Im a little worried about my partner. Im 30 weeks into a planned pregnancy with our first. He was really excited at first, but now the due date is looming he has become quiet and miserable. Everywhere he goes people are telling him that its really hard work, that he won't have any time for himelf, won't e able to do do anything but look after baby etc. Its really getting him down as he is a musician and although he works he also needs to practice a few hours a day, as well as go out some nights. i have tried to tell him its not just him looking after the baby, Im here to an we can work around it, that i wouldn't expect him to give up his music, but he just won't listen to me. How can i make him understand that yes life changes, but u don't have to give up everyrthing, there are ways around it. Its effecting me because i want this to be a happy time, not doom and gloom and I want him to think positively about having a child, not thay its all terrible.
2007-03-16 01:38:51 · 9 answers · asked by Serry's mum 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
My experience with musicians is that they are intelligent, intense people that think to much. I would assure him that the baby will be a joy in his life. It does get tough at times, but for the most part it is a joy. Look for ways to get help. I am a grandparent and love spending time with my grandchildren. There are allot of child programs that are safe, and educational.
2007-03-16 01:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Robert S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a brand new dad myself, I totally understand what he is feeling.
First of all, I think when people say "having a baby will change your life... you won't have time for anything" are really talking about the first few weeks. This time period is very intense and the baby needs a lot of attention. However, after this beginning period, the demands are more predictable and allow for mom or dad to continue to have a relatively normal life.
Having a new baby is definitely going to change things, and when you enjoy what you are already doing, its hard to just drop it for something else. After my baby was born, I quickly began to realize that the changes were positive ones. Change is scary, but often when we look back, we are happy that we made the changes we did.
Also, if you truly have a passion to do something else (like be a musician) this will not be stopped by having a baby.
2007-03-16 09:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by siggo8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has to make adjustments. With the first months of having that baby your personal life belongs to your baby. I'm sorry, I may get thumbs down for this, but your husband needs to grow up. Life changes. My husband and I liked to go to movies every weekend and go to sports bars. Can we do that now. Maybe once every two months. Why? Not because I can't find a babysitter but because we don't want to miss anything that may happen. We both were there when she rolled over, said her first word, laughed the first time, and crawled. You need to ask him what's more important....family? Or music? I wouldn't even have to ask my husband.
2007-03-16 08:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this was a planned pregnancy then didn't he think about his music before you got pregnant?I'm sure he did.People can be very over bearing and seem to have all the answers when its not them dealing with the situation.Try not to be overwhelmed by them.Being pregnant is very emotional and takes a tole natural on your body and dealing with anything extra can become very stressful.Try not to let others influence you both.If YOUR willing to make sacrifice's so he can still have his music,then that's all that matters.Having a child is a blessing,maybe your child will have musical talent as well.Good Luck and try not to allow people to affect your thinking on your relationship its yours not theirs after all.
2007-03-16 09:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just a little anxious. He'll turn around once he holds his new son or daughter for the first time.
I'm pretty sure all new parents feel that way when they are getting close to delivery time.
Try to do something together, like go out for a nice dinner or have a "blockbuster" night. That will make him feel temporarily better. Enjoy the peace now!
2007-03-16 08:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by Some Lady 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could get him to talk to a therapist, in your local area. If he gets his feelings out, he will feel better. And I know the therapist will insure him that yes life will change, but for the better. I'm sure he will change his mind once he see's that baby being born. Yes this is suppose to be a happy time for you and him. That's hard, I think it will be hard in the begining but he and you will get on track again. maybe you could get him to practice his music in the garage, or the basement. Good Luck!
2007-03-16 08:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just nervous about being a Daddy for the first time. I think once he sees and holds the baby that will go away. If not - I suggest that he talk to a therapist about his feelings. You want your baby to be in a safe and happy enviornment.
2007-03-16 09:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think once the child is born he will be overwhelmed with the amount of love for it. It's typical for the father to be worried about having a child, all sorts of things will be going through his head. Money will be an issue, but once he realises who he's working for his attitude will be much different.
2007-03-16 08:42:37 · answer #8 · answered by jimi h-b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweetie about all that will change this is for him to see when the baby comes.But in the mean time just keep reassuring him that you are going to support and stand behind him.People can be so immature and try to crash your party at times like this, but i wish you the best and good luck
2007-03-16 08:43:18 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋