my boyfriend have big issues...and i need some advice to help him before we brake up?

Question

well his dad,and grandmother died 3 or 4 years ago and he has been very upset about it. his mom does him wrong all of the time and he dont like it. (it really be some bad things) and it hurts him alot. i have tried to help him but it seems to never work. i have told him im always here to help you,and you can talk to me about anything. but he dont do that he have attitudes and be mean too me all the time. i try to be there for him but im tired of trying.... we have been together for over 1 year. i have tried to help him in so many ways.i even got the MARINES to call him and talk to him and nothing has change he is doing drugs and fighting. i dont know what to do.its hurting our relationship because he is gone make me feel bad about it. even if i try to help. i wont to brake up with him but i dont wont to hurt him. i love him so much. sometimes i just wish i could do more to help him. its alot more too the story but this is all i can give i just need some advice on how to deal with this

the reason it's gone make him and me brake up is because he is always mad at me and have attitudes like a female. Personally im tired and he is not seeing my part of this. he dont tell me about how he feels. so im like stuck in the dirt with no where to turn. Should i brake up with him or try to work this through? i need all the avice there is

im about to be 16 and he is about to be 17

Answer 1

Hello, sometimes the best thing you can do IS break up with him. It sounds like he has a lot on his plate and maybe some medical help is in order. Your life is what you make it. I'm sorry but you cannot spend YOUR life trying to cure someone else. Especially if it's beginning to hurt you. (Physically and/or mentally). Do yoursle f a favor and end the relationship. Your life is too precious to hurt so much. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

He sounds very angry at what life has dealt him and he can't move past it. You should talk to him and tell him that you do love him but the way he treats you and shuts you out, is more than you can take. If he can't seek help for his anger then you have to break up with him. Let him know that if he ever wants your help, then you will always be there for him, when he's ready.
As much as you want to help him, there is not much you can do without him seeking change. For your own self worth and personal safety, get out before it's too late. His anger will escalate and will only get worse (especially if drugs are involved). Don't become his punching bag when things really get out of hand. Be smart and move on, he has to hit rock bottom. If you mean anything to him, he will do anything to keep you.

Answer 3

Wow honey thats a big responsibility to be taking on at your age

My advice is some people cant be helped at certain times they have to flounder for a while and figure the way them selves

I understant to a percentage what you boyf is going through but until hes ready theres not alot anyone can do

Try sitting down with him and explaining how you feel tell him you love him and that you want to be there to support him but hes making you feel bad and you cant cope tell him that it hurts to see him going down the road hes chosen and that your afraid because you cant follow him down that road

You could also try talking to your parents see if they can arrange a holiday and allow him to come along some time away from his mother might see a change in him

Good luck honey and remember sometimes you have to walk away

Answer 4

Unfortunately you have the "I can fix him" syndrome. That is where your mothering instincts kick in and you find someone who needs to be loved, so you try to fulfill that void. I hate to tell you, but he is not going to change. In fact, he probably won't change for at least 10 years.

Right now he is in a time in his life, where he is unable to deal with everything. He needs to see a psychiatrist, because, as you said, the love you are giving him just doesn't fix him.

I hate to say this, but breaking up with him might be the best thing you have ever done. I know you love him more than life itself, but give him an ultimatum on his behaviour or on seeing a shrink.

Good luck on everything, but a man who has attitude problems and takes drugs-- without help, by the time he is 19 he will probably be involved in domestic abuse, and you are better then that.

Answer 5

How can your help your boyfriend if this situation is so upsetting to you? What he needs is therapy and counseling from a professional. It isn't your responsibility to make him feel differently or take care of him. Let him go and get into a better relationship which is healthier for you.

Answer 6

.... why the marines?