Do you agree with participating in premarital sex?

Question

Are there any benefits of having premarital sex?
The argument is usually "would you buy a car without test driving it first". I think this is very shallow to compare buying a car to having premarital sex.

Just like it would be shallow to say..."Even a brand new Mercedes-Benz comes with a spare tire" and so it is ok to have another person "on the side" when you are in a relationship.

My point is-- if one is going to oversimplify their sexuality by making their sexuality analogous with buying a car, don't be suprised if the partner YOU choose decides to embrace the second analogy and decide to cheat on you. And then YOU try to throw out words like trust, committment, vows, morals and values. Cars don't have those things. Remember.

Do you agree that we oversimply the concept of premarital sex?

Answer 1

I agree with you!! Why not wait?? Get some self control and have a little respect for yourself!!

Answer 2

I’m sorry, but is not being shallow at all. Is not about sex, is about everything.

People don’t understand that when you get marry, you are committing to each other, and now you have embraced in a journey of love, caring, understanding, sacrificing, and most important, creating a new family.

This is the main reason you have to get to know each other before you make the final step. Thos who get marry right after they met, usually don’t last. Unless they are very lucky and have lots of patiences and understanding, that matrimony is doomed. And money plays a very big factor in the game too. No money, no game. Simple.

In this society we have made ourselves, we must have money, a stable job (or be a lucky bastard and win a big lottery) to be able to get marry, otherwise you will have nothing to support your new family, and you do need a house, food, clothes, cars, or at least a bike to move around, right?

The best thing a couple can do is to move together PRIOR to marriage. Maybe they can become officially engaged first, then move together, and start living a matrimony life. Share bills, house, everything, sleep together, HAVE SEX (yes, make love, have sex, do everything)… be husband and wife. And DO NOT HAVE KIDS YET.

If things go well, then matrimony will be just a signature and a fancy dress and party or reception, but the couple will be doing already just fine. Otherwise, is better to separate prior to matrimony, and better yet, prior to babies, you don’t have to deal with a divorce, child support, and worse, the trauma it gives to the children to have divorced parents.

And one last thing, about comparing matrimony with “buying a car”. Whoever said that, is a complete idiot and a moron that has no clue yet about real life and what it is to be married.

A car is a piece of metal, plastic and rubber that won’t be around forever (unless you are a freak and fanatic of your old car, but that is a different story). But a husband or wife will be with you for the rest of your life, as your lover, best friend, and the person that will help you and support you when you need it.

People, grow up already please.

Answer 3

In my opinion, premarital sex can be beneficial to a healthy relationship. Of course, I'm also of the opinion that living together prior to marriage is also a good idea. There are many people that will argue with both of these opinions.

But these issues should not be approached until the relationship has matured beyond the "courting" stage. The couple should have the intent to take the relationship all the way so that these issues become simple aspects of the overall relationship, rather than major factors in its development.

Regarding oversimplifying the issue, I don't think that is the case. I think that most people aren't thinking at all regarding the matter. They are just following their impulses and hormonal desires.

Answer 4

I think the analogy should have less to do with technique and more to do with knowledge of one's sex drive. Virgins are horny. There is no denying this. They don't know what they are getting into, they have no experience and can masturbate 'til the cows come home, but will never know what their sex drive is like.

Technique can be taught to any willing partner.

As for premarital sex, personally, I've had some experience including lesbian, threesome and I've had a few male partners in the past, before this experience monogamy? Why? I didn't know though I had heard all the rhetoric. Coming from a Christian upbringing, I know damn well some would agrue, well you shouldn't have to actually touch the flame to know it hurts, but humans need to learn things the hard way and often as humans, we enjoy it. It's life. Those times of sexual experimentation were good times, but I am glad that they are over.

Does my past experience cheapen my experience with my partner? Definitely not! In fact, I think it enhances it. I now have a knowledge I wouldn't have had if I didn't eat the proverbial forbidden fruit and I appreciate sex with my partner so much more for it.

In short, premarital sex? It's not for everyone, but it was most definitely for me!

Answer 5

I would say that it is okay if those two people care very much about each other. If those two people want to...err, "test drive" it, then it's all right with me because it's true that oftentimes, sexual incompatibility causes relationships to fail, out of marriage and in marriages. In both casual and serious relationships, precaution should be used to prevent accidental pregnancies if creating a child is not an intention besides pleasure. Add a baby, and possibly religion, and personal values in the mix, and it could get very messy depending whether you're pro-life or pro-choice. It's a terrible thing for two people to go through if they were felt like they had to get married if someone got pregnant or if the relationship fell apart because she had a abortion. Nobody truly wants to get an abortion even if they made the choice to do so.

If someone decides to engage in pre-marital sex with just one or more partners, they should know that there is more than just sex- pregnancy and STD risks are also involved, there are feelings too and I've seen too many people whose self-esteem suffered terribly because they later met someone they wished they saved themselves for.

Answer 6

The only other reason I hear for not having premarital sex is because of a person's religion. So if both parties do not belong to a religion that conflicts with the idea premarital sex then I don't see the problem with it. It's good for two people to find out if they are sexually compatible as sex is important in marriage. You want to get to know each other sexually and find out if you both "click" in that department. That said, if there are any problems I would hope that that wouldn't stop the two people from getting married. One would hope that their love is strong enough to overcome that type of problem, but I digress. As long as both people are willing partners and their religions allow it, I think it's okay.

I think you're right about people oversimplifying premarital sex by comparing them to car analogies but I think people oversimplify relationships and marriage as a whole. Nothing is important or sacred anymore and it seems perfectly okay in today's society for people to cheat. It seems like EVERYONE cheats nowadays so that type of mindset isn't at all suprising, it's just sad.

I'd just like to add that it's crazy how many people in here are like "If the sex sucked I wouldn't marry them" So you mean to tell me if you found your soul mate and were completely, madly, head-over-heels, I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you in love with this person and they happened to not be your cup of tea in the bedroom, you would throw it all away in favor of someone who was good in bed? No "I'd try to make it work", no "I'd show them what I like", no "I'd see a sex therapist with them" Nah, just kick them to the curb and find someone else! I guess this is why the divorce rate is so high in this country! People are so quick to throw in the towel!

Answer 7

I think my favorite analogy is, "Would you jump out of an airplane without first checking the parachute strictly because a priest told you not to?"

The reason people simplify concepts is because that is easier to understand. Jesus spoke in parable, a short story to convey and idea. The same is true for the car story, it is to convey an idea. An analogy and is not meant to be taken literally.

Premarital sex is simple. Sex before marriage. That is all it is, nothing more, nothing less. It is when there is moral and religious meaning attached to it that it becomes complex. Depending on a person's belief system the idea may or may not be complex.

Answer 8

Your view will replace in this difficulty as you become older. You sound exceedingly youthful. there is no longer some thing incorrect w/ 2 human beings, who're consenting adults both keen and desirous to have sex w/ one yet another, who may or received't be courting ( both situations ensue each of the time in real existence!! ) and practice secure sex and use protection. circumstances have replaced, and very seldom, if everyone says what you suggested you've faith and then sticks with it!!!! in case your nevertheless a virgin once you get married, then sturdy for you!!! in case your no longer, nevertheless sturdy for you!!! that's not incorrect to do what you're made to need to do obviously as human beings ....... one being having sex. that's regularly occurring, and do not choose others for making options that are not your human being! that's none of your corporation, truly. more beneficial importantly, It does no longer impression you!!! You look very sheltered!!!! strengthen up a touch. an extra beneficial issue........i don't know what guy is going to marry a woman whom he hasn't ever had sex with!!! It would not artwork that way, until eventually you marry another bible thumper who thinks a similar issue as you!!!

Answer 9

It's a pretty lame analogy, but the idea is correct. When you get married, it's supposed to be forever. Sex is very, very important to some people and if they marry someone they are sexually incompatible with, it WILL spell disaster. The person who wants more sex will feel cheated and the person who prefers less will feel coerced. So yeah, I'm in favor of premarital sex when it's in a committed relationship.

Answer 10

I think that premarital sex should only be practiced by adults. I hate seeing question on here like "this boy I like wants to have sex. should I do it? I am only 15. I really love him" It makes me angry someone could be that stupid. At 15 you don't even know what love is much less be having sex. And the "He said he wants to marry me." I have to be careful when I answer these question not to hurt someones feeling by calling them an idiot. I think it is way oversimplified for the youth of today. Good question!

Answer 11

All I can tell you is my own personal experience. The first guy I had sex with was the SMALLEST P*&IS in the world! If I had married him first, seen that, and hmmmm, had the worst sexual experience of my life EVER, I would have divorced him or had to get a boyfriend on the side.

The husband I'm married to now, he is the BEST man EVER that any woman could ever hope for in bed. Did it have anything to do with marriage? Admittedly, yes. Because if he stunk in bed, I would not have married him. I have a healthy sexual appetite and bad lover just wouldn't cut it.