I am going to throw a baby shower for my daughter and I really had no intensions on including my ex's family. I just figured they could do their own thing. I received a call last night saying how I really hurt their feelings and how they really wanted to be part of the shower.
Should I let them be included in the shower?
2007-03-16 04:47:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOT TO BE RUDE BUT THE BABY SHOWER IS NOT ABOUT YOU...IT'S ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER AND HER UNBORN CHILD. DO YOU THINK YOUR DAUGHTER WILL WANT THEM THERE? OF COURSE YOU DON'T WANT YOU EX'S FAMILY THERE.... IF I WAS YOU I WOULDN'T EITHER. HOWEVER THIS YOUR DAUGHTER'S DAY. DO WHAT'S BEST FOR HER, NOT YOU OR YOUR EX'S FAMILY. GOOD LUCK!!!! THE SHOWER WILL TURN OUT GREAT....WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR EX'S FAMILY
2007-03-16 04:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by tatyana17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, what is your daughter's relationship with your ex's family? Is she close to them? Remember, the shower is for her. Did you consult her to find out who she wanted to invite?
Whether you include them or not, an awkward situation has been created. If you invite them, they'll be some resentment on their part from your initial snub. If you don't invite them, it will just lead to more hostilities down the road. Even before your grandchild gets here, there's going to be battle lines drawn over things the child had nothing to do with. This is no way for the child to be welcomed into the world.
Talk to your daughter and get her thoughts. Set aside your own issues about your ex and his family because this is not about you. Don't pursuade your daughter to do anything other than what SHE wants. If she wants your ex's family there, invite them graciously. When they come, suck it up and be the best hostess possible. Apologize for being not being thoughtful, then leave it alone.
Don't be small and bitter. Whether you like it or not, these people will be in your grandchild's life. Working from your own agenda, other than what's best for your daughter and her child, will come back to bite you on the butt if you're not careful.
2007-03-16 12:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends:
1. Does your daughter want them included? Biggest issue.
2. Do you have a husband whose family you are inviting? If answer is yes, don't invite ex's family.
2007-03-16 11:51:42 · answer #3 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they were close to your daughter then yes you should invite them for your daughter but if they werent then they are not apart of your family anymore they dont need any conntaact anymore they lost their chance when there son ruined his chances with you hope you have fun at the baby shower tell your daughter congratulations
2007-03-16 11:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by monica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you need to include them. This doesn't mean they need to take part in the planning, but you should invite them. They are, after all, your daughter's relatives and your daughter did not get a divorce...you did!
2007-03-16 11:53:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it a surprise shower? If not, then I would ask your daughter what she wants. If she wants them then I would invited them but if she doesn't then don't and do the shower how you originally planned.
2007-03-16 11:52:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. If they want to give her a baby shower, that's fine. Just invite your family and her friends, and then they can have their own for her. You aren't being mean, just realistic. Why add stress to a pregnant woman, and I'm sure that's what would happen.
2007-03-16 11:51:12 · answer #7 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes you should..you need to consider how lucky one is to have sooo many people who love and care about this baby that they would get their feelings hurt over it.
Everyone needs to learn to get along for the best of everyone
2007-03-16 11:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
that all depends on how long you guys were married and how close you were to the family. When my mom thru one for my sister she invited the ex's family but there were married for 18 years.
2007-03-16 11:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would probably be ok, if you can all get along and be respectful.
i guess this would be a problem situation for many.... so if you decide to invite them after all, tell them you didnt mean to hurt anyone's feelings. that might smooth things over.
also, what does your daughter want?
2007-03-16 11:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋