I am trying to work things out with my ex-fiance, to tell you the truth I don't even know if we are still engaged. Last night I saw someone I had dated for a long time, we kind of messed around. Should I be truthful with my ex-fiance, or would it be better if I didn't say anything and hope he doesn't find out? I believe honesty is the best policy, but in this case I believe it will just hurt him and not really help us to see if we can repair our relationship. We broke up because he was always lying. Now we are going to counseling trying to work things out. So should I tell him, and if so what is the best way?
2007-03-16 05:38:09 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honesty is the best policy
2007-03-16 05:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you do that if you are trying to repair things with the ex-fiance? When you can honestly answer that question you'll be much better on your way to healthy relationships. Honestly is always the best policy, because having to keep up a lie will eventually come back to haunt you. If you are in counseling, bring it up there and let the professional help you work through it in a safe environment where the discussion of it can be fruitful. Will it be hurtful? Of course. Does that mean you shouldn't tell him? No. He lies. You lie. If you have any hope, it's HONESTY. Do it with the counselor. Try to analyze why you chose to mess around with the ex. Were you hurt by something the fiance had done? Were you under the influence of something (not an excuse, but it depends on the substnace)? Are you trying to sabatoge yourself subconsciously? These are things that you'll have to explore with yourself.
2007-03-16 05:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by rumezzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might need a lesson in honesty. It doesn't mean do what you want, then tell the truth about it. It means doing the right thing, even if you might not get caught. You obviously have some maturing to do before you are ready to get married, or you wouldn't have "messed around" with the other guy. Yes, you should tell the ex-fiance, but it's probably best that you stay exes. Neither of you sound capable of keeping a marriage together, and you definitely shouldn't bring children into this mess.
2007-03-16 06:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is always the best policy. Im sure you could think of it as pay back or say we were on a break or any excuse you would like but it really needs to be brought up. Maybe during counseling. If your messing around with someone else maybe you should reexamine how you feel about getting back with him in the first place. Good luck.
2007-03-16 05:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by jdw1970 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having counseling and you are only engaged, it doesn't bode well for a long and happy marriage. I suggest you take some time out from each other and see how you feel after 2 or 3 months. If he lies and you mess around my guess is you're not in a relationship that is going to last.
2007-03-16 05:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by skindeep 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do at this point is to sit him down and have a heart to heart with him. It is always best to be honest. You may upset him now, but if he finds out from an outside source it will be a whole lot worse. If he finds out further down the line he'll fell that the rebuilt relationship was based on a lie and the repercussions will be worse.
2007-03-16 05:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Angela M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
firstly,what are your feelings towards ur ex fiance? do u still love him? Will things really work for both of u?
the someone u dated for a long time,is he really who u want be with? or is he just someone u just intend to mess around with n not move on from there?
trust is important, but its really ur choice, coz u stated its ur ex.
if ure talking about ur future, make a decision for urself not cause u pity the other party. cause the person u want spend the rest of ur life with is ur choice.
if u love ur ex finance go ahead with this counselling..tell him the truth.. everyone makes mistakes..
2007-03-16 05:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by eki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You broke up because he was lying and now you are a cheater (you admit that you are working to repair your relationship and you "messed around" with another man)...hmmm...better go your seperate ways! Tell him the truth - him knowing that you too are at fault for the relationship failing will help you both to heal.
If you two can't commit to fidelity and trust BEFORE the marriage - PLEASE don't make the mistake of getting married.
2007-03-16 05:40:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you broke up because he was lying, then don't be a hypocrite and lie to him. That's just wrong. If you're doing counseling then bring it up in a session....honesty IS the best policy...
2007-03-16 05:42:03 · answer #9 · answered by NikkiWy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you were messing around with another man and your fiance has trouble telling the truth, do you really think you two should be getting married? I'd call the counselor and ask her/him what to do, they are the professional and should be able to advise you what to do.
2007-03-16 05:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋