How do I cope with a 5 month old and being pregnant again?

Question

My son is five months old, and I'm almost positive I'm pregnant again. I'm scared to have another child for fear I may not give my baby the attention he deserves. I don't belive in abortions, but I am not sure how to cope with this perdicament I put myself in. Any suggestions or experiences?

I do have a fiance' who shares responsibilty completely. We are extremely happy together as a family and I didn't mention him b/c I'm scared to 1) take the test and 2) tell him if I'm am pregnant.

Answer 1

You will surprise yourself. When my second child was 6 months old we discovered #3 was on its way, there is only 15 months between 2 +3, and then the exact same thing happened between 3+4!!! so by time number 4 came we had a newborn, a 15 month old, a 2 and a half year old and an almost 5 year old! It was total bedlum for a while, but I found that life kind of jogged along without me, a routine kind of evolved and everyone seemed to be getting along just fine. Life has a way of working its way out regardless of all your fears and apprehensions, you will be fine, take a deep breath and do a pregnancy test. Then take every day one at a time, it is actually much better than you think it is right now, believe me!!!!

Answer 2

Hi,

I have to confess...when I saw your question I mis-read it and thought your had a five month old child that was pregnant again!

Thankfully I have cleaned my glasses now.

However, the obvious answer to your problem is probably (I'm guessing here) not going to work...'get your husband/partner to help'. As you didn't mention one I assume he isn't around.

One of the 'answerers' suggests you 'start believing in abortions' This is probably anathama to you and I'm not going to attempt to promote abortions here. That's a matter for you alone and your conscience and beliefs.

(Perhaps believing in contraception may have been more useful?)

You are not alone. Think how many women have twins. Yes they have trouble fitting in all that needs to be done, yet both children get the same love and attention and, despite all the pressures, women (and children) survive.

Of course pregnancy gives rise to more problems than 'just' the care of the children. It can mean a shortage of money, because you a less able to seek work. It can mean less chance for meeting the 'man of your dreams' who is likely to be less attracted to a woman with two children than one (some men don't like what they call 'baggage')

So, what can you do?

Abortion. Not an option for you, apparently, though possible.

Adoption, I suspect, will not be an option, once you get your new 'little bundle'.

Luck. You MAY not be pregnant, which will relieve your fears. (Let's hope it's this one)

Coping. Many women have faced your problem and they DO cope! They may struggle, they may complain, they may find it difficult to cope, but they DO!

There is help available, even if you are without a man to take on any responsibility, You don't say where you are from, so I don't know which government would be the one to approach. In the UK there are various departments of government that can help with finance, health care, social worker support, etc.

Friends and family will rarely let you down if you genuinely need help.

Live in hope that this 'pregnancy' is not going to happen and, if you are lucky, take more complete steps to avoid the risk of pregnancy next time.

If you are not lucky, try not to worry...your first child will be around a year old, I suspect, when you have the next and will already be on the way to independence.

Don't worry that you won't be able to cope. Thousands of women in similar situations DO cope, and very well...I'm sure you will, too.

Finally, 'Yahoo Answers' is here to ask anything you like about anything that is bothering you, don't be afraid or shy about using its facilities.

Good luck for your future,

Cheers,

BobSpain (just a man)

Answer 3

You can make it.. believe it or not.. I am, and I NEVER thought I could/would!!!!

I was pregnant ((again)) when my first baby was 6 months old and dread.. dread.. absolutely DREADING another pregnancy, and having NO idea how the H E L L I was going to make out alright (avoiding suicide etc.) with two babies so close together (nevermind all the crap that goes along with being pregnant again)..

But... believe it or not.. It's even better having the two than just one!! They are soo sweet together, we really are making it, and we're all so glad it happened this way ('specially their Daddy and I) :)

Of course it's hard having another newborn to cope with for that short while, but it REALLY IS doable. I never would have believed it, but it is, and you really CAN DO IT!!!

E-mail me if you have any questions.. Oh, btw, they are 22 months old (my girl), and alllmost 8 months old (my boy) now.. and it only keeps getting better as time goes on!!

Answer 4

Don't be scared...at 5 months post partum, your body can still be stressed from giving birth and can make you "feel" pregnant.

If you are, then you should see your Dr immediately, but things should be ok, unless you have had complications with your first. Start your prenatals again and just take it easy, if you are stressed, that will stress *both* your babies and will in turn make things harder on yourself!

Try not to think about it, yes, easier said than done, and just focus on your health and your 5 month old. People have had babies closer than that *gone to the 6 week PP check up and found out they were pregnant again* and all was well.

Answer 5

I've been there, my first two are 13 months and 2 days apart, now were expecting surpise #3. there is going to be about 28 months between these two, by mid-summer i will have 3 that are 3 and under. Take a deep breathe and relax. If you need someone to talk to you can email me at [e-mail].

Answer 6

everyone wishes they could turn back time to correct mistakes but that is not possible. you have to first surround yourself with family and friends they may back off at first but you keep trying once you have a support system life is a lot easier. Swallow your pride and do what ever you have to do just MAKE THAT CONNECTION it could mean the difference between hurting yourself or your children due to frustration or calling a friend to come over and babysit for an hour for one or both children. Good luck to you .

Answer 7

DAMN girl you had your babies close, but do the best you can and remember the newest one will need you the most but you have to find time for them both , have faith in yourself and you will do fine


good luck

Answer 8

Try using contraception next time. For now you will have 2 kids that are going to be about 14 months apart. They will both have to deal with breast feeding , at least you have two boobs to offer them. Just don't get pregnant again so quickly.

Answer 9

I think just relax and enjoy it. Maybe find a group or someone to talk to one on one.

Answer 10

You should of been careful.I've heard that women are way more fertile after having a little baby!