I love my boyfriend and we have an awesome relationship. But lately he has decided to get back into smoking weed. He always has from time to time, maybe once or twice a month, and never around me. But now it's every day, multiple times a day, and around me even though he knows I hate it. He's very stubborn and I'm afraid if I bring this up too much or nag too much it will turn into a big fight, and I don't even have a good reason as to why I hate it other then the fact that I've always thought drugs are "wrong". But it bothers me and I can't help that. Should I just be able to look past this? Should I end the relationship and move out over something that I can't even explain why it bothers me so much? I'm so confused here.
2007-03-16 00:29:22 · 10 answers · asked by elisamal428 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First off if it bothers you then he should show some respect and smoking in front of you is not respect! secondly it is against the law still in most places. and lastly if he is smoking that much he is spending a good amount of money on it and that will take money away from the household and you will end up fighting over that. Try again to let him know how you feel, but if he won't listen then leave it will not get better. I told my ex one time that we needed bread and milk for the kids and he came home with a bag of weed and a six pack that was the day I decided it was over but I already had three kids. That crap will never come before my kids. Will you let it come before something important in your life? I hope not.
2007-03-16 00:38:32 · answer #1 · answered by Mary B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's to be confused about? It bothers you, you don't like it, it's causing a conflict and one way or another it will tear you two apart. You can't ignore his behavior and neither should you have to. Your boyfriends simple occasional drug use has escalated to a full blown addiction. Don't believe that it was he who made a decision to start using. Rather it was his addictive personality that was lingering all along. His new relationship is even more awesome than you now. The reason why it bothers you is that you are no longer number one in his life. You're the only sensible one here. You shouldn't have to compromise what you feel is right no matter how much you love someone. So don't be put in a position of nagging or waiting for a fight to start. Keep your sanity and end the drama and end the relationship while you still can. In the end that is what will happen anyway so the sooner the better.
2007-03-16 01:03:19 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is bothersome to know that the person you love will not even care to not do around you a thing that you hate. Usually it is different at the beginning of a relationship when both partners are careful not to do stuff that annoy the other person but eventually they relax and start doing it more often. It might be something innocent but annoying like picking his nose or chewing with his mouth open, or something not so innocent as smoking weed. Well, maybe he thinks it is innocent so there is no reason for you to get mad about it. Then you have two options - either tell him everytime he smokes around you that it bothers you and you can't accept the fact that he smokes so often or just accept it and live with it. It depends on you - how much of it you can accept and on him - how much compromise he is willing to do. If you definitely can't accept it (it doesn't matter if you can or can't explain why), maybe you should go through the big fight (if you can't talk it over in a friendly manner) - after all many things get clear in a fight - and then you will have more light about your further course of action.
2007-03-16 00:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by petyado 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try it before you knock it? lol It's less damaging than beer.
Comes down to this: Does he take care of his responsabilities or does he just lay around all day getting high? In our society virtually everyone has some vice, we're human, and that's OK. For some weed, some alcohol, some Jesus. It's the balance in life that's important.
2007-03-16 00:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by guy o 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a good enough reason Hun!! He is doing it around you, and you don't like it. Also, your excuse can be that you flat out don't like it, and you love him too much to see him fall down the wrong path. If all else fails, find someone that don't depend on drugs. I mean, it is worthless to smoke yourself dumb, or to drink yourself stupid. It is wrong that he wouldn't take into consideration what you feel!
2007-03-16 00:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs♥xoC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have found that you can't get between a person and their addiction whatever it may be. if you hate it that much, take a stand and tell him to choose. you may face heartache if he chooses his weed, but if you hang around, you'll end up with an ulcer and real pain from holding in your anger. trust me, you're better off telling him to choose. you'll see if he really loves you or not.
2007-03-16 00:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It most certainly can tear the both of you apart. Marihuana is often call the gateway drug. All hard core drug users have been weened on this stuff.
2007-03-16 00:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it probably will unless he is willing to change, i used to smoke it but i realised that its does mess up your head, but people smoking it will not realise their hurting you and even he did and hes with friends he'll pretend not to care because of his reputation with his friends so sorry to say i think it will tear you apart,(so i think you should get out now before you really hurt yourself)
2007-03-16 00:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by skellyskeldon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him u dont like it and if he continues that u will leave. that will get his attention. if he doesnt listen to u then i would end the relationship
2007-03-16 00:32:48 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him!! Obviously, he doesn't care about your feelings or respecting you.. If he chooses drugs over you, then you're better off...
2007-03-16 00:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋