why doesnt my baby sleep...ever??

Question

this isnt your typical newborn or 4 week old baby question, because if he was only that old i could understand. no, this is my second child, so youd think id know what im doing... my son is almost 6 months old and he STILL wont sleep longer than 3 hours, whether its day or night. ok, well the doctor said hes probably hungry, so feed him more before bed. first, i cant force feed a baby who wont eat. second, he spits out most of the baby food i give him, so hes not eating that either. ok, then my doctor said, let him cry. did that with my toddler last year, took him a couple days, bam, sleeping all night. this one? hell no. its been a week of letting him cry from about 20 min up to an hour! ever let your baby cry for over an hour straight? its enough to drive you CRAZY. i get no sleep EVER, im extremely frustrated, i yell at my other son and husband, and i just act like a witch most of the time since im so dang cranky. ANY reasonable advice you can give would be great...thank you.

Answer 1

does your baby have a routine? One where he eats at certain times, sleeps at certain times and one that follows the biorhythms of his body?

at 6 months, he should be able to do one long stretch at night (about 12 hours) and have about 2.5-3 hours of nap during the day. If he isn't taking his daytime naps, he could be too tired at night to sleep well, and if he is sleeping too LONG during the day, then it will be harder for him to sleep at night.

The ideal schedule for you baby, according to "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford, looks somethign like this

7:00 Wake up feed, solids and milk. DO not feed after 8:30 as it will put him off his next feed
9:00-9:45 first nap Wake him up after 45 minutes
Play enjoy time with baby awake -
11:00 Feed
12:30-2:30 afternoon Nap - don't let them sleep longer than 2 hours - and not after 2:30
2:30 Feed
4:15 IF necessary - 15 minute nap (if your baby can make it then dont' give it.)_
5:00 Feed
6:00 Bath/Feed
7:00 Bedtime until 7:00 AM

A three hour wakeup )or 1.5 hour) wakeup sounds like it could be cyclical - when your baby comes into light sleep he wakes up...and if the conditions have changed in the room, it will be very difficult to put him back to sleep.

before allowing him to cry all night, try and adjust to see if he will take to a routine. An important thing to remember is that if you put him to bed with a bottle, he will expect that very thing when he wakes up - so if he falls asleep as you are holding him, when he wakes up, he'll expect you to be holding him - and if you're not, the baby will panic and wake up more. The best thing you can do is have your baby fall asleep on his own.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. My son was the same up until he was 15 months (sorry!) Only he slept for no more then 40 minutes and was awake for about 5 hours. My partner at the time was unsupportive, and did nothing to help. My son was checked into a sleep/feeding centre funded by the government and they couldn't work him out either. Eventually he got better, but I think that's when my first grey hairs come through. He is now nearly 6, and still not a great sleeper. I tried the control crying, that the centre had also tried and it didn't work with him. He was just vomiting up the very little amount of milk he was drinking. He started to get a little better at around 10 moths, but still wasn't sleeping any more then about 2 hours at a time. Good luck!! I hope you find a way to fix it...I don't wish it upon anyone!!

Answer 3

If your husband can, have him get up with the baby on nights when he does not have to work the next day. This will help you get at least 1 or 2 good nights sleep a week.

We had this problem with our daughter too, she really did need to eat every 3 or 4 hours. I got so burnt out I finally gave up trying to keep her in her bed, and I did co-sleeping iwth her, I was breastfeeding so she had an all you can eat buffet. I coudln't function, we had to sleep. I chose co sleeping. Now at 31 months she sleeps all night in her own bed, and has since she was 16 months old and started sleeping in a toddler bed, instead of her crib.

I do feel your pain. I hope you get some sleep soon.

Answer 4

Ask your doc again. There might be something wrong with him physically. Doctors have a tendency to brush people off with what seem like common problems. It takes the parents to push the doctor into getting some answers.
Does he pull at his ears ever? Or are they red inside? Check that too. He could have an ear infection.
Also, I reccomend that you take a breath....and relax. It's not the end of the world and you will get some answers. Leave your husband with the children for a little bit so you can get a nap and some chill time. You're on overdrive. And the baby can sense that, which may add to your problems. Babies can tell when their parents aren't at ease, which makes them not at ease. Don't push yourself too much. I know it can be absolutely overwhelming. But you need to take care of yourself too. Then your household can be at ease as well.

Answer 5

Ok, first, every child is different. Please do not feel bad about this being your 2nd child and you "not knowing what you are doing". You are learning, and growing, and you will make it.
Now, do you have anyone helping you? Your husband, or friend, or maybe your mom? You need a break, so please find some person you trust and ask for some help with the little one.
It is possible your baby may feel the tension from you, and thats why he keeps crying. Or it could be gas, or teething. I always give my baby Tylenol and gas drops when he gets like that, pop a binkie in and he snuggles down to sleep soon after. Possibly, baby is cold, dress him warm, check for drafts in his bedroom.
After all that, usually prayer helps me get though the frustrating times like this...and I will pray for you.

Answer 6

I gave into the crying when ours was about 1 month, we bought her an Amby baby bed (found a used one at craigslist.org). These beds can be used for up to a year & the first night she was in it, I got 8 hours of sleep! She loves it! They have a great website with lots of info about the bed at ambybaby.com. Hope you get some sleep soon, and enjoy that Vegas heat, we just moved up to Alaska from there.

Keep looking at craigslist.org periodically, I think I got lucky finding one up here so quickly. I have also seen some used Amby beds on ebay for good prices, even with shipping.

Answer 7

YOu need to let him cry longer. If it takes two or three weeks, fine. He's a stubborn one, obviously. Also it might take longer than an hour. I hope that you didn't go in and "rescue" him after an hour of crying--if you did, there's your problem. Now that he knows you'll come in eventually if he persists, why would he stop? He'll just be more determined to keep it up till you come. He MUST be taught that you are not going to reward his night time crying with attention.

Answer 8

my kid was like that too but only until a year and a half old. you poor girl it is terrible. i put her in bed with me. when doctors and parenting magazines said newborns sleep 16-20 hours a day i was like what babies are you talking about? not mine. you just have to put up with it for a while. my child is three, still takes no nap and is awake from 9am til like 1 am!!!

Answer 9

Honestly I wish that I had something that I could say to help you other than you need someone to take him so that you can get a decent night of sleep and approach this rom a new angle with fresh eyes. You deserve a break today. Other than that God bless you because I know your life must be extra hard.

Answer 10

If there were only a magic wand that would make these little ones sleep!

There are natural sleep windows throughout the day were it would be easier for your little one to fall asleep and stay asleep. Try and get him up around 7am. First nap should be around 9am. Second nap should be three hours after he wakes up from his first nap. His first nap should last an hour or so but no longer than 1hr 1/2 if you would like hime to have a great sleep in the afternoon. Optimal sleep times during the day are between 8am and 10 am and between 12pm and 3pm. Bed time for your little guy should be between 7 and 8pm. Keeping your little one up later will not make him sleep in longer in the morning.

Is your little one getting more mobile? Certain mildstones affect their sleep habits too!

What ever method you decide to use with your little one, it's easiest if you stay consistent. If not you have let him cry it out for one night or two for nothing! Then you are back at square one and a baby who does not want to sleep. At his age he should be able to soothe himself back to sleep when he wakes up. I know easier said than done. I would suggest the pick up put down method. The first few days are horrible. Especially when you have another little one to look after. I know how that is. So if possible ask for some help from a friend or family member during the first few days. Wake him up the first day at 7am (no matter how his night was) give him his breakfast (milk and pablum and possibly fruit depending what he's eating) then get him dressed and play for a bit. Then at about 8:45 change his diaper and start his bedtime routine. Make it as predictible as possible so that he will be able to understand that you are getting ready for naptime. Talk to him. Tell him it's nap time, I usually give my little on her bottle, then rock her for about 5 min and then we go in her room put her blind down and then in her crib. I stayed next to herin the beginning and you will have to put him down quite a few times in the beginning. Don't get frustrated, no conversations, just keep telling him sshhh and dodo time. He will eventually calm down I promise and go down. Do the same routine for his second nap and bedtime at night. As your Dr. indicated try and get as much food as possible in him during the day either by milk or solids. I sometimes put fruits in my little one's pablum.

The key words for his routine during the day is eat, activity and then sleep. Sometimes eat, activity, eat activity and then sleep. Keep his day as predictable as possible. Sleep will encourage more sleep. I don't know why but it works!

I wish you luck. I know what you are going through I have a 9month old that has just figured out she can stand up in her crib! Not easy putting her down for her naps either but it does get easier every day!