my son (10yrs) came home from school yesterday?

Question

and said he felt that his teacher had been on at him for nothing? he was looking at a piece of paper (which was the milk list) because he had seen his name on it, so as he was looking at it, his teacher said " thats not for you noisy kid!" loud enough for all his class to hear! even the class assistant said to the teacher that she felt that it was a bit harsh calling him that, and then the teacher just laughed! My son is not a naughty kid, he's bright and well mannered. He said the other day there was a boy laughing quitely next to him and she called my son and said are you laughing and he said back "sorry no miss" she said "are you being smart!?"but he wasnt. I feel as a mother I should go and have a word with his teacher, but my son said I should'nt he will deal with it? I;d like to see what everyone else thinks. Is he right? should I leave him to it and hope he can handel her or should I point out to the teacher that she is being unfair?

very good advice given by all. I went to my son's school and his teacher was in the playground, she came over to say hello and just said had I thougth my son was acting differenct at home? I said no but he did say he wasnt happy in class? she told me he may be hanging out with the wrong kid of kids. So she said she will keep an eye on him, as he is'nt a naughty child. I suggested she moved him off the table where the trouble is coming from. hopefully this will work. He seemed happier on friday.

Answer 1

I understand your feelings. That's really unfair of that teacher. But I think you should give some time to your boy. Besides, if he thinks he can cope with the stuff - that's ok. But of course if you hear of similar attitude once again, you should go to her and talk.

Answer 2

It could be the teacher has just been in a bad mood. I would personally give it 3 strikes. She has had 2. Your son might get embarsed if you go see her so make sure it would be after school. Depending on what your son is like you might only be being told what he wants you to hear and not that he was naughty and he wont do it again. I was a good child at school and only got in trouble 2 times at primary school - one cause someone set me up and the other cause I had done something wrong. But when I was in trouble for no reason I didnt tell anyone as I didnt feel they would believe me. But when I was in trouble I made it sound like I wasnt as bad as I had been. So I think your better waiting for another insident and then go and see if there is a problem then you can hear both sides and make a judgement. I hope it all works out ok.

Answer 3

When I was at school I had the same problem but I was 5 at the time & painfully shy which made it worse. I was horribly bullied & singled out by my teacher for no reason at all. I certainly wasn't naughty, she just took a dislike to me. I wish my Mum had done something about it as I really struggled at school & suffered with low self esteem for many years as a result. Sometimes these things blow over, but I'd keep a close eye on your son & if he seems unhappy about going to school then I would step in. I think it is fairly unlikely the teacher would become worse as cowards bully kids, however she may deny everything or pretend he is naughty in class to cover herself. The point is though, that even if he was naughty there is a way of dealing with this properly. Humiliation should not be tolerated under any circumstances. We don't send kids to school to undergo torture, we send them there to learn & trust that they are learning in a safe environment. A 10 year old can't deal with an adult bully alone. I hope you get it sorted out, it's an awful experience for your son, believe me! Nobody should have to go through that, but sadly it happens.

Answer 4

I taught 4th and 5th grade for a few years and there is no reason to demean a child like that... I think you should address it. It might just be the teachers sarcastic nature but as a teacher you have to realize that all children are not the same and some take it to heart. Maybe by talking with her she will ease up a little and if she doesn't, Id go right to the principal. A 10 yr old is still growing and learning. They do not have the skills to deal with a difficult adult. Or at least one that they have to see and learn from on a daily basis.

Answer 5

I think you should go speak to the teacher!! I know he is your son and you belive him but you have to remember there are two sides to every story!! Also how can a 10 year deal with this problem? I think you should speak to the teacher - don't be confrontational or anything, but just mention to her what your son has said and find out why s/he is being like that towards your son!! Let them have their say. They may not even know that their behaviour/comments are coming across in an undesired way. Also you could see the teacher without your son knowing, and mention to her/him that you don't want your son to find out about your conversation.

Answer 6

I understand the need to be momma bear. I have a 14year old 13 and 9. They have all had one teacher who kinda singles them out. I would not go and talk to teacher as a protective mom. If you do talk to teacher I would make it more like I was wondering how so and so is doing in your class. If she says something negative act shocked and say you will take care of it. I did this just last month talked to my son about what had happened. Teachers now a days feel very alone. if you make an effort to talk to her and let her know you are active, it will go a long way. I know it sounds horrible to say but my 13 year is great. But that doesn't mean that has not been pushing teachers buttons. Maybe she was upset about him not paying attention? like I told my son it stinks that you have a teacher who may not like you. But that's the world not everyone will like everyone you just have to learn to get along. I would worry about her feeling like you are trying to tell her what to do. If she gets mad he may become more of a target. Just a little sucking up so to speak may go a long way. Oh now the last teacher who was singling my son out... has nothing but praise for me. And my sons life is alot easier with that teacher. She even e-mails jokes =) hang in there

Answer 7

from your sons point of view he thinks if you speak to this teacher he will have more rows, but you can't allow the teacher to continue like this and you can't deal with it by having a quiet word, phone or go to the school and demand an appointment at the earliest date with the head of the school and this teacher and go from there, do not allow them to white wash this problem as a child over reacting because that is not acceptable, if your still not happy with the outcome you must put in a letter stating your concerns to the schools governors and the next step after that is the LEA, local education dept. please do not ignore this problem even if your son says he can deal with it, had a similar problem and had to deal with it and get this behaviour stopped in schools, i am a governaor of my sons school now and deal with pastoral care issues like this, i am also a qualified child and youth developement worker so my recommendation is to sort it now. all the best to you and your son

Answer 8

I think the teacher had a bad day. But as a parent, it is something I would probably address. Teachers get away with a lot because parents don't say anything. if you go to the teacher and let her know you know what happened, and that you didn't appreciate it, I'll bet you the teacher will watch her tone the next time.

Answer 9

My son is 12, so I believe I have a pretty good idea of what you're dealing with. From experience... you're probably not getting the 'whole' story. My suggestion, discuss it with the teacher .. before you point out that she is unfair.. The sad truth is ... way too many teachers ARE unfair. I do believe a discussion with the teacher would be the place to start. good luck !!!

Answer 10

Your son's behaviour at school may not mirror that at home but it's still not something to trivialise. You should make an appointment with the headteacher to voice your concerns. They can then ask the class assistant for their view on the incidents. Your son and the teacher may not have hit it off (that's life) but she should not make him feel uncomfortable for no reason, nor mock or belittle him in front of his peers.