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he isnt the most affectionate of guys, but recently he never instigates kisses, hugs or sex, i always try and look nice, and help him with stuff if i can what do you think is the matter?

2007-03-15 22:15:53 · 26 answers · asked by pink 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

26 answers

he's in a comfort zone... dump him and see how fast he wants to get "affectionate"... :D

2007-03-15 22:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 1 0

after two years your boyfriend probably has not gone off you, but the initial passion and lust has faded to become love of a different kind, a real comfrotable love, where you feel safe and warm, you dont need to be kissing and having sex all the time to show you are still in love, i have been with my partner for three years and i know he is very much in love with me, but things have changed over the past year or so because we are more comfrtable with eachother and are now at a place were just being together is enough.

I would not worry about this so much, as long as your not pressurising him into making love or anything then you wont have any problems, i bet if you left him to it for a while he would come to you, maybe he just does not feel like making love as often as you once did, this is also normal in relationships.

you will find that your bf does notice the things you do and what you wear to please him, just be patient you will fall into this comfortable zone and be as happy as he is with the way things are.

2007-03-16 05:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1 0

I'm in the same boat. Been with my boyfriend 2 1/2 years,and he's been doing the same. Also,the compliments seemed limited to 'what a good cook I was'. This was really getting on my nerves,so I confronted him about it and told him there was more to me than cooking and cleaning-I was a woman-I wanted compliments,I wanted him to instigate intimacy-i.e. hugs,kisses,sex. He seemed genuinely surprised and not at all aware that he hadn't been as affectionate. Problem was,he had just slipped into the 'comfort zone'-in his mind,we were settled and therefore he didn't need to 'woo me'. Just talk to him-tell him how you feel. I'm betting your boyfriend isn't even aware of it.

2007-03-16 05:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Could be a lot of reasons and I would be careful about advice from here.

Think about the circumstances of your relationship, you have noticed he has changed but that might just be a 'symptom'

What else has changed?

Jobs, home, pressure at work, money worries, gambling, drinking, family member ill, friend in trouble etc.

You need to go carefully here you could read a lot of things into the situation that aren't there and could end up ruining it when you just need to get through a tough time.

In the worst case scenario he no longer loves you and he has met another girl.
In the best case he has really fallen deeply in love with you and is upset with himself because he can't find the words to tell you.

It could be anything in between.

2007-03-16 05:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by noeusuperstate 6 · 0 0

I kinda agree with answer one but im not the most affectionate person in the world either. My bf has a real problem with that but he told me and we talked so now i try to make the effort..........Some ppl jus aren't as naturally affectionate as others you know?! Mayb he's been hurt b4?
Anyways i would communicate how you feel to him an see what he says b4 jumping to any conclusions babes x x x

2007-03-16 08:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by Dolly 5 · 0 0

Well Pink, the thrill is gone and he should be gone also, Oh no, wait, you should try to "fix" him ..not really...get out and get a life and have fun and meet some real men asap. Actions speak louder than words..and he is basically using you for ..??? only you know that...
there are sooo many men out there..start going out somewhere, anywhere at all (store, the club, library, church, anywhere there are men and smile and say hi..but only idf you want attention and loving affection, not just to make Idiot boy jealous) see what happens..I bet you 1million dollars they will be interested to get to know you.
good luck
G

2007-03-16 05:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0 0

First answer has a point - men tend to do this when they start taking us for granted! It does not necessarily mean he does not care for you, just that he does not feel he needs o bother showing it any more. You're probably being too good to him! Start making some distance between you, go out for a few girls nights out and leave him a frozen meal, stop doing everything for him for a week or two - that should buck him up a bit!

2007-03-16 05:20:20 · answer #7 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 3 0

Do a little less for him, and tart yourself up more when you go out without him. He'll notice ... it does sound like he is starting to take you for granted, and letting the oomph going out of the relationship. Let him think you're letting him slide on your priorities also (he's doing this with you), he'll start working harder to get back higher on your list.

The man may be the head of a household, but the woman is the neck, and the neck turns the head ....

2007-03-16 07:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1 0

he probably doesnt see any intrest in ur actions so decides to do the same. or he has somethin on his mind that blocks u from his it. tyr showin affection to hima and if that dont work then start to back off of him. when he calls take a while to answer it, stop lookin so nice for him, and when he hugs or kisses u dont put any effort into it. he'll start to see that the one person who matters most in his life is leavin lil by lil he'll realize whats really goin on.

2007-03-16 05:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Romeo 1 · 0 0

I agree with "Rose"... "taking things for granted" part. Sometimes it just doesn't mean much...just that he might be comfortable with the relationship and doesn't feel the need to make the extra effort with the "little things." But he could have something on his mind that he might be distancing himself a bit. Talk to him! I hope you two straighten things out.

2007-03-16 05:26:10 · answer #10 · answered by KayTy 2 · 0 0

Maybe he is just busy with work and/or overly stressed.

Sounds like he really isnt attracted to you anymore and wants out of the r/s but doesnt want to tell you this b/c he doesnt want to hurt you and/or he doesnt want to break up until he has someone else.

or he is scared of how deeply he feels for you.

3 extremes...3 strong possibilities.

2007-03-16 05:23:25 · answer #11 · answered by HopeURLuvinLife2 2 · 1 1

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