During my younger years I had a psychiatrist who helped me through a very difficult time in my life, however despite all the information she grew to know about me at the time, I never once mentioned I was a lesbian. I know in passing she is a lesbian, but since she's my former psychiatrist, despite my attraction to her, I feel quite vulnerable when it comes to pursuing a relationship with her since she knows all my faults and undoings. Plus there is quite an age gap (she's 50, I'm almost 21), despite the fact that we enjoy each other's company very much, I'm worried how to approach such a difficult scenario. I can't just "ask her out" - that just isn't my style, and I definitely suspect not hers. How do I go about this?
2007-03-15 21:12:31 · 12 answers · asked by Rain 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've been looking at some of your answers, and here's some additional info to answer your questions/inquiries: she did prescribe me medication and with, had weekly consultations to see how things were going with the medication and my overall feelings, etc. This therapy was in my early teens.
2007-03-15 21:30:31 · update #1
How it would be unethical if it was so long ago and she is no longer my psychiatrist? What about teachers who marry their former students? I see that going socially smooth most of the time with the occassional gossip rag saying something snappy about it. Do you mean unethical because she knows my weaknesses, etc. and thus holds psychological power over me, which could lead to manipulation? Because I'm much older now and a lot has changed for me as I assumed it has changed for her.
2007-03-15 21:33:04 · update #2
Alright, so far you guys have been very helpful and I appreciate that...so how do I break the ice about this? I invite her out to lunch and casually ask if she's seeing anyone? What do I do?
2007-03-15 22:31:18 · update #3
Whatever relationship you have with her, she'd probably reject you to avoid any messy projection issues. :S
2007-03-15 21:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
specific. i've got standard a number of of lesbians who've been jointly for years and look as though being waiting to make it an entire life situation. There are, of path, problems with intercourse. "Lesbian mattress death" being the main dreaded. the dating itself could be high quality, however the intercourse stops happening after a whilst as one or the two companions grow to be bored in intercourse. yet another situation lesbians have in hassle-loose with hetero adult males, we frequently grow to be bored in intercourse whilst it fairly is many times obtainable, too. some women locate strategies to maintain the intercourse clean, others comply with apply different companions to bounce start up their intercourse drives back. i've got been the beneficiary of such arrangements some situations on the theory that "adult males do no longer count huge type." you're nevertheless youthful. adulthood, (i.e., becoming older,) makes stability sound like a extra appropriate theory each and every 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. And lesbians look to regulate long term relationships than hetero relationships or those between gay adult males. So, in case you have chanced on the only right suited guy or woman, the possibilities are on your part.
2016-10-01 00:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by intriago 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My psychiatrist is pretty hot also, but she is married. Which doesn't mean she is straight it just means she is being politically correct. I like to daydream about her, but as far as a close relationship that's a big no. For one thing, if she would even consider it even though your dr/patient relationship was years ago she could still be in hot water from the board of medicine. And for another she shouldn't because it would give her an unfair advantage. relationships are about sharing. there is not much left for you to share. She already knows most of it. you are the only one who has a lot to learn. Don't risk it, save your self and your heart.
2007-03-23 01:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My question would be - Was she just your psychiatrist who you consulted with for medication, or was she also your psychologist that you had therapy sessions with?
Either way, for her it would kind of unprofessional because that is a very messy situation. A lot of people develop infatuations with people who have helped or treated them. You should first ask yourself if that is the case with you. If not, approach her about the possibility and see what she thinks about it. You have talked to her before, you can do it again. This situation just needs an open dialog for it to work itself out.
2007-03-15 21:22:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has been your psychiatrist, she might be able to understand your predicament. I am sure in her profession it may not have been the first instance of a patient developing feelings for her. You should try to talk to her about it. You need to understand what she feels about you. If she also likes you, she might be able to accept your faults and undoings. But, you must know first if she'd like to pursue a relationship with you. If she does not want to do it, respect her choice. For the unethical part, its up to both of you decide.
2007-03-15 21:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that after 2 years from the last time you were her patient is the minimum amount of time you must wait in order for it to be legal, otherwise she could lose her license and go to jail. If it has been past 2 years good luck with her, if not then continue to wait until you can try, I hope it works out well for you.
2007-03-16 01:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by elvishbard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. It is understandable that you would feel attracted to your former psychiatrist but it would be highly unethical for her to pursue a romantic relationship with you. (This has nothing to do with the fact that you are lesbians. The same would apply if it were a hetero situation.)
2007-03-15 21:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by sissyboystud 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you and her need to make the decision on whether you would feel ok with it. I would be more concerned with the age difference than anything. It's really difficult for people with that much of an age difference to connect.
2007-03-15 21:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i see absolutely nothing wrong with setting up a lunch date
and seeing what progresses from that.
if both are comfortable with what's happening, go for it.
perhaps one or the other will see that perhaps it's not the best for a relationship to develop, if that happens there's nothing wrong with being good friends.
2007-03-23 08:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mountain One 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you fine with dating someone who knows everything about you, but you know nothing about her? She will always have a certain advantage over you which she could use against you.
2007-03-16 03:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are OK, then there's no problem having a relationship. The age doesn't realy matter.
2007-03-15 21:30:24 · answer #11 · answered by theguy932 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋