in our divorce proceedings, he took my house, friends and alienated my only brother.all this caused me to have a nervous breakdown..he took money from my maintainance while i was in hospital for "looking after the kids".now he's on the receiving end and i feel so scared of his reaction..
2007-03-16 05:02:49 · 38 answers · asked by jeanne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You did the right thing and he deserves to get it in spades.
It is natural to be nervous because you are blazing a new trail.
2007-03-16 05:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beside the legal challange, what you must do is get an Order of Protection so that he has to stay away from you otherwise he will be arrested. It looks like he may be capable of violence. He is counting on you having trememdous fear, so don't let him get his way. Also if he calls you, try to tape his conversations, because if he threatens you on the phone, that is a federal crime. Isn't there someone who will stand by your side? Are you totally alone in this fight? What about your parents? Try to make contact with your brother, even though your ex has tried to alienate him from you. Blood is thicker than water, so try to make contact. Try to gather your strength through prayer because that is what your ex wants is for you to be in fear all the time. I know it is very difficult, but divorce proceedings can be very stressful, but in the end, I am sure if you have a good lawyer, you may be able to get what you are entitled to including part of the home and all back money he owes you. He will have to provide child support to you for the children, so he isn't going to get away with anything. I do wish you the best and never forget the power of prayer. It will give you strength. Also try to go and speak to your church pastor. Maybe he can help you. Your ex will get his just due believe me, what goes around, comes around.
2007-03-16 06:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about the terrible stuff you've gone through.
Well done for picking up the peices, and getting your life back together. It must have taken a lot of courage. You just need to believe in yourself and know that you've probably been through the worst of it already.
Things will look up for you if you keep strong, always seek help if it gets too much.
Good luck, you deserve a fair divorce and don't let him bully you - he can't do it too you anymore, you're not together.
He can't hurt you anymore than he has.
p.s. I am assuming that he's terrifying you mentally rather than physically. If it is physical also then make sure you're surrounded by people or be somewhere where he can't find you.
good luck x
2007-03-16 05:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what your legal challenge is but I assume your attorney would not have filed it if they thought it was frivilous.
If you have always "rolled over" in the past with this man, either when you are married or you weren't, then he will be quite shocked and angry because you are changing the rules of the game. You are no longer a doormat and he will realize he is losing his control over you. I want to tell you that I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself! That's a big step.
If he calls you and starts yelling, please just hang up. Tell him very calmly that you are not available to speak with him when he is speaking to you in a derogatory, loud manner. And stick to your guns. Don't get sucked in. If you can, tape any conversations. If he should threaten to harm you physically please take the next step and inform the police.
You will be fine. If need be, stay with a friend for a few days unless you have a roommate? Or, take a short vacation over the weekend and go out of town to a hotel and then practice some relaxation techniques like soaking in a bubble bath, taking a walk, listening to soothing music, reading a good book, etc. . .
You will be fine.
2007-03-16 05:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, I would suggest seeing a therapist. An online forum is only a small way to get answers you want but probably will not get. Plus, it's not really the proper place for you to air out the type of dirty laundry that goes with divorce proceedings. If it helps any, a good rule of thumb is to give back just as much if not more than what you receive, and that goes for positive and negative things that happen in your life.
2007-03-16 05:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by that1scott 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for your courage! Sadly, you are now entering a truly dangerous phase in your "relationship". Here come some ideas on how to be safe: go ex-directory right away in the phone book; change the lock on your door or even move house, especially if the two of you have a history of physical violence; make sure you know how to activate the emergency number(s) on your cell phone; always let one very trusted friend know where you're going and report in on a regular basis so she can raise the alarm for you if you can't; do NOT go for walks in the park or wood by yourself!
2007-03-16 05:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have been through this with a friend; you need to protect yourself, ex d,phone and only let very close people have the number. Never answer the door unless you know who is there. don`t walk outside alone at night, if you have any fears you must phone the police. Any contact should be made with a third person present.
You can get through this, try not to let fear rule your life. One day this nightmare will be history and your life will be calm again.
2007-03-16 08:34:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Easter Love Poem for candy and frightening Tublet Oh, dearest Tublet, How do i admire thee? i admire you with this ring, and that i'm down on bended knee. ok, so possibly it extremely isn't a hoop, yet rather a massive hairball... yet once you seem at it heavily, you will see it includes a baseball. * baseball fan * So now it is Easter morn, and you're busy making your action picture of porn, yet right it is an Easter egg made with love, If we get bare, i will placed on a 'glove.' xoxo Love, ask your self
2016-10-18 12:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe - you just took the FIRST step in regaining control of your life - you will get more confident so dont let fear stop you in your tracks...do you have a safe place to stay??? lock the doors - ask a good mate to come and stay with you for a week or two...there is always safety in numbers and they can assist in keeping a file of harrasment form your ex - they would be a witness for you.
Buy a telephone answering machine and NEVER pick up the phone till you know who it is - press record when you speak to him so you have a record of EVERY conversation - also then if he leaves any nasty messages you have a record of his behavious. If you can afford CCTV get one at least in the hall and link to your VCR - they cost peanuts fomr B&Q - get it facing the door so if he calls you can 'secretly' record what he says / does....girl - you gotta fight fire with fire. GOODLUCK XXX
2007-03-16 05:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by celebrityhandbags 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out to you, this must be an awful time for you.
but you have to stand tall, lift your chin and say this is what he deserves. dont let him make you feel bad, as you know he would do the same on you when the shoe is on the other foot.
Divorces are never easy and getting maintenance can be hell, but you need to stick to your guns.
get yourself a copy of I WILL SURVIVE, and sing while doing your house work, remember you deserve to be happy, and dont let anyone take that away from you!!!
No man is worth worrying over, chin up and stand tall just remember that!
2007-03-16 05:23:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you have at least one friend that you can count on. He sounds awful.
You are at the other side of a breakdown, this means you have strenth. You have more of it than you realise. Dont get preoccupied with his reaction, just get on and sort yourself and your life out. No matter what his reaction, do not get into an argument or get drawn into a tit for tat game.
Focus on your life not him.
2007-03-16 05:10:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋