offers to pay for us to come see them. I tell my husbands if he doesn’t want to go then don’t go but he can’t keep me from seeing them. My mom and I are very close. I can’t help it if I am a family person and he is not. What do you think I should do to better the situation?
2007-03-16 05:44:54 · 19 answers · asked by Heather R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
does he let u go by ur self, if so then just keep doing that. he just may not b n2 family as much as u r--doent mean he dislikes them or anything
2007-03-16 05:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
GIRL i have the same problem with my husband (only reverse the roles) He is the family person and i am not. Sit down and (in a non judemental way and not in a mean way) write him a letter on how he makes you feel and ask him to do the same for you. this makes sure you don't fight. Then calmly talk about it. Maybe he feels like your family is taking away from your marriage (this is what i feel about my hubby's family) I don't know what he's feeling but somethings making him not like the idea of seeing your family, so ask him and then calmly disscuss it. if either of you feel you're getting angry due to the topic, change it and then come back to it. but do realize that your marriage is ultimtly at stake and you should both want to do right by the other person. talk it out through the letters and when you both have a better understanding of the others feelings then you can come to a resolution that will suit both of you. GOOD LUCK (im going through it right now as well)
2007-03-16 05:53:01 · answer #2 · answered by Gillespie's Helo Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question is that you're getting something out of those visits that your husband is not. Solve that problem and he might be happy visiting them every week.
Guys can be funny about their identity and money, your parents offer to pay for the trips may be making him very uncomfortable. It might be sending the wrong message - like he isn't man enough. He might feel the same way about the frequent visits.
You need to talk to him with great sensitivity and really try to listen and understand his point of view. You may even need to be reassuring. Help him, don't fight about it - it's not worth it.
People don't just become "family persons" or "not family persons." They learn it. You can help him to learn it by providing him love and understanding.
Of course, I'd have a thing or two to tell your husband too, about understanding and support...
2007-03-16 06:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by the foolish fox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go without him. I have an aunt who is about my age who is very family oriented, but her husband doesn't like to travel. He'd rather sit at home and not go anywhere that far away. My aunt goes once a month or, at the very least, once every other month to see her family. My uncle stays at home, hangs out with guys from work or he visits with whichever of his sisters that's home. Most of the time he visits my parents. Just go without him, and you'll both be fine.
2007-03-16 06:20:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get married, your husband becomes your family. It's time to put your focus there, not on your mom. That doesn't mean you should never see your mom, but once a month is a little excessive. Call her on the phone, send e-mails, etc.
2007-03-16 05:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe ask your family to come down and visit with you and your husband. Ask your husband why he has a problem with your family. See if you can get everyone to get along.
Once in awhile go and visit your family alone, but not too much cause your husband might get jealous and lonely, and besides you do not want to leave him alone too much.
I hope things work out with you and your family.
Best of luck...............
2007-03-16 05:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to force him to go see your family. Maybe he is uncomfortable there. If he is willing to let you go by yourself than go be close to your family, but don't forget when you grow up your husband becomes your family. So don't neglect how he is feeling. How would you like spending time with his family once a month?
2007-03-16 05:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is important and I have made the same mistakes as your husband is doing years ago , now I regret not being more supportive for my wife and it nearly cost me my marriage . You Will have to tell him your folks are a part of who you are and if he wants a happy wife he better let you see them .
2007-03-16 06:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by joel s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would tell my husband I love you with all my heart. But I love my mother she gave me life. And I'm going to give this woman one day a month because there is going to be a day that she'll never be here anymore. And I hope my children will love me and give me the same.
2007-03-16 06:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that, if you want to visit your family, then do it!
your only have one mom.
you don't have to fight about it with your husband.. just tell him how you feel about your mom and famiy. and that it's very important for you to spend some time with them every month or so.
ask him if he is willing to try and accept your feelings... and go see your family!
take care!
2007-03-16 05:51:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that even though you married him, your family is still very important to you. Ask him if you had grown children would he expect to see them more than once a year if they had the opportunity? Tell him you owe your your mom more respect than that since she did give birth to you. If he sees his family more often ask him if he is will to cut down the visits with his family.
2007-03-16 05:50:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋