My wife asked me if I am attracted to my students (high schoolers). This is already an unfair question. I said 'no' at first, trying to keep from enduring her wrath. After a few hours I thought to myself "No. It is normal for some young girls to look attractive as well as young boys." I am not saying attractive as in wanting to physically realate to, but rather pretty or good-looking. My wife blew up! She went crazy on me and started callling me a pedophile! I understand she had many horrible experiences when she was a teenager involving older men, but I have NO interest in these girls! Incedentally, my wife is 35 but looks almost exactly the same as she did at 16. Does that make her unattractive now or unattractive then. Please advise.
2007-03-16 02:54:41 · 7 answers · asked by d_giovanni1 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My wife experienced sexual abuse by her brothers and was emotionally and physically abused by a man in a relationship for 19 years. She gets upset in the same way as your wife to certain answers.
When your wife asks such a question, you have to be very careful in how you answer. The best thing you can do is to carefully think out the answer to such a question.
Your answer could have been that you see the beauty in the young girls that they will have as women. There is no way to give a yes or no answer without getting into trouble.
The other thing that I do if I think my wife will have a bad reaction to the answer is to give her the answer that she wants, but not lie. You told her no and that is true. You are not attracted to the girls in the way that your wife was thinking and your answer was good enough.
Take care,
Troy
2007-03-16 03:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe is natural for a 30 year old man to feel attracted to high school girls since now in days girls look like women and age is not a big deal. I mean in my case I am a 23 year old women and I sometimes see younger guys attractive. And like you said "That does not mean I am going to act on my feelings." But if you are really thinking about doing something I suggest you think twice. Now about you telling your wife how you feel. I suggest you keep things like this to yourself down hidden in th closet. Your wife is 5 years older than you and she might feel threaten by those teenage girls looking hot and you know that she can even end up depressed by you just expressing yourself that much. I am a women and I want truth but I really would rather have my husband lie about seeing teenager girls attractive.
2007-03-16 03:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by My dreams are my sanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fine. I agree with the poster who said that today a lot of people that age look older. I'm 26, and I think some younger guys are attractive. I'm sure my husband thinks some younger girls are attractive. There's a difference between thinking someone is good-looking and actually feeling an attraction to them. For example, I think one of my husband's friends is physically attractive, but I don't feel "tempted" or "excited" around him or anything. He just has nice features. Plus, I think he's a total pig. But he has other friends that are physically good-looking but I don't think anything more of them than they are nice people that we hang out with. It's like looking at a paiting and saying, "wow, that's gorgeous" or something like that.
2007-03-16 06:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no longer something incorrect with being involved in older adult men; i come across various older adult men proper. everywhere from their 30's to 40's. What I do locate incorrect, inspite of the incontrovertible fact that, is relationship an older guy in the previous you're 18. you will possibly be able to desire to get your boyfriend into severe hardship. it is suited to call it quits and attempt lower back in 2 years. regrettably, some older adult men will take earnings of young women that take interest in them. be careful.
2016-10-18 12:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by rosen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without going into that aspect of your wife looking attractive or unattractive, let us help her overcome that trauma which is still lingering in her psyche. If she agrees, Star of Bethlehem, a Bach Flower Essence will help you. To know more about Bach Flower Essences, go to or encourage her to go to:
http://floweressencesintro.onlinecourse.com/
which is a free online course.
Wish both of you a very happy married life.
And by the way, it is perfectly normal for a person to find another person attractive irrespective of age.
2007-03-16 03:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by Swamy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow!. You are in deep s**t no matter what you think or say. Yes it is not fair. Don't try to rationalize. Do yourself a favor and find a job where you will not find your students attractive.
2007-03-16 03:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by andywho2006 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you really want them to like you. as you get older it is natural to want to be wanted by younger girls. just don't act out on it or you will be loved and hated by many men in jail.
2007-03-16 03:07:44 · answer #7 · answered by lucifer d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋