What is the funniest line ever made in a movie?

Question

Mine comes from Monty Python's "Life of Brian".
Brian, having been mistaken for the Messiah, is pursued by the crowd. From a balcony he attempts to get them to stop following like sheep. "You're all individuals", he says, and the crowd in unison repeats "We're all individuals", then a lone voice from the crowd shouts "I'm not!" Utter brilliance.
What are your favourite funny film lines?

Answer 1

I love Monty Python's 'Life of Brian' as well. It is hard to choose as there are so many brilliant scenes and lines being said in that film.

Here's one....


Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?

Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?

Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.

Brian: Well, what happened?

Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.

Brian: Cured?

Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!

Brian: Who cured you?

Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

Answer 2

I love Steve Martin's line in The Three Amigos, just after Chevy Chase's character reluctantly recites the stupid verse to summon the invisible swordsman and then fires his gun, supposedly into the air. You hear a thump and then Steve Martin says, "Great, you've shot the invisible swordsman!"

Also the part in Groundhog Day when Bill Murray meets Ned Ryarson for the umpteenth time and starts hugging him affectionately and says, "Ned, I have missed you sooo much!"

Oh, and I love just about every line in Blazing Saddles, but the best is when the sherriff holds a gun to his own head and says, "Nobody move, or the ****** gets it!"

Answer 3

From Dusk til dawn, George Clooney comes out of the ti**ytwister bar and is asked a question to which he responds........

"Psychos? Psychos? Did they look like psychos? Psychos don't explode when sunlight hits 'em I don't give a f**k how crazy they are!!"

Class.

And of course Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean with "Where's the rum"? Marvellous.

Answer 4

1. On a League of Extraordinary Gentleman, I like when Allan Quartermain told Skinner, "Skinner, I want you wearing clothes at all times or it's my foot up your a**."

2. On Spider-man 2, I like when Peter Parker said, "Punch me and I bleed."

3. I like on 10 things I hate about you, when The main boy told the girl, "I know, but there's always drums, bass, and one day, maybe even a tambourine."

4. On Not Just Another Teen Movie, I like when the popular boy told the people filing onto the plane, "There's a girl getting on a plane to Paris that I love, and I may not ever get to see her again." And they let him go, but when the girl's best friend told them the same story, they told him they'd already heard that one.

5. I like on Mean Girls, when Katie tried to apologize to Regina, but Regina got mad, walked across the street, in the middle, and said, "......so you can take that fake apology and shove it right up your-" Then, she got hit by that bus.

Answer 5

Best line ever is in the Blues Brothers – our heroes are about to embark on their perilous car journey home – Elwood [Dan Aykroyd] turns to Jake [John Belushi] and utters the immortal: “It’s a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses”. (Full script is at the link below)

Answer 6

not sure if this will be allowed on here, it's from Priscilla Queen of the desert. Terrance Stamp as a trannie says to the ugly bint "look darlin' why don't you light up your tam pax and blow up your box! Coz its the only bang you're gonna get!"

Answer 7

Before I got to read the long part of your question, I'd thought of "Life of Brian"!! Honestly!
There's so many to choose from but I'm gonna have to say:

I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
lol....

Answer 8

Holy s**t that womans got a skunk on her head from Josie and the Pussycats!! Makes me laugh all the time.
Kill the Queen. the jukebox from Shaun of the Dead

Answer 9

one flew over the cuckoos nest

McMurphy: [about shock treatments] They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!

Answer 10

i'm no longer able to think of of the funniest as there are distinctive extremely stable ones, yet between my favourites are: American Pie, no longer yet another teen action picture, intercourse stress, and of direction the classic - some like it warm.