pregnant... and worried..PLEASE HELP?

Question

let me start off by saying i'm 14 years old and my boyfriend is 15. well we just found out i was pregnant, and we both are NOT ready for a kid, so my boyfriend is filling my head with all this kind of stuff. he BROKE UP WITH ME `cause he said he not ready for a baby, then the next hour he called me and said well, i loveu and i wanna be there for my kid. then he's like but what will my mom say, so he tell's me hes gonna call my friend 2 get a ( plan b pill ) dont know what that is. help me out people! but i'm not that kind of person. abortion! hell no.. adoption, just worried that the baby will hate me cause i gave him/her up. and keeping it, i will drop everything for him/her but i HAVE 2 finish school . not gonna be a dumb mom. what should i do? about the baby and my bf. hes not always like this, he said he is in a panic mode, cause hes scared he wont be a good father 2 the baby, please help me out. i need all the support i can get ( i only want the best for the baby )

Answer 1

Your boyfriend needs to realize that breaking up with you is not going to undo what has been done. He is going to be a father whether he is ready or not. If he wasn't ready then he should have kept his pants zipped.

You need to talk to your parents and he needs to talk to his then you ALL need to get together and get things figured out. Plain and simple. Plan B isn't going to do you any good. It is to stop the fertilized egg from implanting. If you are pregnant, then it is too late.

Answer 2

FIRST AND FORMOST - GO TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. They will be upset, they might be angry, but you are their daughter and they love you and will be there for you. This is a decision that needs to be made with them as well. Please don't take this wrong but at 14 & 15 you and your boyfriend are so not ready to be parents, no matter how mature you are - no way.
It's not just how to schedule school and taking care of a baby, or paying for all the child needs, it's having a chance to have a life of your own so that you don't come to resent this child you carry. Adoption is a very difficult choice, but in my opinion a much better choice than abortion. Not because I'm a "PRO LIFE" pushy person - but because I married a man who was adopted at 2 weeks old 35 years ago. If his natural mother had made a different choice my world would be so very different and so very empty.
There are so many adoption options these days – there are the ones where you don’t know the families – and let go totally. There are Open Adoptions (Link Below) Give adoption a serious though, it truly sounds like the only viable option available to you.

The choice is yours but at 14 - PLEASE go to your parents. You really need for them to be helping you make this decision. And I will say just one more thing about the back and forth of your boyfriend - He's 15. I'll say it again he's 15. Most 15 year old boys can't make a decision that lasts more than this week, never mind ones that will affect the rest of their lives. Trust me I have a 16 yr old and a 14 year old - both of them boys.

Good luck to you - and also don't hide from this - you need to tell your parents so that you can get prenatal care no matter what your final decision is.

Answer 3

The plan b will not work for you. Plan B does not let the fertilized egg attached to the uterus - your has already attached if you know you are pg. You need to search your heart about what is the best option for you - adoption or keeping the baby. If you choose adooption, I don't think your baby will hate you, they might try to seek you out when they get older, then you can explain to them that you choose to give them a better life. If you choose to keep the baby, your life is going to change drastically and it will be hard, but the reward will be so great. Be honest with your parents and tell them, best case scenario is that they will help you raise the baby. Finish school, it will only help you out in the end. Find a good job. Your life is going to change, you will have to come home right away after school everyday - you are the mom and have to take car of your baby. Friday nights and weekends will not be yours anymore. Going anywhere and doing whatever you want at anytime is gone. My mother-in-law was 16 when she had my husband. It was hard and they were poor, living in a trailer, but she put herself through college, got a good job and never went on welfare (all on her own, the father left when my husband was 3, no child support either). So it can be done. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Yes you are young and you should finish school. Unless you have absolutely great parents who will watch your child while youre at school, Adoption is great. There are so many women out there that cannot have children and would do anything to have one. I wouldnt worry about the baby hating you. The parents will teach it that you did what was right and it will have a wonderful life with a family that will give it the things it needs. A "plan B" pill is probably a "morning after" pill and that only works until 72 hrs ater conception, which obviously youre further along than that. Youre boyfriend is very young and immature and the way he's acting is how any 15 yr old father would act, dont expect too much from him. Youre going to have to grow up real quick and make a quick decision. In my opinion, adoption is the best thing for you right now. Best wishes

Answer 5

Your boyfriend is clearly confused, which is expected.

Your intelligence and level-headed thinking is rare at your age. Congratulations on being such a smart girl for taking responsibility after having made a mistake.

I am sure you have been told that this baby will change your life already.

The good thing is that you are smart, and have had some time to think and have made good decisions so far.

Unfortunately, we don't know if your boyfriend will continue to make good decisions. Hang onto the people in your life who are caring and helpful, and pray that your boyfriend keeps his word and is a good father.

a morning after pill will not help you if you know you are pregnant already. Chances are, you are at least a couple weeks pregnant already.

He is still dealing with his own set of worries about the baby, but the baby is in your body, so don't let him talk you into making a decision that you don't want.

Most fathers are in panic mode. My husband and I were trying to get pregnant (he is 30, and I am 40), but once I got pregnant, he went into panic mode too.

Then he went into panic mode the week after the baby was born too!

You are experiencing something that most women have when they are a little older, so it will be difficult. Also, your parents are still in charge of you, so it will feel as if they are still making some of the decisions for you.

Just keep your eye on school and on that baby....go to college and get a degree when you get out of high school. Don't take time off before going to college, and don't drop out of college. Get it done early, so you will have a good job by the time your kids get into kindergarten.

Be patient with your boyfriend and his family problems.
Take your prenatal vitamins every day.
Always love your baby...from this moment through the rest of your life, and think in the baby's best interest at all times.

You will do great!
Good luck.

Answer 6

Glad to see that you feel your schooling is important! You're right...it's very important. First you need to talk with your parents and get your questions answered by them, they should be your sounding board! If you do not have parents who are good role models and offer you support, go to your councilor at school or an adult you know you can confide in. As far as the "Plan B Pill" it is a pill that will abort your baby and before taking anything your boyfriend gives you, again talk with an adult. As far as worrying whether your child will hate you if you give him or her up for adoption, nobody can tell that. But what I do know is that for many people adoption is the only way to have a child. Giving a child up to a couple is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. You can have a role in picking the parents out too! That way you know what kind of family your baby is going to live with. Good luck! And remember there's people who love you and so does God...he'll carry you through this!

Answer 7

WOW! This is a big change, that takes you from young adult to "Adult." Just because you want to finish school does NOT mean you cannot keep your child. You do not NEED to have the father of the baby in your life for the baby to have a great life shared with you. There are many young mom's. My cousin had her 1st baby when she was 14 as well, and Tiana is now 9 and is amazingly bright. My cousin said she was thinking of giving up her baby as well cause she was young, but she kept her and said she would have been miserable everyday knowing now that she would've missed out on her life and would have done nothing but wonder "does she think of me?" "Will she ever come looking for me?" etc.
Tell your family they maybe surprisingly supportive, and they WILL be unbelievably upset with you, and may say things that will make you second guess your choice. My advice: think long and hard about the pro's and con's of keeping/giving up for adoption your child. When you've made your choice, stick with it, and don't let anyone change your mind, it is your baby and your resposablity, can you go on in life NEVER knowing your child?
What I wanted to add that no one seems to be telling you is: If you get an abortion, you run the risk (a high one at that) of NEVER being able to concieve again. Not to mention the risk of serious illness and possibly death to yourself. Please do not go the route of abortion, if not for you baby's sake, then for your own. And if you are spiritual....you will be faced with your aborted baby in heaven!

Answer 8

Step 1) Tell your parents. They will be disappointed and all that, but they have lived longer than you and may have some other options. Be prepared to tell your parents that you don't want an abortion and that you would like to look into adoption.
As for if this child will hate you...I doubt it. My mother-in-law and her brother are adopted. They were loved, well take care of, and are healthy people today. They were always told they were adopted, it was never hidden. And, in a twist, my husband is half adopted. Is biological father never stepped up, so his step dad adopted him.
Bottom line is you are years away from being emotionally and financially ready to raise a child. You and your parents need to decide what to do. If, and I say if, you want to take your boyfriends feelings into account, you can, but it is your body and you do what you feel is right.
And, just a side note, in most states a doctor can not discuss pregnancy/family planning with a minor's parents and you do not need their permission to get services. So, go down to Planned Parenthood and make sure you are pregnant (the test is free) before you drop a bomb on your parents.

Answer 9

first thing is first you must speak with a adult you trust, be it a teacher a aunt, uncle, mother, father....

you have several different options to choose from and you need someone you trust to go over them with you.

I am not a advocate of abortion because I think later in life a person may regret it.
you should also check into open adoption, there are families out there that are willing to adopt your baby and let you still have visiting rights, this allows the baby to be raised by a family that can take care of them the way they need and allows you to still be in the childs life.

I dont know if this helps you at all i have one child and another on the way, i did not plan on either of them but after i had the first one i can not imagine not having her, and i hope the same happens with this one,
i have a friend who had a abortion when we were in highschool and to this day she does not talk about it ever so i dont know if what they say you feel years later you do or not.
Just please make sure if you do decide to abort you do it the right way dont try any of the at home stuff because you can damage your body for ever and sometimes that can even result in death.

i hope you will find a adult you trust to talk with about this and rememeber regardless of what your boyfriend says or does the decision is yours to make not his.
listen to what your heart tells you and will be just fine.

Answer 10

Plan B will do nothing if you are already pregnant. It is used to prevent pregnancy within 72 hours of intercourse. I have 2 friends in high school who got pregnant one at 14 and one at 16. You can successfully finish school and be a mom too, with or without the baby's father.
You need to take care of yourself and the baby. If you want the baby do not let ANYONE convince you to give it up, or have an abortion, you will regret it forever if you do.

The first thing you need to do is tell you parents and get to the doctor to start prenatal care. It will be hard, but just keep thinking of the wonderful little gift you will have in a few months.

I know this will be really hard but if you wanna talk, email me from my profile, I will help all I can.
One last thing, please don't have an abortion, it is murder.

Answer 11

i would say lose the boyfriend he is not a responsible person and i would suggest that you do not listen or take anything your boyfriend gives you the plan b pill also known as the morning after pill is given to women that have had unprotected sex to terminate any possibility of being pregnant! i am sorry to come so direct to this subject but if you were responsible to be sexually active with your boyfriend and vice versa then you have to accept the resposibility of the consequences of what to come after! I know you are too young and you know it too! but there is no excuse to abort you should talk to your parents or relatives and yes they are probably going to get upset but they will get over it! if you decide you don't want to keep the baby you could always put the baby for adoption or even surrender the baby at any hospital no questions asked! you need all the support you can get right now and for sure you are not getting it from your bf so please do the right choice and good luck!
damaris