is this a good peom? rate 1-10 10 is the best! and say why? please?

Question

today she's crying
tomarrow she's dying
no one is there
no one to care
left alone is a world of hate
left to suffer by untold fate

loving whose love has long since gone
not to be right but eternally wrong
hidden soon by shodow not sun
as soon as its dark her life will be done

knowing her pain and sorrow unseen
she falls into an endless dream
no one will stop
no one will cry
alone she lived
alone she will die

remember these words her last to be said
she is unspoken when she is dead
say your good byes
she losing the fight
forever she loves you
forever goodnight

Answer 1

Very depressing. I would rate it a 4. And some typos are there too.

Answer 2

professionally, i would give it an 8. as for a class submission, u might recieve a 9 and if u correct it a 10. it is quite a beautifully sad poem that has a strong beginning and unlike most movies we rush to see at the theatre, it has an end which does not disappoint.
the way in which you evoke emotions from the reader with such ease is quite impressionable which is lacking inmost of our young writers and poets of today but when submitting pieces for criticism- especially online where persons can be brutal... please check spelling
stanza 2 line 4 "shodow?"

last stanza, line 1: what were her last words u said we should remember? u used the term "these"... where are they? show us.
please realise u gave us the impression she died alone. who did she speak them to? a passerby? a nurse from a hospice? on a piece of note?

overall i think this poem is beautifully writ and u can probably enter it in a competition somewhere. continue to write. there is always room for improvement but do not get it twisted: u r good!!

Answer 3

Very deep and moving, the flaw was quite unqiue. I like it ;) pretty meaningful, it gave me that message of sharing my love and opening my heart. It touched me. Those were powerful words that moved my emotions. I like it, especially because it made me feel.

I would say, 9/10. ;) Excellent.

I didn't put 10 because the grammar wasn't what I would've prefered: commas, fullstops, semicolons, caps, etc. and the rhyme started out well, but then it turned into freestyle poetry. The rhyming just seemed to get more and more off.

Some parts confused me too, because several lines suggested that it's going to reveal more about her, but the answer didn't really come along.

Overall, I liked the poem. ;) Wouldn't mind reading this in a poetry book. :) ... would like it, actually. Lol.

Answer 4

Wow. I give you a 9. It is a good poem and I am sure alot of people can relate to it. I think the person is dying alone from depression, maybe not a total suicide but very lonely and depressed.

Answer 5

3/10.
The only good stanza was

"loving whose love has long since gone
not to be right but eternally wrong"

It's generic, and juvenile otherwise - sounds like a middle school angst poem.

Answer 6

8 3/4 that is very emotional. I was unclear as to whether the person was dying from disease or suicide tho. very good poem gave me goosebumps

Answer 7

i admire the lack of ability of grammar in this piece 9 from me. all and sundry else seems to think of you will possibly be able to desire to have suited grammar. i doubt they understand that making use of extraordinary grammar and spelling will shine out from different poems so your artwork wont mixture in, many familiar poets write with out grammar and function become wealthy using fact of it. i additionally love the form you describe your friendship! keep Writing!!