Friends?Serious answers only pls?

Question

I haven't spoken to my close female friend for 4 months-I wanted a break from her,as we got too close(I had feelings for her)she wanted to be friends.4 WEEKS AGO she txt me that our FRIENDSHIP IS OVER!That I should move on wth my life and she wishes me all the best.

That SAME WEEK we met at a friends reunion party,we spoke a lot,but she still looked hurt+uncomfortable at times.

At the end of the night,she hugged me tightly,said "take care hun and I'll see you at the nxt roadtrip"

This week I sent a email(via Facebook) if I could add her as my friend on Facebook.THATS ALL I ASKED,NOTHING ELSE.She wrote bck: asking how I am,what she done on her wkn and said I can add her "as a friend lol".

I wrote bck saying I'm busy at work and work wth too many women(which I do).She wrote back saying "Have fun with the ladies at work" - WHY she write that???

Wrote bck saying I have been having too much fun and she's not replied since.

Did she mean the friendship is over?Advice pls..

I'm confused wth her behaviour as she said our friendship is over.Our mutual friends are just as confused as I am!

Why be nice to someone if you don't have too?I don't see her around on a daily basis.Not contacted her since-I don't intend to either.

How wud you feel if someone says ur not friends and then acts as if you still are?!!!! honestly!

IF U DON'T WANT TO ANSWER-THEN DON'T!!!!

Answer 1

It sounds to me like she is trying to keep her distance. I think she would like to be friends, but is worried that you may still have feelings for her. Just relax and go with the flow. When you see her, enjoy your time together as friends. If you feel like talking to her email her. I really think she is trying to keep a balance in your friendship. Good luck.

Answer 2

She probably doesn't feel comfortable being friends with you when she knows you want more than she's willing to give you.

I can't help but feel, though, that you were looking into some of her comments too deeply - ok, she said you could add her as a friend, so what? I don't see what your quote ("as a friend lol") is supposed to show. Maybe she added 'lol' because it seemed strange to her that you asked instead of just adding her.
"Have fun with the ladies at work" also seems like a throwaway comment to me - I can imagine using it with friends and not meaning anything particularly exciting by it. She was just responding to your 'I work with too many women' comment, that's all.
Just because she didn't reply when you said 'I've been having too much fun' doesn't necessarily mean that anything's happened. Maybe she just didn't have anything more to say at the time. However, saying 'I'm having too much fun' sounds a) like you're sleeping your way around town and b) like you're trying to make her jealous, which may also be a reason why she didn't reply. If you're trying to make her jealous, you're obviously not over her.

I'm a bit confused about the order that these things happened in - did she say your friendship was over after the above comments or before them? I can't say for definite why she said that, but I can imagine that your feelings for her may have played a part in it. The fact that you hadn't spoken to her in 4 months may have been involved too. What kind of close friend just doesn't contact you for 4 months?! Did you tell her about your feelings just before the silent 4 months? In this case, your sudden silence probably made her feel really awkward and she probably thinks you didn't contact her for so long because you're not able to just be friends with her. Looking for hidden messages in innocent comments isn't helpful either.

Maybe she was just upset when she told you the friendship was over, and couldn't imagine being able to be friends with you again. The only way you're ever going to know for definite is to ask her.

[Edit:] Oh for goodness' sake! I can't believe how many times you've posted the exact same question. This is ridiculous! How long is this going to go on for?! In your previous posts you've said that you're over her and you just want to be friends with her, but your multiple posts on here suggest otherwise. In fact, you sound obsessed with her. Get a grip! Go and talk to the girl instead of whinging about the situation on here. That's the only way you're going to get any real answers, because all we can do is guess what she may have been thinking.

Answer 3

I don't know if this is right, but it sounds like shes confused how she feels about you... because maybe she didnt like you when you liked her... but now she does... and after sending that text she may regret it... also saying stuff about having fun with the ladies it sounds like shes slightly jealous but im not sure... maybe she would rather not be friends than have been a couple and risked the chance of you breaking up and then being angry with each other for the rest of your life?! I don't think she truely doesn't want your friendship to be over... but don't go by everything i've said... its just how i would take it!! hope i helped!!

Answer 4

When she first said that the friendship was over, that may have been emotions talking.
Your talking at the party helped since she hugged and said "See you"
You allowed 3 weeks to pass ... so not pushy ... that was good.
You raised the point that there are a lot of women where you work. Her "have fun" was continuing that joke. your "too much fun..." may have gotten her wondering.

Get a small group of mutual friends to go somewhere and invite her along. (Safety in numbers). Even if it is only 2 other friends to go bowling with.

Without talking, you may reach the wrong conclusion

Answer 5

You ask the same question every day about the same girl. A lot of people have spent time answering trying to give you advice and help you out. Yet still, you re-post the question. Its as though you're ignoring everyone. You need to listen to the advice people are giving you and put it into practice. Perhaps if you spent more time talking to these girls about your feelings and how they feel rather than posting and reposting endless pointless questions, you'd actually be able to answer the question yourself and hopefully learn a few things about women on the way.

Answer 6

It sounds like she wants to be your friend but she may be worried that you will try it on with her. She may be a little scared and confused about your sexuality and it may be taking her some getting used to. Give her a bit more time to come to terms and if she is a true friend she will still want to be friends and accept that you are still the same person no matter what.

If she needs to be told, make it clear to her that her friendship is important to you and you wouldn't do anything to jepordise that. Otherwords, in a polite way, try to tell her you wouldn't try it on with her.

It can be scary for someone to find out that there friend is gay espicially if you have been friends for a long time. I had a really good mate called Ben. We were really close and I liked him a lot more than just being a friend but he didn't care about me in that way. Instead he would have a new girlfriend almost every week. After knowing him for four years, he finally told me that he liked men and not girls. He broke my heart but he was still the same person I had been friends with all that time. He was still Ben and I accepted we would never be together and supported him when he told his family. I was there when he went on his first date with a bloke and was there when that bloke broke his heart. We are not as close now as he moved 120 miles away but his parents still live up the road from me and when he visits them, he comes to see how I am doing. I am glad I didn't reject him as a friend and if your friend is a true friend, she will realise you are still you no matter what.

Good luck

Answer 7

Dude, you made the friendship awkward when she found out you had feelings for her. So I'm sure she's backing off.

Sure, you guys can still be friends but why would you even write about having too many women? That's definitely an annoying thing to write, escpecially if she's not interested in you. I wouldn't have responded either.

Answer 8

maybe you could write her a handwritten letter start off by mentioning things you appreciate about her fun you had together. let her know you want know if you should still text and email communicate with her by talking on the phone as when you text or email what you say can be interpreted differently than how you meant arrange to meet up for a chat during the day and tell her how you feel about how you feel ask her if you've upset her

Answer 9

To be honest you sound very intense and you're obviously a bit obsessed about this as you have asked this question on here more than once! The bottom line is she has moved on and things will never be the same. You are clearly a bit much for her to handle and have the possibility to be a bit scary. She has distanced herself but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you to back off (she may be a bit scared of your reaction???).

Answer 10

Dear Confused ,
i feel the best solution for you is to just " let go ", put the situation down to one of life`s many experiences, and move on !
There is a whole life ahead of you out there !, in a while you would have forgotten all about this particular scenario !