We are together since almost 2 years and being together brought both of us the happiest moments in our life.But now he had to go somewhere far away with his job, he'll be staying there until this summer.In the last few days he was repeating me that I'm too pushy and that he really needs some space.He told me that I'm not doing well calling him so often(many times a day) because he is so busy in his job. And what hurt me the most was something else he said...that he is loosing the interest in our relationship, and this is only because I'm so possessive.
Besides all this,I'm absolutely sure he loves me. But how should I react when these words are coming from him, the person I love most in my life?
I'm asking for your help,because I kept on asking myself what should I do,but as much as I try, he keeps on telling me that I'm pushing him.I don't know how to live without him, he came into my life in such an unexpected moment and I'd rather stop living than having a life without him.Help me
2007-03-15 22:35:06 · 6 answers · asked by Paula W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First, teach yourself something: Who you are is not defined by who you are with (not even your boyfriend/husband)... You and your life will be wonderful with or without him...
Is that neediness and dependency that scare men away... I'm not sure why, but it really does... My husband appreciates me much more when I show him that I am WHO I AM because of me, not him. That I can enjoy life and do things on my own and so can he... (and he is in Iraq now, so I am basing my opinion on personal experience).
So maybe, all he needs is for you to show him that you believe that you are a Wonderful, capable and independent person on your own and even if he is away. Maybe then he will be able to see you and love for who you are. And I don't mean that you need to show him that you don't need him in your life, but to prove him that his love and company don't define you but complement you and your life.
2007-03-15 22:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by myliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to keep him is to give him the space he needs.
Imagine if you had a busy and stressful job that took all of your concentration and he kept calling you (often to talk about nothing of great importance). You ended up falling behind in your work, even more stressed, maybe missing deadlines or getting in trouble with your boss etc. You get the picture. Are you honestly going to look forward to their call, or are you going to resent that person for calling you the whole time.
He may love you, but you have to let him have a life, it doesnt have to be about you two all the time.
Men hate to feel trapped and this is exactly what you are doing to him and by trying to make it better you are actually making it far far worse. Do as he says and you may keep him. Try calling him every other day (not even every day) when you know he is not at work and ready to have a real conversation with you. If you need to contact him at work send him a nice email that he can read when he is not busy.
Dont make him feel guilty about the fact that you are apart from each other.
I am in a long distance relationship and the only way that I stay sane is by involving myself with ots of things that happen locally. I have a different activity every night of the week and a great group of friends. Let him know that you are strong and having a good time, it might even give you something great to talk about when you do call him.
Wait for him to call you sometimes and then you know that he is ready to talk and hasnt been pushed into it.
Also by your ringing him all the time he may think that you dont trust him and this is why he thinks that you are possessive. If you want this to work you have to be very very strict with yourself.
Loook at it this way, if you dont limit your calls to him now, very soon you wont be able to call him at all because he will have split with you. Its your choice.
Hope this helps.
2007-03-16 05:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by salsabrunette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think lots of women are with you 'cause that is somewhat how we are born. I do not know the whole physiological or biological gene that make this character on women...An way, when such a thing happens to the relationship where one side is doing his/ her best but the other side feels like he/ she is not being treated well enough, both of sides could have problem, a give should ask him/herself that `I feel good about myself and my life so that I also can treat them in the way to make me feel good?' and a receiver should ask him/herself that I am really appreciating what I am receiving from the other part? So, ask yourself first that you are in a good shape to get involved in relationship mentally. If yes, let him know your feeling and he still can not get your feeling, there is nothing you can not do about it. But. please make sure that what you have been trying to do to him is something you can feel happy with, not being obsessed with something...
2007-03-16 06:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Yogurt and Sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is right. calling someone to much can push them away. Allow him time to himself to miss you that is. He will call you when he can get a chance. Maybe you to can still visit while is gone. If the relationship was meant to be then he will be yours forever. Only time will tell. Have you ever heard that absence makes the heart fonder. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR MAN AND GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN THOUGH ITS HARD
2007-03-16 05:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by lilbit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really really love him them don't let yourself down, go ahead, express your feelings he is showing you he loves you, is it sooo difficult to i love you, i want you
2007-03-16 06:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by yurrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes give him little space.
I am sure he will come to you.
2007-03-16 06:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sanket 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋