I really need your input, answer honestly!?

Question

My husband has some phone numbers of some women that he has met at various job sites as he works out of town. He swears that they are only friends and that it is no big deal. (He has never tried to hide this from me.) I had a Myspace account and was chatting with men and I told him about it. He became VERY jealous, so for the sake of argument I deleted the account. Now I wonder how often he calls or sees these women. I had numbers of several men but I threw them all away and now I wish I hadn't, if he can have a womans number shouldn't I be able to carry around a mans? By the way we have been married for 24 years and the sex is great. So what do you think?

Okay guys, I never said I slept with any of these men. We mostly chatted about our significant other. And how the day was going. You know casual chatting. And just so you know, he has cheated in the past. I have NEVER cheated on him unless you consider the Myspace thing cheating.

Answer 1

You were trying to be open with him and he got uneccessarily jealous about the myspace account. That bothers me. Could his jealousy may stem from his own infidelities?

He has numbers of women he met at various job sites. "Met" as in worked with directly? If he doesn't do business with these women, they don't need to be in his life. There is no room for other people in your marriage. You both need to be willing to give those things up. You gave up yours and it's his turn to show faith in the marriage and do the same.

Answer 2

This is a tough one bc he is out of town and you didn't say how long he has worked out of town for his job...if it's years, then most women would prob have to assume he is having friendly afffairs of any kind..from talking to much more...
Let me ask you the question..
should a married man have other womens' numbers from out of town? and even if he told you about them, (which makes it seem out in the open and not hiding it from you because you know and al that crap) why should he need women friends when he could just call you? (well, to most this is obvious also).....cell phone calls are free nights and weekends too, right?
if your answer is no to the above, then you have your answer...right?
now, that asked, maybe tell him if they are only friends then he wont mind giving you the numbers to call anytime you want also... you could use a few gf's too haha! his friends should be your friends too shouldn't they? meant sarcasticly
so, in the end get a new MY Space account and learn how to delete the History and cookies and all that and get some new numbers for yourself again or get the old ones again..and make up a few and leave them lying around ! haha! if he doesn't like it too bad... what's fair for the goose is fair for the gander ...
and go have a complete test done on yourself to make sure you dont have any diseases
good luck

Answer 3

It is never wise to fix a problem (Which might not even be a problem) with something that might turn into a problem.

Two No's doesn't make a right!

It will not help the situation if you carry men's numbers around or chat to men on line knowing your husband doesn't like it. If he finds out you only make yourself guilty to the same things you are loosing trust in him for.
Keep your side clean.

Then - you need to tell him how you feel, what you are afraid of. You must have an open relationship and talk to each other.
Tell him it upsets you to find numbers of woman - even if he says they are just friends - it makes you feel insecure.

Be honest about it and your feelings - and ask him to be honest with you.
You will work things out.

Good Luck

Answer 4

Maybe I'm just "old school" but my husband having another woman's phone number would be a huge deal to me - I can understand having a business contact's phone number, but if he's calling them for anything other than business, I would have a problem with that!! I would never have a man's phone number, and my husband would never have a woman's phone number. That being said, I don't necessarily think your husband is cheating - but this double standard is unacceptable!! You either both can have friends of the opposite sex that you call - or neither of you can. Talk to him about it and decide which it's going to be.

Answer 5

I have a job where I have to deal with contractors and I have some of the main people saved in my phone. My husband understands and doesn't care really. The only time that he has ever said anything about it is when I am at home with my family and they call to tell me something or ask a question.

So it may be only that he works with them that he has their numbers. I would check the bill and see how long and often that they talk if you think that he is cheating.

Answer 6

If the two of you love and are faithful to each other, then why the other women and men in your lives? Your husband having women "friends", especially out of town ones, and you chatting with other men online tells me that everything isn't right in your relationship. There's nothing wrong with couples having couples friends, but having opposite sex friends is just asking for an affair to happen. Personally, I'd be highly suspicious of my husband having other women's phone numbers , especially when he works out of town. If you deleted your myspace account for him, then he needs to return the favor and delete ALL of his women "friends" numbers. If I were you, I'd also be encouraging him to find a job that keeps him at home at night. I don't mean to be an alarmist, but there is just something really wrong with a married man who works out of town having the phone numbers of other women in his phone. Sorry, but I'd be very surprised if your husband ISN'T having affairs with one or more of these women. The temptation is too great and most men are too weak to resist sex with other women.

Answer 7

Everybody has to stop with numbers and myspace accounts. That solves the problem. Even if its all innocent it doesnt look good. Why would a man need phone numbers if its not truly work related. I dont know I just wouldnt do it. Who knows where either one could lead.

Answer 8

I say whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
He shouldnt have a problem with your guy friends because he feels u should be ok with his girl friends.
I would tell him, show me the same respect and get rid of your girl friends' numbers then.
Plain and simple.
Also, be careful........its been my experience that if he is threatened by the male friends, then he has some things he is hiding himself. U may wanna check into that.
Dont mean to put up all the alarms, cause he may be faithful, but the accuser is usually the one doing it and u dont need to be made a fool of.
Good luck hun.

Answer 9

I think you and your husband do not know what it is to have a committed relationship. There are many ways a person can make up reasons and excuses to cover up there deception. Your husband has chosen to be deceiving you by being open and casual about his having numbers of other women. He has learn ed that by him being open about it has helped to fool you into thinking he is being honest about not cheating. He is a married man and should not be having numbers of women for any reason other than for family members or business purposes. You sound to be very naive and you need to stop playing the all believing wife. His behaviour would be a clear red flag to me that he is cheating. He obviously looks upon you as a pushover who will believe any ******** story he tells you. Stop emailing other guys, stand up for yourself and regain the respect your husband has lost for you as his wife whom he pledged to be faithful to.

Answer 10

I don't know what is going on but somewhere down the line you guys developed trust issues that need to be worked out. He should keep his business contacts at work and you should not chat with guys if there is anything sexy going on. Now both of you need to compromise on this and celebrate wedding anniversary 25 in style. Good Luck.