I pamper him like a baby, treat him like a king.... I run around in circles to please him, cook for him, I make it a point that he looks neat, clean, well groomed; all the time. I understand him like not even his mother would... I found out he's cheating too many times and forgave him. Isn't that enough? He swears and promises he wouldn't do it again, but agin it happened. I know him more than he knows himself... that's why it's really difficult for me to just turn my back and walk away coz i know he needs me. but... what about me? We have been on for 4 years and a few months... I guess I am afraid to let go... I guess I feel humiliated and embarrased of myself that I did not succeed this relationship... what do you think? what do you think I should do? Maybe it will help you answer this question if I tell you things about myself: I am a very sweet natured person. I don't nag, I don't even know how to yell or scream or shout.I am past 40 and he's 7 yrs younger. should i give up? HELP!
2007-03-15 21:40:27 · 19 answers · asked by gemovaperson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
omg..he's using you!
he doesnt wanna let u go cos u're like his maid,cook,iron,wash,and do everything for him.
wth,he finds pleasure from other women while u do the shits for him...that's why he 'needs' you..
you totally dont deserve this kind of man..
why do you still forgive him after so many times of stupid mistakes?
it'll only happen all over again and again..
and u'll get hurt again and again and again...
please give him up..u'll never find happiness with him..there's better guys out there..
if you decide to leave,be strong and confident of your decision..
don't go soft on him again.
give yourself a chance to let another man love you and treat you like a princess.
2007-03-15 21:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by tinklefaerie88 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. I think you already know it's time and you just kinda need someone to second your emotion so I'm goin to go ahead and do that for you. 4 years is a long time, I understand that but how much longer do you want to be unhappy. I think everyone would agree you've let him walk all over you long enough. All the time and effort you have put into this man and into your relationship with him needs to be redirected. It's time you found your own self worth. Time to take care of you because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated like a queen. It's about time you realized it.
Tim
2007-03-15 22:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by hmmm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the problem is that you are pampering him to death, there is no challenge there, it seems you live and breathe through him. Should you give up, well, that is your decision, but don't be a doormat anymore, be your own person, an individual, and staying with him it seems, you are avoiding that. I wish you luck and courage to change your life, no one deserves to live like that....and by the way, once a cheat, always a cheat...so regain your confidence and self esteem and do what you want, not just be a shadow of a person.
2007-03-15 22:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you are letting him. He is clearly taking advantage of you. Why should YOU feel embarrased or humiliated because HE cheats on you? YOU should feel that way because you keep taking him back,. Why are HIS needs more important than YOUR needs? I hope you don't think because you are past 40 that you won't find anyone else, because you can... once you let that loser go. Take some time to fall in love with YOURSELF, because I truly believe if a person loves themselves, they won't allow another person to treat them so poorly. I know it will be hard to let go of him, but you have to. Good Luck.
2007-03-15 21:52:09 · answer #4 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up, Don't feel humiliated or embarassed. Does he love u, if yes, than it is worth the trouble. Maybe u are stressed and overworking yourself to make this relationship suceed, which is not correct. Love is not like a career, it is a gift of god. Enjoy it, or else move away.
2007-03-15 22:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think more of yourself than to settle for someone who has a consistent and continual track record of doing what he wants, when he wants, without any concern or consequences from the one who is allowing him to have the best of both worlds. Two "buzz" words come to mind that aptly apply to the live style to are living: enabling and codependency. Yet, do you really want to change your pattern of behavior of perpetual pleasing and coddling to be unshackled from these chains of misery that characterize this never ending cycle of mental cruelty and emotional abuse? Well, do you?
2007-03-15 21:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him cook for himself. Make him pick up after himself. Make him dress himself. You do everything for him and you shouldn't. It's one thing to take care of your man but what you are doing goes above and beyond that. He depends on you for everything yet he also goes out and cheats because he knows that he can get away with it. It's not fair to you and only you can change things. Obviously he won't.
2007-03-15 22:13:45 · answer #7 · answered by my_own_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OHHHH man, dump his ***. He is playing you like a finely tuned fiddle. You are way too good to him. You need to find a man worthy of you, because you are a QUEEEN baby, and you dont deserve this crap. As long as you let him do this he will. I dont care how well you know him, or how much he needs you, you need some self respect. This guy is bad news. I hope he doesn hit you or beat you, because it seems like a guy who uses women like this guy does will probably abuse you physically. You need a new man.
2007-03-15 21:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just 2 things: (1) your over-pampering him, remember that too much of everything is not good. (2) the first time that he cheated on you and then you accepted him, he knew that he could do it over and over again. come on girl, find someone who truly deserves you. good luck!
2007-03-15 22:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by True R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love yourself more. Lose him. The sooner the better. Get on with your life. Believe me, it's way too short and time is wasting. Love yourself more.
2007-03-15 22:37:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋