trust? anyone out there, been hurt by there partner and stayed with them?

Question

i'm trying so hard, to trust my husband, again, we have good day's and bad one's.

Answer 1

Just take one day at a time, only time will tell if you have the kind of relationship that can survive, some people can get through these things and others can't but at least you are giving it your best shot,good luck.

Answer 2

Hi there

Been there and yes its hard. There's an old saying about a relationship is built on trust and once that's broken there's nothing left. Building back trust is even harder and often it takes some time apart to rebuild the bridges. All i will say is if you love your husband you will find a way. Don't listen to people saying ditch him and hes no good etc. Do what your heart tells you! If your husband is an honest guy that has fallen from grace then I'm sure you will both find a way. If hes a player though he will never change. If you are still getting that strange gut feeling that somethings not quite right then chances are it isn't.

Best wishes

Idai

Answer 3

Once trust is violated it is hard to regain. It is like the hot stove, you remember that it burns so you are ever so careful lest you get burned again.
I had a real nasty ex- who was just plain "ole" never ending in with he did because he felt that he could do what he wanted and he felt that he was justified in what he did despite me not ever having any other relationships outside the marriage.
So you have to ask yourself some serious questions like I did. At what point do I realize that I am human and deserve better than what I was getting. If you can not move on past this, he made the choice to take that chance on losing you and you have nothing to feel guilty/bad about.
I figured if the ex ever cared for me then he has learned that the next time he gets a woman with character, he will treat her right!
Now That’s Love

I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
copyrighted

Answer 4

I cheated on my husband, im ashamed of it, but we have worked through it and are getting back on track. From the cheaters point of view i had things going on with me and needed more not so much sex but companionship, not that this excuses what i done. If your partner is not telling you all you want to know or not letting you ask questions about the affair then i would say the only thing he regrets is getting caught,so decide if you can live with that knowledge. if he's co-operating and giving you all you need and is making a effort to earn your trust back then hang on in there and give it time it will get better, at least you will have tried. I no its hard but all the best to you.

Answer 5

My husband cheated on me, with my sister. We are still together and yes, we too have good days and bad days. When we argue I always bring it up, I cant help it. It happened two years ago now and I still cry about it when I am on my own and I think about what they did together.

I love my husband and I know he loves me and we have repaired things and I do sort of trust him again. What is harder is forgiving my sister. We are at the talking pleasentries stage but I will NEVER NEVER let them be alone together ever again.

You can repair your marriage after something like this, but it takes both of you to really want to and he has to accept that you cannot just let it go and it will crop up for months and even years after.

Good luck, things will get better.

Answer 6

Cheating is a hard one to get over because it has so many personal implications!!
If he is trying and saying the right things and has been honest with his answers to your questions and if fully aware that for a long time he is going to have to make sure that you are fully aware of his comeings ang goings, and you are 100% sure that the other person is now completly off the agenda for him, then it is up to you to give him the chance, just make sure he knows that he is the one who has to prove himself now for a maybe a few years befor you can truly give him that trust back that he throw in your face!!
Good luck, stay stronge.

Answer 7

I have been hurt by my husband verbally. My husband also went to attack me physically when he was drunk. My husband knows he messed up and we are trying to work through everything. My husband quit drinking and we are currently going through marriage couseling and it is working quite well. We are on week #3 and I feel that we are making progress. I still feel mistrust but he know that it is going to take time and we are both willing to work on our marriage. We are not willing to throw away six good years over 1 bad year of marriage. We both feel that the marriage couseling was the best thing that we did for ourselves and is worth the money spent. We don't have a lot of extra money but found this worth it. One bit of advice though is make sure you find a good reputable marriage couselour. Your health insurance might take care of your bill too. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I assume you're talking about unfaithfulness. (If you're talking about being hurt physically, then I think you should leave and seek help.) My ex husband cheated on me at least twice, and I stayed for years afterward. I eventually had to leave, but it was because he wasn't willing to do his part to heal things. It takes a tremendous effort - maybe even greater effort on the part of the cheater - to make things right again. I do think it's possible, if both of you really love each other and want things to work. I think it's very normal to have good days and bad days. It takes time to heal. Good luck, my dear.

Answer 9

Yes, I was hurt by my ex and I forgave him and he went on to do it again and again. If the trust is gone, the relationship is over. I wasted 5 years with a cheat and a liar, it's better to go through a few months heartache than years of it.

Good luck

Answer 10

Yes I have, and it was a huge mistake, after putting up with his cheating and excuses for ten years, I divorced his sorry butt. I would recommend a speedy divorce, don't waste years of your life being miserable like I did. People do not change, and as long as you forgive him, he has no reason to change anyway.


He cannot be trusted.


Quoting a country song (sort of):

He aint wrong,

He aint sorry,

And he's probly gonna do it again