college decisions..?

Question

My parents are being extremely pushy about my college decision. I'm getting so stressed out. The college I want to go to is out of state and they want me to stay in state. I already got accepted into both. They are worried about money money money all the time and i know your not suppose to base your college decision on money alone but that's what they are doing. I know if I dont go to my dream school out of state then I won't be happy with myself for turning it down. I know we have to compare the finances but they have already made THEIR decision when it should be mine.... what should I do :(

I got into UCDavis (the school I want to go to) and University of Florida (instate)

Answer 1

You're not supposed to base your college decision on money alone, but it certainly is a significant factor. And in reality, I usually suggest that students not base where they apply on money alone, but once they get accepted, money has to become a factor.

Here are some things for you to consider:
-Are they paying for you to go to school?
-If you go to UC Davis, where will the extra money come from?

Academically, UC Davis and U Florida are on the same level, with exceptions for some majors. So it really is down to fit for you. And if finances were out of the picture, of course you'd go to UC Davis. But they aren't out of the picture. They can't be.

The decision isn't just yours. If they're paying for your school, and if coming up with the extra money for UC Davis is difficult or impossible for them, then it really is a decision that you both need to make, together.

Things to consider:
-Do you really dislike U of F?
-What are the pros of attending U of F, versus UCD?
-What are the cons?
-Is paying for UCD impossible for your parents? What hardship will it place on them if they were to do so?
-What other financing options are there for you at this time? Can you call UCD and discuss this with their financial aid office, and see what they can do to help you fill the gap in funding?

Many students end up "following the money" when it comes to college. A friend of mine did this. She got into Harvard. She got some aid, but not enough to make the school affordable. She went to her local state school instead. I did the same.

No, money isn't the only factor in chosing a school, but it can be a considerable one.

Answer 2

I'm having a tough time understanding why you think you can demand that your parents pay $10,000s per year so that you travel across country to a school that is ranked equal to your local school. There is nothing the matter with UC Davis, and if you were a California resident it would be a good place for an education - it is ranked 47th in the US. But there is nothing special about it that gives it such a huge advantage over your Florida colleges. Univ of Florida is tied with it at 47th place! Your tuition at UCD will be $20,000 more per year, plus the costs of travel. That makes no sense. If you had gotten into Stanford, then that would be different!

You could declare yourself independent, go to California and borrow the $140,000 it will cost to attend UC D, but that would be a truly bad mistake.

I hope that you can realize that your local school can give you just as good an education, and that you will be in much better financial shape when you get out. A $80,000 - $100, 000 difference is a huge difference.

Answer 3

I am in that same scenario years and years ago when i have to compromise my future endeavour with my parent's decision. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are not supporting what you want but perhaps they are being realistic/practical about it. Afterall, they're the ones educating you and money can really play a big role on this. The expenses of going out of your state would be collossal as compared to studying in your own state. You can also do post graduate course when you get older, and maybe really pin down what you really want to do. Education is a lifetime chance/opportunity. You will understand someday why they decided that, but right now, think and feel that what they've decided is still best for you.

Answer 4

What advantage does the dream school have over the other? To persuade your parents, you need to develop some solid reasons why the dream school is superior. If the dream school offers your major whereas the other school does not? Is the dream school know for a certain program? I live in Chicago and Depaul University has a reputation for computer programming. I hope you're getting the idea.

And don't forget to try a compromise with your parents. Suggest that you will attend the school of their choice for the first two years and then attend the dream school for your junior and senior years. It gives you a chance to prove yourself academically while saving your parents a buck or two.

And you still get a chance to graduate from your dream school. = )

Answer 5

Don't stress yourself out about this. If there is a good school in state, then just look at it this way: You are still going to a good school. You will still be away from your parents to a certain degree. Things you can do to try to secure your place at the out of state school are: apply for every scholarship, are you good at sports? that's another way to get a scholarship, or try to get the best grades possible because then some schools will practically come to your house and pick you up to take you out of state!

If none of these are an option, then its best to sit down with your parents and a finiancial counselor from the out of state school. The counselor can help you come up with a plan. If your parents still don't think its an option, then you'll have to look at some other schools.

Answer 6

Since you're 18 (I imagine), there's not much they can say about it. Wait until you get a chance to compare finances so you can have some arguments relating to their main worry. You may have to work a part time job (like work study) to pay for the out of state one, but if that's where you really wanna go...

Think really hard about why you want to go to that school and if that's what you really want. Have you visited this school? It seems like many of the kids I talk to, either on here or outside, have these dream schools that they've never been to and are basing their choice on just stories that may not be true (especially for them).

If you plan on going ot grad school, your choice of undergrad actually isn't that important.

Answer 7

I would be able to give you better advice if you told me what schools are involved. If, for example, the choices are Harvard vs Slippery Rock -- then Harvard is the obvious choice. Even though it is much more expensive, you would probably be able to pay off any debt you get because your earning power would be so much higher when you are done.

On the other hand, if your dream school is Emerson College(staying in the same area as Harvard) and your public school choice is Penn State (staying in the same state as Slippery Rock) then your parents have a valid point.

If you are paying for college yourself -- then your parents have no say. If they are paying, then you need to convince them why going out-of-state is better. The two things that could be determining factors are the ability to study something not offered at the state school and the ability to earn much more when you graduate. Look at the placement statistics for the two schools. Try to figure out how you could lesson the financial burdon on your parents (e.g., student loans that you will pay back).

Good luck.

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BTW -- Linkin usually gives pretty good advice -- but he is wrong about one thing. If you plan to go to graduate school, then your choice of undergraduate college is EXTREMELY important. He is right in one sense -- people will only care about the quality of your graduate program when you interview for jobs. But it is hard to get into a good graduate program without having gone to a good school for your previous academic work. I know for a fact that I would have not got into my PhD program at Berkeley had I not first got a degree at Duke.

Answer 8

I understand you dilema, but your parents want what is best for you. I don't know if you have scholarships and grants or not. If you don't, its not worth getting in debt by paying out-of-state tuition to go to school in another state when you can attend a state school with probably the same academic discipline at home. Besides, you can always to Grad school out ot state if you still decide to.

Also think about all of the other educational expenses that your parents can help you with; room/board, transportation, personal expenses, insurances, books, etc.

Try to be open minded and think about the advantages of attending school at home and the future benefits it will offer you.

Answer 9

There are financial aid that help with money and then there is also loans. I did a lot of convincing and arguing with my parents to get into my school. If you really want this out of school, tell your parents, you will works to play off whatever it is left after your parent pay the tuition. I am balancing two jobs and working 20-30 hours a week. So if I can do it, you can. If it is your favorite school, then the hard work is worth it.

Answer 10

Go with Denver. You have a scholarship and they have a strong program in what you want to go into. When thinkig about your education I'd say those are the top two things to consider. Boston is a great city, but you'll be paying college bills for the rest of your life if you go there.