I am friends w/ (because I don't want to say names, I'm going to say #1 & #2) #1 & #2. #2 has been talking bad about #1 for a little while now. Also, whenever I mention #1, #2 makes this face. I said something to #2 about her face & she said that she didn't realize it, but I'm not sure if she's lieing. Anyway, #1, while #2 is talking bad about #1, #1 asks me if #2 has been saying anything about her to me. Well, I sorta blew & I told #1 everything (almost) that #2 said. (Now, this problem is sovled. I just want to know... Did I make the right decision by telling #1 what #2 said? P.S. I was just trying to help them fix their friendship, I was't doing it to be mean to #1 or #2.
2007-03-16 00:10:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sometimes when you tell one person what another says, it backfires on you. Best to tell #2 that you do not wish to get involved with the problems she has with #1. Tell her that you would like her to keep her criticisms to herself, you would like to be a friend to both of them.
2007-03-16 00:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations you now know how a war starts.
Gossip is always cruel and mean no matter what your intentions are, your in the middle and its not a good place to be. Being the third party will most likely lose your friendship with both #1 &2, start looking for friend #3 and next time don't talk about other people!
2007-03-16 07:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just put yourself in the middle of a tornado. All this drama. Ok first, I'm sure #2 will be really mad you told even though you were trying to do the right thing, it really wasn't between you and #1. If #2 was trashing #1 to you, you should tell #2 to take her drama elsewhere or to confront #1 about w/e, because friends don't listen to their friends backstab their OTHER friends.
2007-03-23 20:55:37 · answer #3 · answered by LuvUrGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I see that you didnt mean to do anything mean to either party, you could have (and maybe already have) started drama.
This is a very tough spot to be in. In reality you should have to both people this: "If you are having problems/issues with so and so then you need to talk to them about it."
Sometimes the other party has no idea what they are doing wrong. Sometimes they do but can't change it until they talk to the offending party. Other times they just don't care.
I know you want to be a good friend, I know that it is difficult to be friend in the middle but you must be strong and tell both your friends to speak to each other frankly.
Communication is key to understanding in relationships. Relationships are never easy! The important thing is that you keep trying and hopefully set a good example for your peers.
I am in my mid 20's and I am still learning.
Good luck!
2007-03-22 22:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by iceycalm101 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess honesty is the best policy. When #2 was saying things to you about #1, it might've been best to tell #2 that if they had a problem with #1 perhaps they should discuss it with #1 themselves. That way you're not caught in the middle. I guess clearing the air probably feels better than keeping it a secret. Liklihood is that someone's feelings will be hurt. If I had to guess, I'd say number 2. They'll say you violated their trust. Maybe #2 will think twice before they complain about someone to a third party.
2007-03-16 07:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by TN Seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a typical teen drama. I don't think it was fair to tell #1 that #2 was saying bad things about them, if they are both really your friends, they should be able to trust you and be able to tell you anything without you sharing.
I get the impression that #2 doesn't want you to be friends with #1, this will happen a lot in life. Some of your immediate friends won't get along. The best you can do is be anyones friend without caring what other people say, and not tell them what your other friends think of them.
No one wants to hear that someone doesn't like them.
2007-03-16 07:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by jimi h-b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you didn't, you instigated something between them now. It will be far from over now. The best thing to do is tell #2 you like #1 and please stop talking about her in front of you. Or just ignore #2 when she does it and say nothing. It is the only way to keep both friends. By telling #1 you have put yourself in the middle of it and involved yourself in something that really could've been prevented. Good luck.
2007-03-16 07:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 2 has been talking bad about 1, I guess telling it will not fix it. It will get worse.
You should have told both that they were both talking good about each other. It would be a lie, but it could have fix something.
Well, they probably weren't meant to be. So who cares. If someone talks bad to you about someone, she may do it to you next time. I wouldn't trust like to be her friend anyway. Sorry if this was the wrong answer!! :-)
2007-03-16 07:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by Silvia N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been in this world for many years, I have become very attuned to relationships, body language and how and why people interact with others. I'm not a professional psychologist, but have made many "kindred spirit" friends. This I know... don't try to be the "go between" between friends. Don't try to work out other friends' relationships. Even if you've done it with the best intentions, they will resent your interference. If they "fix" their own problems in their relationships, they will be stronger in character for it. I know this is a very hard thing to do, though. Your first inclination will be to want everybody to be happy and satisfied in their relationship because that is your own hope, especially for your friends. The best way to get friends together again is to speak well of them behind their back. Point out the good points about your friend. If you speak well of others, the one who you're speaking to, will assume that you speak well of them too, when they're not around. Many people point out the defective character when speaking of someone behind their back, because they want themselves to look better. If we would only learn that this kind of talk about others, leads to a negative perception of ourselves, we would not do it. Good luck in keeping your friend #1 and friend #2 as good friends.
2007-03-16 07:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by bwlobo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing if they were friends they should not be talking bad things about each other or anyway but if you have evidence against someone than I think you should have strong convictions and give such evidence direct to the face instead of back biting which is the not a good thing. My religion says that such actions are that of the Satan and not of humans
2007-03-16 07:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Adnan S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋