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I am 27 years old man, married with a woman who never comply with most of what we have agreed upon, in addition to that, she could easily lie in order to cover a simple non-compliance issues, just in order not to be wrong. Last night she drove me crazy and i lost my temper and I physically fought with her (I admit that was wrong), and then she called her brother and he came last night at late hour and was laudly screeming and also physically fought with me at my house, while our one year daughter was sleeping. what shall I do? I am thinking of devorce, cause I think it is better for the kid to be with one of her parants than live in a house with both parants yielling and screeming most of the time. please advise me. Thanks

2007-03-15 20:47:52 · 18 answers · asked by Unique Person 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

Get a divorce and Never hit a woman again!! That is the most cowardly thing a man can do..

2007-03-15 20:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Seems to me that you feel powerless in this marriage, you use the word compliance and non-compliance as though you are some kind of military commander or a father who does not listen. People lie to one another for many reasons. In a marriage it could be that nothing she does is right in your eyes and she does things often times not realizing that she is wrong. You used your hand to take control (or take power) an this is probably not the first time. A marriage is when two people join together and truly love one another, love does not hurt, lie, cheat or do anything that causes harm. Love is unselfish, whether it is you or her, love is unending, love draws one to another it does not cause separation. The mistake that people make in these times are that they marry believing they they are in-love, understand that if you can fall in- love with someone you can fall-out of love with someone. Love is just love. Make sure that you love her and she needs to make sure that she loves you and that you have not fallen into the trap of misunderstanding. Talk talk, Talk. You have a child and that child loves both of you no matter what you have or have not done it is unconditional, that's how you need to love your wife. Get counseling but do not even consider divorce until you have done all you can do. Then last but now least pray!

2007-03-15 21:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by Bernice J 1 · 1 0

First thing I would do is get a spell checker. Oh better yet, use the one that Yahoo provides.
Who made these rules in the first place? You or her ? Does she have her own set of rules for you to comply and obey with also? You obviously have a hot temper and need to get yourself to an anger management class. Getting physical is not supposed to lead to abuse or brother-in-laws showing up. Getting physical is supposed to lead to having fun together, whether it be playful tickling etc. or an honest good old romp in the sack of a marathon session of some pulsating sex.
Who's rules are they? Get yourself into some marriage counseling and anger management classes right away!! Enjoy the physical art of making love not holes in the wall.

2007-03-15 21:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by Leafs Rule! 2 · 1 0

I'm 22 now and my parents divorced when I was 5 and I think I turned out better than if my parents stayed together and obviously didn't love each other. It's only worth it to stay together for the kid when you are willing to work together, and it sounds like you guys aren't. Especially when you're fighting physically. I would also try to ask yourself if you have been working on your end of the deal as well... If you're getting physical with her, it sounds likely there are other problems as well... And what kind of things did you agree upon? She shouldn't be cheating or anything like that, but is what you agreed on fair to both of you? I think you guys should sit down and talk it out without fighting, maybe try to get some help from couples counseling if you're really serious about trying to work it out.

2007-03-15 20:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by Just Curious 1 · 1 0

I have been married for 7 years and we have been together for 14 years. We got together when he was 19 and I just turned 17. He had 2 kids already and we had our first in 1997.

We have been through it ALL...I suggest counselling!! If you guys are to selfish not to go and get some help then ... yes, you guys should not be together. I am trying not to be insensitive, but counselling does work for people who are truly compatible. More then anything do it for your kid. BUT YOU BOTH HAVE TO GO!!!!! You guys are like a team you all have to work together if you want to win! If there is only one person doing all the work then that creates resentment and animosity. Good luck!!

2007-03-15 21:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by Black Mamba 1 · 1 0

Both of you are guilty for noncompliance. I'm sorry but getting physically violent like that is not normal. Yes, get a divorce. In marriage there isn't one boss telling the other what to do and how to act. It's two people respecting each other and compromising. It was a big mistake because neither of you are ready for this. Get out before she sends you to jail. Take care of your daughter's needs in the meantime. Your daughter is gonna grow up to find her a man that beats her up because she saw her Daddy do it to her Mommy. She is gonna think that's what love is. No, no, no.

2007-03-15 20:56:04 · answer #6 · answered by Suz E. Home BAKER 6 · 0 0

There are some issues that married couples shouldn't in any respect have interaction in. This sport your spouse inspired ought to truthfully be easily one of them. And, enable this be a really, very pointed lesson to you; not in any respect provide an answer for your spouse in this kind of vein that has some thing to do including her relatives or acquaintances or maybe acquaintances. that's too close. in case you imagine that way (that you actually shouldn't) do not tell; no longer now, easily no longer. so a procedures as your spouse owing you and her sister an apology, you're incorrect. both you and her sister knew it replaced into incorrect for you 2 to be in mattress at the same time. And, it is your fault for no longer being a guy of morals who may bypass this temptation and get your head out of somebody else's vagina and position it squarely the position it belonged, including your spouse. Your wondering is skewed and consider blown your human being marriage. Take duty on your human being movements and note in case you may restore the damage you've finished for your relatives. that could no longer be straightforward, particularly because that's her sister that you've a sexual relationship with. This one is going to take a lot of work and prayer. i am hoping you're up for the job. you're going to favor time, power, and exertions to get over this one.

2016-12-02 02:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Well I think you just answered your own question. Obviously neither one of you are mature enough to handle marriage! If you can't work out your problems without getting pyhsical then there is a serious problem. No body said marriage was easy but you need to understand that there is a child in your home that deserves better!! Shame on you and your wife for putting your daughter in that kind of environment!! Out of curiosity, what kind of rules is your wife refusing to comply to? I think you both need counseling. Marriage as well as individual. Good luck and I wish the best for your daughter.

2007-03-15 20:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by JENNIFER C 1 · 1 1

Rules? Marriage has vows not rules and hitting a woman is not going to solve anything, but destroy her love for you and you are just being a bully....marriage is a give and take, and if ever there were rules, which is really ridiculous, they were made to be broken, loosen up, apologize to her and hope that you can still salvage your marriage, if indeed you love each other, otherwise, yes, get a divorce now while your daughter is still young enough , not to suffer the consequences that divorce causes. Good Luck and please keep your hands to yourself, nothing is solved by physical abuse.

2007-03-15 21:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Legal separation, then talk about it later when heads have cooled.

She isn't honoring the marriage, and you should have pulled a stronger card before the grappling. Don't give her an easy way to not honor her end of the partnership.

You are breaking the first rule of love. DO NOT ARGUE AND FIGHT WITH KIDS ABLE TO WATCH. You punish in private and praise in public. Physical violence is not tolerable from both parties either.

And do not "save the relationship" for your daughter. If there's nothing left, move on. Sorry.

2007-03-15 20:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 0 2

It appears u have no experience with wife. Wives are like that, they do not comply with any agreements, and easily lie etc. etc. U must learn to understand them, that is what marriage is all about. It is mainly a battle of wits, and she is the better player. Don't lose temper and do not become physical, u will make a fool of yourself, and she will get more sympathy and more support. Do not think of divorce, it means u have lost the battle and also the war.

2007-03-15 20:54:52 · answer #11 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0 2

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