Please help me with ideas , for an easier way to seperate a household ?

Question

I have been living with my 3 kids , and a man with his 3 kids(all under 11 years) for 4 yrs now . All 3 of mine want to seperate from them (so do I) . But his kids love us and seem to be having issues with it , and I think it is because of what he says to them about it . He is in OVER - love , with me , and this has been the most difficult obstacle I have ever had to face in my whole life ! I am feeling so guilty for this . At the same time trying to save up money , and look for a new place . Any ideas ?

Sorry - I should have said we were always roomates - only .

Answer 1

Sounds like he is a little possessive towards keeping you. Over in love is possessiveness. Been there. Save all the cash you can then tell him about leaving. Make sure you save the money first.

Answer 2

Is there any way to save this relationship counseling perhaps? Even though your kids also want to leave there will be some loss once the relationship is ended. If leaving is not an option I would suggest that you and your children once you are separated continue to see the other children for outings etc. so that they do not feel abandoned. Separation is going to be messy for all of you. Guilt however , serves no function except to drain you of precious energy that you are going to need to make this transition in your life. You are doing what you have to do in order to have an emotionally healthy relationship with yourself and your children. Assure the kids that you and the kids will still be a big part of your life but you need to live someplace else. Let them know that it is not their fault. Good Luck to all of you.

Answer 3

Yeah you seem to lack commitment or something. It could be such a magic time for everyone. It would be much harder to make it work but far more rewarding. And your kids are too young to have opinions of their own, they are just saying what they think you want to hear. Try truly living together instead of together apart.