How do help my child improve his classroom behaviour?

Question

My child is in the 3rd grade in a public school. He is at or above grade level academically, however social his behaviors in the class are sometimes inappropriate. His teacher feels he is affected by this but sometimes he affects others. While my concern for school is academics I would like to see him improve this impulsive behavior to better support the teacher's efforts. Some additional background is that the room is very high energy and 2/3 boys and 1/3 girls. The teacher is trying her best and we have a conference on Tuesday for with her , me and him. I hope we can develop a way to improve the behavior but I thought this might a good resource as well. Again he is a caring and loving boy who is just immature at times but also his personality is such that he is silly. Thanks.

I have read many of the responses. He is not obnoxious or disuptive. It is more a personality conflict. He is a silly kid and she is 34 year teacher with a wild classroom. I can tell you that there are at least 5 behavior problems. This leads me to believe he is acting out a need for attention but th bigger problem is how do I help him change the behavior. Again he does not need medicines as we have seen a doctor and he told me I was crazy to think he needs meds. He reads, sits in airports and attends educational programs at the library with no issue. His classroom on the otherhand is a problem. So with that I just wanted to clarify my concern.

Answer 1

Third grade boys are all high energy and sometimes it gets them in trouble with teachers, but don't worry there are a few things that can be done.

When you speak to his teacher, suggest these few changes, they may help the whole class.

1. Keep rules of class behavior few and posted where all can see them. Along with rules post the consequences that will take place if rules are not followed.

2. Tell the teacher to greet each student at the door when they enter in the morning if she doesn't do that now. This helps the children know that it is now time to learn. It also establishes a bond with the teacher.

3. Have the teacher tell your son what she expects out him for the next few months. Also you explain to your son what you expect out of him too as far as his behavior. Use encouraging words like, "I know it is difficult to sit still all day in class, but I know you can do it because you are a big boy now and not in kindergarten."

Hope this helps a little or at least gives you an idea for the conference. Remember you are responsible for your son's learning, so don't be afraid of taking charge. You know your son the best and want the best for him.

Answer 2

If ADD is not a factor, the principle reasons kids have inappropriate conduct in the classroom or anywhere, for that matter, are:

1. THE NEED FOR ATTENTION, whether it be because of a lack of it in the home, for peer approval or acceptance, or from lowered self-esteem.

2. A POWER STRUGGLE because he feels his ideas, needs, or whims have precedence over anyone else's.

3. REVENGE for a wrong he feels was committed against him.

4. INSUFFICIENCY he may experience by not meeting others' expectations or his own.

The above points are very succinct but if you analyze his behavior and the reasons for it, I am sure they will fall under one of the above.

Aggression, as a form of discipline, whether physical, psychological or emotional is not a solution you should consider. It would only accentuate his inadequate behavior and he would find other venues in which to execute reprisals.

Analyze your family dynamics since they may be he catalyst for his 'bad' conduct. Talk to him to see if you can get to the bottom of the situation. Employ the information above as a guideline to know where to start looking for the cause.

Mention the above to his teacher in private before conferencing together.

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor to help your son help himself.

Answer 3

My son is also in 3rd Grade and a very animated personality. His Teacher and I came up with several solutions. The one that works best is a "yes/no" box. Have your child decorate a medium sized box and explain to him that whenever he has inappropiate behavior, he will have to put a piece of paper with no written on it, when he has behaved appropiately, put a yes in the box. during the "no" behavior,after 3 "no's" he loses a privlage or gets a time out or whatever consequense fits at the time, when the time comes to maybe get free time or some kind of privlage he has to go to the box and draw out a paper and whatever is on the paper is his answer. It really helped my son to want to have more "yes" than "no" as he had a better chance of getting what he wanted. You can make nesessary adjustments to suit your situation. Hope it helps!! God Bless

Answer 4

I just attended a seminar that describes your child. If he is above grade level academically, maybe putting him in an older class would help. Studies have shown that younger kids will act more appropriately when paired with older kids than the younger or same age.

Now, you wouldn't have to skip a grade; but maybe for his strongest area, include him the older class (4th grade).

Acting out is a sign of boredom. If he is advanced, he is most likely bored to death!

Answer 5

Maybe it's the way he is treated out of school. Maybe it's influenced by some friends or from TV shows!! It happens!! You could ground him or give him punishments everytime but just maybe for the day!! Giving long punishments won't do anything!! If you does something good don't reward him just say you did a great job or so...

Answer 6

Talk with him and take him to be evaluated he may have some diorders like ADHD or PDD if he doenst talk to him some more and he doesnt improve take it old school and whip that ass

Answer 7

My mom did it this way: "BEHAVE YOURSELF IN CLASS OR I WILL BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU!"

Neither my brother nor I EVER disobeyed in class.

Answer 8

if you mean he doesn't behaive maybe he needs a good kick in the butt like my dad did me at that age. i have no regrets about it.