my hubby is a great guy ,, a good son a great guy at work..he is brilliant ... but it has always been that we dont click .. the way lovers..or sposes do ???
i have two boys ...and this is the 7th year of our marriage..i had an arranged marriage.
I feel that we are together just cos we are married ... i dont think i can get seperate cos culture wise it will be unacceptable besides i do not earn ..!!
My emotional life is at a setback . i stay with my in laws . my mil is cute but more than half the times im unable to set my kids on routine(1.5 years old) and systmise them because of her interference .... i just have no clue how to go about things.
? if it matters ....i had developed stronmg feelings for another guy who now is married ,,, i did have emotions for him... now physicals .!!!!
the Q is what do i do?? how can i make my life on the "move"
2007-03-16 03:11:16 · 14 answers · asked by barley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i meant "no physicals"
sorry for the typos.
he is (hubby) always at office or wehn home sleeping . we give space to each other ... too much space i think . im feeling so depressed!
2007-03-16 03:16:18 · update #1
I feel for you this sounds like a bad situation for you because you really sound unhappy. I would try to make my marriage happy if I had no other choice but to stay in the marriage. you can't lust after the other guy because the both of you are married, and that would be morally wrong. So you may need to keep your distance from this guy and ask tell your hubby that the 2 of you need to move and maybe you will get some ideas about spicing up your relationship and bringing some zing into the bedroom and go out and enjoy each others company with no one else around. Good Luck! Also prayer works!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-16 03:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by sweet p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mess, but you can make things better.
Marriage is hard work. Whether your marriage was aranged or you found each other on your own.
Don't think for a minute that this married guy is a dream come true. All men (am women) have flaws and you're usually trading one set of problems for another when you leave one man for another. Unless your current relationship is abusive, try some things to make it better.
My mother used to tell me that only boring people get bored. That said, if you want more fire in your relationship see how you could light a spark and fan the flames. Read some books in his areas of interest and see if that gives you a little more to talk about.
And as far as not having someone to watch your kids while you and your husband go out (I think that's what you meant), neither do I usually. Find things you can do as a family. Your kids will appreciate the attention and THAT should also give you something talk about with your husband.
Shared experiences bring people together. Share more of your mind and more activities with your husband.
I hope that's helpful.
2007-03-16 10:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all -DO NOT ACT ON THE FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER GUY!!! Having an affair will only make drama and problems for you-your husband could divorce you and keep the kids!! Get involved at your childrens school or at your place of worship. Do things to help others and you may find your peaceful home to be a refuge from all the problems people bring to you. Work with your mother in law on getting the children on a good schedule. You are mistaking the thrill of lust for something good and honest to improve your life-no good comes from having an affair.
2007-03-16 10:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First or all, just because your marriage is rough doesn't mean you should wreck someone else's. Stay away from married men!
I guess because you chose to have an arranged marriage it will take more work to sustain it. You will have to work really hard with your husband to love each other.
Arranged marriages are a choice, and now you'll have to make the best of the choice you made. Be faithful to your husband and put all of your effort into your marriage.
2007-03-16 10:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of games that you can buy or even books that you can get at the bookstore that are great conversation starters. The game, Speak Love, Make Love is very good! You can also spend an evening with some wine and a book of "getting to know you" type content. You would be surprised what you and your spouse have never "discussed"!
2007-03-16 10:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by suehuelsing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where you from? I would say get a divorce and move out of the inlaws.. You are obviously not happy. I don't know where you are from...but... the feeling about another married man.. you totally need to get over that.. cuz imagine the married man'
s wife... that's messed up. Get a job too and take care of yourself. You don't need a man to take care of you!
That's a tough question...
2007-03-16 10:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is coming from experience. Get out and find your own interests something that relaxes and something you look forward to. Get away from the stress because if you don't you will just regret it later. Don't be afraid to enjoy relationships that give you pleasure and happiness. You deserve to have a better life but you wont get it if you don't take it.
2007-03-16 10:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by seaturtle36 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take a small vacation away from each other. Sounds like you don't give each other time to miss each other. If you are together 24/7 yes you will get bored of each other.
2007-03-16 10:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirt with your man, get to know him deeply. Figure out what he likes and you can talk about those subjects. Go out or go sight-seeing with each other. Don't cheat on him, though. If you like another guy now, you should've considered this before your marriage. It's too late.
2007-03-16 10:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would sit down and talk to your husband tell him you think it is time for you two to find more things to talk to each other about.. like go to the movies together or just find a common intrest that you to have
2007-03-16 10:15:50 · answer #10 · answered by Beth m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋