She's 19 and has so far never had a relationship with either sex while she was trying to 'figure' her sexuality out. Her dad asked her how did she know that she was gay if she has never kissed or had sex with a bloke?
Her reply was how did HE know he was straight if he'd never kissed a lad.
How do people feel about this? Having to 'explore' before you know for certain? Why is it expected of the LBGT community to 'try' everything before we can deem ourselves gay but it is acceptable to be straight right off the bat without having tried the same sex?
2007-03-16 01:50:58 · 17 answers · asked by Emily M 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My coming out as gay/bi took years... I first thought when I was young then, tried it without anybody knowing and then I knew it was right for me. Im still not fully out as Im still coming to terms with it.. I took my time and seeing how some of my close friends rushed into it...coming out that is, I definately think I made the right choice in taking it slow and getting to know what was right for me. I was with men and women... I think Im bi but to avoid complications in my life I only date guys or girls and I have dated girls now steadily for a year so I think Im prob crossing the border!!
I think you just know... but maybe exploring and meeting a wide range of people (without losing your own self respect and dignity) can help her find out who she is and not to narrow herself to one sex exclusively until she is sure what she prefers.
All you can do is support her and if her family is still giving grief maybe have a word with them saying this is who she is..
Gay girls I know, all of them have slept with a guy at some stage... I think its a process that people go through before excepting that they are gay... Im not saying go do it to your friend... Im just saying what happened with my friends and that maybe completely the wrong thing for your friend to do.
Its a very good question to ask casue everyone is different. Hope everything works out well, your friend finds herself and her family accept who she is.
2007-03-17 04:47:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel certain about yourself, there is no need to "explore". I knew at a very young age that I was gay and had no desire or need to 'try' anything with the opposite sex.
But some people aren't sure of themselves, or what they want, or who they're attracted to and so they try different things. Nothing at all wrong with that.
She just has to decide what she wants and likes and make her own way in the world WITHOUT bowing to pressure from either friends or family.
If you're really her bud, just support whatever decision she makes.
2007-03-16 03:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by FTW 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-25 23:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 51 year old gay man and when I was younger, it was not as acceptable to be gay as it is now. I have been with a couple of girls just for an easier time (sorry girls). Maybe your friend feels the same, or just needs time to come to terms with her sexuality! If she is a friend, then love her as a friend and support her the best way you can!!!
2007-03-16 05:15:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid god created Adam and Eve , Man and Woman.
That's seen as normal, instinct.
Its not wrong to be gay, but some people still have old fashioned views. I disagree with "Don't knock it till you've tryed it" statement . Ive never had a gay experience, and am naturally attracted to the opposite sex . Does that mean I'm missing out on something ???? I don't think so ..
2007-03-16 02:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Her reply was of course correct. It is perfectly possible to know your sexual orientation before having sexual relations with someone. A huge part of our sexuality is in our minds, people seem to over look this fact & imagine it is purely physical. You have to be mentally attracted to a person for the physical side of things to work. This is just another example of a common misunderstanding of what being gay means.
2007-03-16 03:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because in our society it is wrong to be gay which i think is bull **** why judge people because of thier sexuality thier still the sam person you have always known. My best friend (male ) came out as gay i was the first person he told and i wasnt borthered he is still the same person. I think you knopw if ypour gay or not if you look at soome one the same sex and you can imagine you beeing with them sexualy then you could be gay but what ever somone chooses i think its acceptable =)
2007-03-16 02:04:00 · answer #7 · answered by lilshortyjess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are born with a sexuality and you just know without trying. Her dad is just a bit misguided and is from an older generation where they thought that you picked your sexuality.
I wish you friend luck with figuring it out. One day her dad will look back and feel embarressed
2007-03-16 02:13:53 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never eaten dog-meat before but I know I don't want to try it.
I'm shocked by the ignorance of your friends dad. When you know something as personal as this you just know, you don't need to test yourself. Challenging his daughter to test herself with a man doesn't mean she'll suddenly decide she's not gay. If she's sure of who she is her parents should be happy for her.
2007-03-16 04:16:22 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Divine ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her parents will be feeling sad for the loss of what they think is their little girl.I don`t think you have to try everything before you deem yourselves whatever you want but it is easy to be pulled along by peer pressure. Your friend needs space from both her parents who will want her to be `normal` and friends who may be unconsciously be pressurising her into being `gay`
2007-03-16 01:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋