OK, it is a long story so to make things quick, here is the short version. My husband met an old friend from high school and decided to start being friends with her again. They hang out all the time and and talk to each other all the time, and now after a little while of talking to each other her and her husband have split up and she is staying at my husband's mom's house and he has to go down there and stay with her to keep his brother off of her and now he went to get something from her house and spent hours there. What would you do??
2007-03-16 05:23:52 · 27 answers · asked by prettygirl14_2002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, I see some red flags here.
Is ok to help a friend, is ok to take care of your friends, but as long it doesn’t interfere with your primary center of attention, in this case, his wife and family.
No matter if the friend was a guy or the girl, he is overdoing it a little bit. And the problem here is that is a woman, not a guy, so you of course should have some bad feelings about it.
So you have to stop him right now, and get his a s s to sit with you alone, and just tell him you r concerns. If he wants to help her so much, then he must consult it with you. Like it or not, is not just his life anymore, you are married and must share everything.
If is important for him to help her, then he needs to ask you, consult it with you, and both of you should go together to help her. Or even better you can go instead of him to help her get stuff or whatever she might need (I a m assuming she has no car maybe?).
And watch for reactions. If he agrees and is happy that you offer to help, and doesn’t mind the comments you made, it should be fine. But if he gets mad and changes attitude towards a hostile side, then more red flags will come up as he might be interested in her for more than just friendship.
Unless you are into sharing husbands or threesomes, you better watch it. Don’t assume anything unless you have proof, but be alert. Guys will always be guys… trust me, I am one… I know… LOL
Good luck.
2007-03-16 05:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that's a hard one. I know my husband has a friend who a is a women. And I know he would do anything in the world for her. But there is a line, that he wouldn't cross. To him this women is more like a sister to him, basically because they grew up together. If I were you, I would go down to stay with them to make sure that nothing is going on. Of course, if by chance they were doing something they wouldn't do it in front of you. Just keep your eyes peeled, and watch the signs.
2007-03-16 06:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by smurfie45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very upset! # 1 why would he need to keep his brother off of her, why would he care he is married to you who cares who she is with. #2 she is staying at his moms house? that is strange. #3 they were talking hanging out all the time. where were you? now she has split from her husband wonder why? then your husband goes to get something from her house and spends hours there. the signs are there, staring you in the face. you need to have a serious conversation with your husband, its up to you if your willing to accept his behavior. would he if the tables were turned? & if you really loved someone would you do that to them? it seems to odd to be just helping someone out, you wouldn't care to keep someone off another person you know? matbe its just me- wish you all the best.
2007-03-16 05:38:30 · answer #3 · answered by sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your husband and let him know how this makes you feel. Sounds to me like he is making excuses to go over there. She is a grown woman and should be able to tell your brother in law to stay off of her. I'm sorry I know this isn't easy for you. Good luck I hope it all works out for the best. Does he ever ask you to go with him? I
2007-03-16 05:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by mominla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an ultimatum - either you or her and if he makes any choice other than you and you alone, stick to your guns and kick his sorry butt to the curb. Why is this bimbo staying with your mother-in-law any way? This woman and your husband are having an affair or are on their way to having an affair. Your husband is keeping his brother off her so he can have her for himself. Again, tell him it's either you or he gets his crap and gets out of your house and life. YOU are his wife and his loyalty and responsibility lies with YOU not her! She is an adult and she does NOT need your husband to help her in any way, shape, or form!
2007-03-16 05:41:25 · answer #5 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about your feelings.... Ask him what his intentions are. He married you, you are where his commitment and responsibilites lie not with her. It is ok to have a best friend of the opposite sex, but not when that friend comes before the spouse. She should not be staying at your husband's mother's house to start with.. What about her parents or friends or other family? Can't she stay with one of them? I think he might have feelings for her if he is concerned about his brother putting the moves on her... Othewise he should not care.... Talk to her too.... Most of all follow your heart.
2007-03-16 05:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Robin M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a serious talk with my husband if he was hanging out with *anyone* "all the time" (be it his best friend, his mother, or his friend from high schooll). The only person he should be hanging out with "all the time" is me. Hopefully, we'd be able to come to an understanding before resorting to more drastic measures.
2007-03-16 05:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no expert but it sounds to me like something more than friendly is going on here. And it would really upset me, I would confront him, ask him for the truth. And likely you will not get a straight out " I am cheating on you" but you must look for the clues, he won't look you in the eyes, he becomes distant. Gets angry when you ask questions. Then I would start thinking about what you really want
2007-03-16 05:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really that dense? They are having an affair. The next step is up to you. If I were in your position, the marriage would be over. Maybe you want to work things out, but the first thing that needs to happen is for him to stop ALL contact with her. If he isn't willing to do that, you have your answer.
2007-03-16 06:32:41 · answer #9 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with him every single time he goes out. He is acting like he is single. Tell him it is unacceptable and that you are his wife and will not tolerate it. If he gets pissed off because you are going with him everywhere, so be it. He shouldn't have to go over his mom's house to keep his brother off of her, that's ridiculous! You need to set your man straight. I bet her marriage broke up because she's a scheming ho!
2007-03-16 05:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋