what rules do i put in place?

Question

my husband and i are going to to have a fresh start with our marriage, i told him yesterday to either choose me and our little girl or choose the ex girlfriend, he's been texting. He choose me, but what rules should i put in place, and what do i do if he does it again. i so want this to work, but i don't want to seem nagging

Answer 1

Nagging? That should be the least of his worries!

My advice is do put boundries in place. And rules. They are different.

Boundries: He can talk to other women, but he cannot accept numbers etc
He can have guys nights out (if he has them) but only on certain days, and he should be home at a certain time
He must set time aside every week to spend family time with you and your daughter. Eg every saturday you do some thing together

Rules: He must never contact his ex, other ex's etc again
He must not chat to women online
etc

You have to tell him it is because you do not trust him at the moment, and it will take time to build it.

Do not be smoothering, just firm

Good luck.

Answer 2

Rules are dangerous. If he feels that you are trapping him then the second something goes wrong he has a geat excuse to break those rules. you want to work out a way to make it work so that you trust each other again. Rules also make it seem as if there is no trust and you should not be in a marriage if you do not trust him. I think you just need to sit down and talk to him about the problems you are having. He made those vows to you when you married, they are the rules he should be living by and they are set by god/government (whatever you believe) so its part of the contract he signed with you. You shouldn't need anything but that. If he is going to cheat on you, unfortunately no amount of rule-setting is going to change that.

Answer 3

If you need rules then this definitely won't work. If he wants the relationship with you to work out then surely he won't text the girl at all. He must know how much this upset you.... If you're preapared to give him another chance then just go for it and do things together - try to do some things differently so there's a bit more exceitement. have the odd weekend away together or as a family. Good luck - I hope everything works out well for you.

Answer 4

firstly your right if u r deciding to give it another go then u must let the past go, full stop no debate. however u need to be strong to say that if it happens again he's gone and he will loss u for good. if he for a second thinks he could do it again and still have u then there no deterrent for him. rules are a bit harsh as as an adult i would expect him to know how to behave especially as he was the 1 in the wrong. If you have to spell it out to him then think long and hard about your decision. remember if your unhappy ur child is too, it doesn't matter if your not upset in front of her she knows, trust me. bare this thought in mind, your choosing to put yourself in this situation your daughter didn't, your choosing to put her in it. good luck

Answer 5

You don't put any rules in place. You'll never be happy with him if you're constantly watching his every move. If you're going to have anything with this guy, you have to trust him. Trust is most important. If he F's up again you toss him for good. In the meantime if you love him, respect that he loves you back until he proves otherwise. Hope that helps....Peace

Answer 6

What you mentioned above, ascertain you place on your checklist. And the rest she does thats demanding. %. up after your self No eating in the room, or living room and so on. No bringing people over, could ask first do no longer assume something do no longer help except you ask shes to no longer intervene, or intervene whilst your disciplining or no longer disciplining your infants. in case you stumble on that the canines arise from the basement, the canines circulate bye-bye, and if the canines harm your stuff, or crap and pee in each and every single place and bark continuously, they are long gone too. No loud track (my mom in regulation turns her stereo up intense in the early mornings...and its eighty's heavy metallic) yet you apart from mght might desire to permit her comprehend, you will upload issues to the checklist as ingredient circulate alongside. additionally tell her that at every time she breaks those regulations, you will take her to a guard....you dont could propose it even in spite of the shown fact that it quite will gentle the fire under her a s s and he or she'll hear and actually attempt, in any different case your asking or all the regulations to get broken. What are regulations with out outcomes? additionally you are able to desire to tell her that mutually as staying with you, she desires to be actively finding for a job....prevalent. And tell her you prefer to work out applications and if choose be you will take them in for her.

Answer 7

If he really wants to make the marriage work then he will agree to what you say, so nag away you are within your rights. I would get him to show you he has deleted her number and agrees never to contact her again. Make it very clear that he has one more chance and if you never catch him 'cheating' again it's over. Then if he does, leave.

Answer 8

well make it known that you won't put up with him texting an ex girlfriend again and make him clear of the consequences if he does.

Answer 9

Get an agreement in writing that he has to give you a huge alimony payment if he ever cheats on you again. And pay for your daughter's university. And her wedding. And her car ... and all yours too if you decide to do these things again.

Answer 10

100% Agreement with ABC.

If you need rules, you are not supposed to be together.