me and my husabnd love each-other alot, well he says he does, but latley we just started marriage counsling, and he has been very distant. he doesnt want to do things with me anynore unless he profits from it. he says he loves me, but his actions say different, every time we fight he tells me that he doesnt love and and that he wants me and are new 3 month old son gone and out of his life, he just wants it to be him and his kids that he has from his relationship before we got together. but then the next day its back to i love u. i am confused, what is he really trying to tell me? i need some advice and words of wisdom. please help me try to understand.
2007-03-16 04:34:46 · 24 answers · asked by greengrass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think he sounds cruel.......i would get a divorce and find someone who is nice and will be in it for the long haul
2007-03-16 04:39:47 · answer #1 · answered by ladybug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the good news is that you are going to counseling - it's very difficult for men to admit they have a problem let alone go and talk to a stranger about it, so that is a good sign. The bad news is it doesn't sound as if the counseling is working. If he's telling you one day he doesn't want you, and then the next he's all over you, he's either bi-polar or he's rearing up to be an abusive husband. They knock the hell out of their wives one minute and then love them and buy them presents the next. He sounds as if he has some issues that may or may not be about you. You deserve better than someone mistreating you as he's doing. And you can't hardly live your life on pins and needles - being happy only when he's happy and having your life turned upside down when he's not. You have a baby to think about and you will have to raise it with or without him. But first YOU must be mentally stable and happy - that kind of stress is very hard for your unborn child, studies have shown that babies born under extreme stress tend to have low birth weights and are susceptible to various mental issues. If he doesn't change his ways, you may have to do what he's asking and just leave. For now, continue to see that counselor and let him/her know what's going on. Good luck.
2007-03-16 12:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to tell you that he doesn't love you enough. This marriage was a big mistake. If he told you he wants you and the baby out of his life, then give him his wish...I would pack up while he is at work and leave him. He is not worth your devotion and love. This clown is a big zero and you being so upset over this creep doesn't make sense. Get some strength through prayer and from family support and get back your self esteem. You also may have to see a divorce lawyer. He is not worthy of you and your son. As I said before, pack up and leave him and if you can go home stay there and don't go back with him under any circumstances. After healing a little bit, file for divorce. With a guy like this, things will get worse not better...Good Luck to You.
2007-03-16 12:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might be going through a change of life,men can be jerks at sometimes.give counseling a chance and if it don't work divorce him im sure there is someone out there that will love you no matter what even if you have a fight he should love you unconditionally.my ex was just like what you are saying ,but then after i left him i found a wonderful man,im sure you will to.this could also mean a man is cheating,i hate to tell you that but that may be the case
2007-03-16 11:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by marines_sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, marriage is a problem! Get a divorce and never get married again. People always thumbs down my replies to this subject but then again, why are most if not all marriages such a pain in the ***? If it was so great and everyone was happy then I'd just go away, but I'm right and most people can't handle the truth. You were born a single person and you die a single person. Why try to F/up your life and that of another person by legally agreeing to be "happy til you die". That is the biggest crock of crap I've ever heard.
Down with Marriage! Don't do it!!!
2007-03-16 11:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does your hubby has any problem at work ? Does he has financial problem ? Check why is he behaving in this manner. I belief, he still needs U and your child. The only problem is there is something that bothers him much until he is unable to cope. Try to talk to him when he is in good mood. Help him out and find a reasonable solution. If U are able to handle it and resolve the problem, I think he will be happier than ever to be with U and your child. Good luck.
2007-03-16 11:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by atbt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually it sounds like he really does want out. even if he didn't and tells you he loves you, that doesn't explain the other nasty stuff he's been saying. i don't care what kind of issues he may be having, that's just wrong. have you two discussed what he's been saying with the counselor? you could try a separation. i know it isn't easy but it's probably better than what you're dealing with now. you may have to face the fact that he does want out. best of luck to you.
2007-03-16 11:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could have things going on in his head that have nothing to do with you but since you are the person that he is closest with he unconsciously takes it out on you. Just keep going to counseling and try to work on it. If you love him then it is worth the fight.
2007-03-16 21:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Vicki B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow threw on his words just once and see what happens..if he loves you he will want you back...but if he doesn't he will leave you ..why would anyone want to be with someone they love but they don't love them back...It might be that the new baby is putting alot of stress and worry on him also...tell him how he makes you feel and that you love him and want to be their even when his not in the best of moods..that your child was made out of love from you and him and that you want him to help raise the baby so he can be a respected citizen...
2007-03-16 11:42:26 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if he is sorry he married u, and wishes he hadn't. he is beginning to disconnect from u, could he be seeing his ex, the mother of his other children? i would not believe any words he speaks, his actions speak louder. actions show us how a person really feels, and what direction the marriage is going. he sounds as if he really has mixed feelings on just what he wants from life, he could be still in love with his ex.
2007-03-16 11:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, we seem to have the same problem, as soon as a disagreement starts her answer is why don't you leave then. But I get alot of I love you's days after. I am perplexed as you.
2007-03-16 11:42:23 · answer #11 · answered by seaking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋